As I type this I am exactly 35 mins in to 11 hours of chastity. I’m sitting in the kitchen and my wife is watching TV and sadly she doesn’t know anything about it. To cut a long story short, we have a very young family and I go off to a stressful job each day and our youngest keeps my wife up most nights. Our sex life is therefore virtually non-existent. I’ve always been turned on by fetishes and BDSM but although I’ve tried to gently introduce it my wife has never really got into it. I’ve also got a high (normal?) sex drive and end up very frustrated and enjoying myself far too much, which is now just getting boring. I’ve therefor turned my frustrations around and into this game which I can play on my own. Being very handy at making things I’ve fitted a time lock onto a cheap electronic key safe and it’s due to open at 6:45 tomorrow morning. In it is the keys to my chastity device. I’ve not worn this device for more than a few hours and never overnight. I’m slightly apprehensive about getting to sleep. The safe can be opened by the number pad, but I don’t know the code, and also by the override key. This key is under my wife’s mattress (we have different rooms as she’s up several times per night feeding) so once she’s gone to bed there is no way out… Looking forward to some people’s thoughts and hopefully encouragement!
Anonoman, Welcome to the Mansion! Sounds like you have things pretty well thought out for tonight, Bravo! What are you currently locked in? Does your wife have any interest whatsoever in being your keyholder? Perhaps a well thought out lengthy conversation is in order. Keep us posted with your successes and of course your angst.....
Thanks! It’s a HoD Clear Holy Trainer V2. I did carefully show her a good few weeks ago and she was quite surprised. In the past we’ve taken both rolls but this was the first time I’ve shown a true submissive side to her. She did mention a few weeks later about us having sex the following night and that I might have to wear my ‘little padlock’. But I think when it came to it we’d had a long day and the mood wasn’t there. I’ve been reading some other posts and starting to really wish I wasn’t locked up - I can really feel the enclosure fitting snuggly! Perhaps if I’m really attentive she might be in the mood tomorrow night….?
Sounds like you need to have a big chat with your wife. Have you considered helping with the sleepless child at night so your wife is less tired?
I do help as much as I can and I hope I don't come across as only considering my own needs. In my defense I'm not anotomicaly equipped to help during the night.
You are in a typical situation. Long ago my wife asked her best friend to sexually dominate me and she did so for 30 years. I have a great wife but not too great because it was all a part of her plan to get into her girlfriend's panties without just coming out and telling her she has sexual feelings for her. I found a good method to get my wife into chastity. I just asked my wife to skip giving me an orgasm while having sex so I can have a more intense one the next time. Over time the orgasm denial periods increased slowly, all so we could see how intense my eventual orgasm would be. I threw in some info on Tantric sex too. When I did orgasm I acted a little bit so that my wife saw the positive results of her denying me. I also only thanked her when she denied me, never when she let me orgasm Simple positive reinforcement. I also made myself be nicer, avoiding any semblance of an argument or disagreement. After my orgasm I would complain about feeling that I lost a lot of energy that I had when I was denied. It was not until she wanted me to be denied 3 weeks did I introduce her to a chastity device and explained how it would help me keep my promise to be chaste. Presto chango, 3 years later my wife lost all feelings of guilt about denying me. Do not over complicate things. Forget chastity contracts and magically turning your wife into a dominatrix simply by clicking on a chastity device. 11 hours is not a lot of time so you should have no problem. However, I have had to unlock a few times at night when one of my testicles escaped and the other was being squashed trying to escape. Good that you have a key somewhere you can get at it. I never did try any of my fetishes without my wife and I have done most of the fetishes out there. I have always been very open about my sexual needs and desires. If I bought a new sex toy I would show it to my wife the next time we had sex and ask her to try it out with me. She always has been willing to try and would do things she was not into, just to please me. I hit the jackpot with my wife. Willing to be kinky and always shared her girlfriends with me in threesomes. Try teasing and denial first before you spring the chastity cage on your wife. I wear mine all the time to the point that I do not even think about it unless I think about it. It did take me 3 months to get used to wearing it to bed comfortably though.
Glad to know you do your fair share - the wording of the original post didn't seem that way. To be honest, during breast feeding period it is pretty normal for women to not be too interested in sex. I've had a few kids, and have had to put up with long periods of not getting it much. Our sex life was rather stop/start for 6 years. Make sure you are supportive during these times. Have you shown her information online about the benefits of male chastity i.e. more attentiveness and orgasms for her? It takes many years to work on things, and don't expect things to happen overnight. Communication is critical. Good luck!
