Real or roleplay?

I submit absolutely to my wife in all aspects of my life. The essence of our female-controlled marriage is gender reversal. She is the husband, I am the wife. I would not have it otherwise.

 

For us it's a bit of both. It's noto role play when it comes to chastity and sexual activity. It truly is something I gave her and how she proceeds is up to her and how she wants it to be.

The other stuff...I guess it's kinda role play, maybe that's not the right word, more like equal partners. We are separate financially, and I see no reason to change that. She's an independent woman with a great job and her own things. I have a great job and have my own money as well. I don't feel the need to know where her money goes, or inclined to ask what to do with mine. We spend most of free time together, I don't feel the need to ask her to do something else, but will certainly tell what I'm doing so she isn't worried, and kind of expect the same.

We make decisions that effect both of us together, and everything else is trust.

Punishments, routines, maid service, occasional feminine attire, etc...are things that either excite her or something she thinks keeps me attentive. Serious but if she didn't feel like punishing me, or exerting her will, she doesn't. It isn't supposed to be work for her.

So we are serious, but we are also equals in other areas.

 

Great question @Mistress Lucy. The question also relates to how much control spills over into the actual relationship (like @Nicoftime mentioned).

I've had this discussion with many couples. Sometimes it can be a fine line between all the sexy kinkiness of chastity (or whatever other type of dom/sub activity) and true happiness in the relationship. Some couples are more serious about the level of control and that works for them. I'd say that's rare though from what I've seen.

Most people I've talked to agree that, like anything else in life, it's healthiest with a proper balance. A lot of subs could quickly feel less loved or less valued if they aren't treated as an equal in certain aspects of their relationship. There's not one answer for everyone, it varies from person to person and there's a broad spectrum from vanilla to the extreme. It's really interesting to hear everyone's opinion so keep them coming.

 

Sadly, I've never been able to put this to the test. But as a genuine female worshipper, feminist and someone who is keen to be in a FLR, I think for me it wouldn't be roleplay. I would obviously wish to have a say in important matters, such as where to live, mortgages, etc
But role play itself doesn't interest me. I'm not an actor and can't fake such things. Neither would I want her to be.
Yes, there are privacy issues, and we would need to pick our moments to engage in such talk. For me though, it wouldn't be a lifestyle choice, it would be an everyday occurrence. The norm. The way I am.

 

Lana's sissy pet feels it to be real. There have been some things Lana's sissy pet has done only because her Goddess wanted her to. Plus Lana's sissy pet is quite obedient; she finds the thrill in being "made" to do things she really doesn't want to.

 

My Wife has final say in all matters (although my opinion is important), she has the right to discipline as and when she sees fit and I do the majority of the household chores, as well as serve and fetch as required. This is 24/7 for us, but it's not intense or fetishistic like I'd imagine a roleplay situation would be.

 

I am dominant by nature. Used to settle my differences with my fists. I was raised that way and saw non dominant people as sheep. Yet, when I played football I obeyed my coach. I submitted to his will but only in the context of the relationship we had. We do the same with our bosses, coaches, teachers, military officers, etc.. We submit to get something we need in return whether sexual or otherwise.

I look at it as giving my submission and not the other person dominating me. That submission is given under specific circumstances like being paid to work, joining a team or engaging in a sexual fetish in return for something I want. I can withdraw my submission at anytime by quitting the team, job or sexual activity in which I am submissive. It would be the odd man who seeks to be dominated in ways he has no say in and in all areas of his life.

If you submit for specific reasons, that can be considered role play since you are not submissive outside whatever it is that you submitted to. For me, submitting is an escape from being in control at work and making decisions all the time. It does feel good to let someone else take control and make the decisions for a change. I always felt that the sub was always in charge and therefore the true dominant. He could halt things with safe word of simply refusing to be submissive to you. As the domme you need his consent and submission to prevent charges of kidnapping and felony assault, etc.. So even the domme plays a roll. I knew that the first time my wife and I visited a BDSM couple with the wife as the domme. During club play the wife dressed the part, feminized her husband and had other men use him The perfect slave but at home socially he was no longer submissive. It rarely ends well when your let your fetishes bleed over into your married life. There is just so much to do that is no sexual and for a marriage to work there must be mutual love and respect. Imposing your will on your spouse 24/7 does not promote the love and respect needed. Also met 24/7 slaves but they rarely lasted even a year. The initial excitement wears off and you wake up some day not feeling like being a sub or licking feet, doing all the housework and being treated badly all the time. So most of us play roles.

