I love being locked, but being a self locker it can be problematic. I can release myself, I get no outside stimulation and I feel sometimes that being locked is more of a chore than anything else. Being locked by someone special that you can taste, smell, touch, and please without any sexual self gratification seems the ultimate goal.....but not having any of that makes being a self locker like buying tickets to the amusement park after the rides are closed. Was going to get a PA and a device that I would be locked with no escape...but why with no one to share chastity with. Believe me, I've tried to find someone and have run into pros who would just consider me an ATM machine, never a women looking for a honest relationship with a locked man. I have all these tickets to the amusement park.......
I feel the same way you do. What has happened is the advent of cheap devices. In my time you had to make a real commitment since you were looking at spending several hundred dollars for a device that was not returnable. Now you can spend $25 or less to just give it a try. For that kind of money, why not try it. It is also the type of fetish that sounds good in your head because you are not feeling your hormones screaming for an orgasm. I know at times I want out and it was my wife who soothed me and reminded me that I am doing it for her and then had sex with me, edged me and let me share her orgasm. I could not imagine locking up for the sake of locking up. It is all the things you do with a Keyholder that make it interesting, arousing and fun for me. I want to make this clear, self locking is a valid fetish just like any other. However I would not call it chastity. It is celibacy. Chastity requires an exchange of power. You can read that anywhere and hear it from those into it for a long time. Self locking does not need a power exchange. Chastity involves having sex, being edged and tease and remaining chaste not because you are locked up since we can all masturbate while locked, but because you gave your work to a Keyholder that you will remain chaste. Self locking is no less a fetish than any other. It is just more properly labeled as something else. It sometimes appears that chastity is growing due to self lockers. Fetlife is filled with self lockers with post limited to devices and how to hide the keys from yourself. For some reason many seem to think you do not need quick access to an emergency key and that makes me believe that they are one of the many men living their sex lives online. I also question if using an online Mistress or Emlalock is really chastity too. Neither involves having a Keyholder who you interact with in the flesh. One that can edge you and share her orgasm with. Still not the same and I am the type of guy who wants all that I can get from a fetish. Just wearing a slave collar is not going to make me feel that I am into BDSM. I repeat, still a good and valid fetish, just not very close to Chastity. I drive a car and yet do not consider myself a race car driver. There is a lot of elements missing to call myself that.
Never thought of it that way, but I tend to agree with your definition. Going on websites and looking at members the preponderance seem to be horney guys with dick pics trying to say the right thing or Pros willing to take their money. Each to their own I guess. I actually talked to women as to what they would want to see in a posting and 100 percent were turned off by the above mentioned. Based on their feedback, I have posted real emotions and state how I truely feel and to date I've not received any inquires but...when I have contacted a few of the listings directly I always get a reply. I will take that as a win. So who knows what the future holds but I'm keeping my fingers crossed
If you are looking for a KH that you can care about in a significant way, interact with in a meaningful way someone that you want to be with and wants to be with you then stop looking for a KH. Meet other people form and have relationships with them if the rlaltionships develop as one might hope and all else is well then is the time to consider introducing them to TTTWD.. If you approach that well and show them the advantages to them of your relationship changing in such a way as chastity play becomes something that they want to do and enjoy doing you are half way there to finding a KH. Unless you meet them through sites like this or are introduced through mutual friends that know you both have this as an interest then its unlikely you will know you have met a potential KH initially. So its the person first the realtionsip second and chastity play the potential icing on the cake.