Ask her to express enough for the night feed and than take the shift. Once you give her little more space to her she will definitely start asking questions. Good luck
I remember our first child 10 years ago. I introduced chastity to my wife when my son was 7 months old. She was receptive but in retrospect, it wasn't the ideal time - i gave her a book (i think it was a Lucy Fairborne? book). To make a long story short, she was very vanilla and with a young child she was frankly focused on more important issues. The second child 3 years later didn't help, but as they got a bit older i reintroduced chastity to her. She was again receptive and we stated on our journey. It's been several years and she still isn't totally dominant, but she keeps the key and rarely gives it back unless i travel. I generally stay locked 24/7 for weeks at a time. I get less than 5 orgasms per year. Keep at it and it will happen.
I know the moderators here are contingent of not posting inappropriate items so i've blurred out the inappropriate areas and hope this is ok to post, but here is my wife and me now - hard to believe she's 40 years old.
I don’t think an initial face to face conversation is my best way of aproaching my wife about chastity. I think she will panic and it could go wrong. I’m thinking about leaving the letter below with a copy of “Male Chastity: A Guide for Keyholders by Lucy Fairborn” for her to find after I’ve gone to work. This way she can read it in her own time, think about it and see how it sits with her before I get back. I would appreciate any feedback... I’ve been wondering how to broach this; how would you like to play a game? If I may say, I think you will really enjoy it in the long term! If you don’t want to play or you decide that you don’t like it after starting, then that is also 100% OK. I’ve left this book for you to read as I think it puts things really well, much better than I could… Put simply would you like to tell me to put on my ‘little padlock’ and only let me take it off when you wanted me to over a period of time of your choice? It is completely undetectable under clothes and comfortable to wear and it would be completely at your discretion as to when you told me to wear it. Simply, with it locked on I can’t remove it, it doesn’t let me get erect and I can’t ‘O’. I would be completely beholden to you for sexual gratification. However may I propose that we played this game for something like two weeks so we can both see how we find it? For the full duration of the time we were playing I would not pester you for sex or to take it off. It would only ever be 100% your choice that, and if, I did and you would have both the keys. During the game you, again only if you wanted to, can ask me to pleasure you in any way and with no expectation to be allowed to take it off. If I did make an unrequested sexual advance or made a nuisance of myself at any time you could set appropriate consequences to discourage a repeat. Again, completely your choice so purely as an examples, that could be an extension of the length of the game or deliberate tease and denial. I only have two conditions, everything else would be your decision. I don’t wear it to work as it would go against the ‘role’ I have to fill. However you could, say, tell me to put it on before coming down after putting #### to bed and then let me take it off before leaving for work the following day. I also don’t want to blur the line between an extended bed-room game and real life. i.e. the book talks about using a chastity device to make a man submissive at all time and virtually becoming a ‘slave’. This game would be about me submitting to you sexually, for a period of time of your choice, but all other aspects of our lives wouldn’t change. Of utmost importance is I don’t want you to feel any pressure to play this game, it may go completely against how you enjoy life. However if you decide you would like to play and after some time you, or I, or we both may decide it’s not for us. From my side of our relationship any of these outcomes wouldn’t change a thing about us going forwards but I feel it would have been a question worth asking. Alternatively we both may really enjoy it and decide it’s a game we want to repeat at another time!
Hi, I would get scared of such long letter, as you mentioned in the beginning that it's only a game for two weeks. The letter is more like live changing approach to yours sexual live together. It would discourage my wife that's for sure. But it might perfectly work for you. I found texting fantasies with my wife is more fun and I always nudge little dipper with my requests... As a fantasy point, I squeezed from my wife that she would me to see taken by another man... So everything is possible if you find the right approach. You know your wife best and even that you don't like face to face conversation, do what's best for her not for you. And see how that's gonna work. I am only new here with little flr experience. Only advice of what I read here and my own point of you. Good luck.
Thanks for the feedback. I'm quit (really) nervous about this! When I started with this 'game', at the beginning of this thread, I had no idea that I'd be at this point now.... I'm hope to keep updates coming in my thread in the Vault and also hope to be able to contribute to others. Being so new to all this, and my own emotions, I haven't felt qualified to do any more than lurk!