How many female dommes think that once their session is over or their command emailed to their sub, that the sub spends much time feeling submissive to you? I think not in most cases. They assume a role and limit that role to only your interactions with them That is how most do it but some dommes seek the world through Mistress colored glasses. I wonder how many have good long lasting loving marriages with husbands as their equals. Being dominated is a poor substitute for a real relationship. I have tried both ways and only lasted when we left our fetishes in the bedroom and just loved each other at all other times and no one did anything that the other would not like. If I am going out someplace, I tell my wife when a where. She does the same If one of us object, we just do not do it. We put our marriage before all else, monogamy, sexual fetishises and freindships.

It was Shakespeare who said and brilliantly hit on the truth that:

All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages. At first, the infant,
Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms.
Then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
Full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard,
Jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel,
Seeking the bubble reputation
Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
In fair round belly with good capon lined,
With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
Full of wise saws and modern instances;
And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
Into the lean and slippered pantaloon,
With spectacles on nose and pouch on side;
His youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide
For his shrunk shank, and his big manly voice,
Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
That ends this strange eventful history,
Is second childishness and mere oblivion,
Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything.

 

It started as role play about 8 months ago, but it's becoming real, both in and out of the bedroom. I could usually win an argument with my wife because she does not like to argue, but in the end she would usually get her own way. Tease and denial has changed us, she will ask for my opinion, but she will make the final decision on everything. I trust her judgement, and if I can make her happy...I do it for selfish reasons (because it makes me very happy). We never argue any more. Life is good.

 

Chastity and our developing FLR just got us through the worst year of our lives. We both think that without them the stress we were under would have quite probably ripped us apart. Instead we are closer than ever and reaping the benefits now the stress is over.

Life is good and my submission to Elle is very real. Hers isn't a harsh dominance and she doesn't sit around telling me what to do all of the time, but it is still real.

 

I would say a bit of both, but has been leaning more and more to real life. I am starting to think I don't have a choice, but that's ok with me I am better this way

 

it fully submits Mistress Lucy

 

Funny but I think you need to define your question to get a true answer ... as Nicoftime stated it is not a simple yes or no ... there is role play in our chastity lifestyle ... put another way ... a cage can be defeated and a KH may not like being dominate, but at the same time the KH holds the key and the cage wearer chooses not to defeat the cage ... is that role play or submission?

 

Yes and No. We are partners in life and help support each other. Im naturally dominant and so forth in the business world. At home, she is in charge of me. She does not sit around directing me all the time, but she does expect things to be part of my routine....

 

well i'm a maid and that's my job and if i don't do it I don't think i be allow to live here any more. i like doing it anyway and its lots better than what i did in Spain. That was ever such a lot of work. Now i living here i don't has to woryy bout the rent and money and that's a lot better for me cos i wern any good at doing any of that.

 

What would happen if she denies you for life. Would you accept that or step out of the role you are playing in which you get ocassional orgasms in return for your obedience. Without orgasms what reason is there for you to submit. Being a woman is not a reason to submit to someone. Each gender is no better than the other. You submit to get something out of your submission and after 47 years at this, I would bet that once your sexual needs are not met, your submission will end just like it does for pro dommes and their online subs. As soon as they do not dominate their subs the way they want to be dominated, the subs disappear.

If ordered to would you go outside naked being led on a leash and bend over for any man who wants to penetrate you? How about tied to a cross and have both men and women whip you until you are a bloody mess? That is what I saw in real submissives. For all others, their submission has conditions which in turn makes it role playing. It is such because the submission is based on the roles that are played and are not unconditional. My wife runs our life and house but I do not feel submissive to here. It is just that at our stage of life and my memory problems, my wife is best able to run things. That is not the same as domination.

Do you allow your wife to win all arguments or are you forced to by threats of punishment? There is a big difference in the too. A true sub lives for his or her dom regardless if they like what they are told to do or not. At 19 I thought I was a true sub. My mistress lived with me. I paid all of her bills and she had sex with a few men every week then coming home to rub my face in ot so to speak. She also used me as her toilet and had full say as to what we did.

Then one day she asked my 3 visiting friends to gang bang her. They looked at me and I nodded yes as an obedient sub would. Hover when she called me in later and told me to clean her up with my tongue, I realized that I was not really a sub because I could say no. Not only did I say no but I had her perform oral on me before kicking her out. She knew that she crossed the line and read me wrong. Oral sex was not enough to remedy what she did and so she was out of my life. That is when I realized that we are not really unconditional subs but play the role of subs according to the script of the play.

As I used to ask some hubby subs, would you stand by submissively as your wife brought home different guy every night and went away for long vacations with lovers? Some cuckolds might as I have cucked a man like that. However, how about if your domme tells you to dress like a woman at all times at home and in public or have men use you sexually in front of your friends? A true submissive does as they are told regardless of their approval. Once you establish limits, it becomes role playing. The domme cannot dominate without the subs consent. The sub has the power, not the domme. Utter a safe word and all comes to a halt. Teh domme has no such word to utter to make you submissive again.

We all are playing a role in sexual fetishes. I have met very few subs who will endure anything that they dommes want to do to them. I would not say that they were in the best of psychological condition because allowing things done to you that you do not like or enjoy is not the sign of a well adjusted individual. As someone with mental issues who let himself be used as a toilet by two women for 5 years, whipped until bleeding and kicked in the balls until they swelled up twice their size and a lot more, I learned at after proper treatment I no longer allowed any of that to happen again. Right now I have promised my wife that she can control my orgasms. She did not ask for that. She consented to play that game with me, a game I can end in an instant. Yet dommes like me. I could orgams from pain alone and withing the limits of our game, they could do whatever they wanted without me using my safe word. When I submit, I submit wholeheartedly as an actor would to his part in a movie.

 

I submit to my Mistress totally in things around the house and our sex life. With regards to our businesses or way of making a living she says and does nothing about how I run my business and I say nothing about how she runs hers. I take care of all the house hold expences out of my income while what she makes from her business is 100% hers. My business makes almost 5 times as much as hers does so for me to cover everything isn't a major concern. This is the one part of our lives that is totally separate.

 

Fully submit to my lovely wife and love every moment

 

Really submit!

 

It is for sex so it is for me and my wife a Kind of sextoy and play

 

I'm sure I have some hard limits, I just don't know what they are...and thankfully, because I know my wife, I will never find out. I do know that tease and denial has made me understand who I am, and if my wonderful sex life ended tomorrow, I would still be submissive to my wife.

 

I am still able to keep the bedroom related situations where I submit to her without question isolated from our everyday life where I am slightly dominant. Maybe it will change as my wife feels more and more comfortable in her dominant role and tries to expand it to other aspect of our life. When we started this lifestyle she was reluctant and just simply accepted the keyholder role but now after we were taking a two weeks break due to vacation trip issues she eagerly wanted us to continue our experience when we came back.

 

I think it is a matter of personal perspective of the terms submission and roleplay.

Do I let my partner control my denial yes. Is that submission? .. pretty much ...
Do I let my partner control when I am and am not locked. Pretty much unless I'm unlocked too long. (yes I said unlocked)

Would I let my partner dictate anything else.. sometimes somethings .. thats in a sense roleplay outside TTTWD its also called keeping the cart on the rails. We are going here and I'd like you to wear this suit with that tie ... yes dear of course dear .. why would I care... that keeping th cart on the rails.
Wear these panties I've bought you .. roleplay ...unless you hate the idea.. then compliance is submission

Could I live in a full time Femdom FLR that allowed me no choices... NO. So in the true sense of the word I am not submissive.
Could I live full time with anyone ... not now.. one day maybe... but I doubt it. Full time 100% committment LDR yes .... see not submissive