Hey, this is my first post after research-lurking for a while! First up thanks CM for the useful insights and encouragements, any more of that would be really welcomed and hope I can give the same to others someday. Been exploring and settling into chastity for over a year now. Like others I felt I was masturbating too much, opened up to my wife and wondered if chastity could help after coming across it online. Started with a CB-6000 with lock-ups for a couple days at a time, and eventually moved onto a MM Jailbird a few months ago. Now she is my KH and been working up to weekly releases. My sex drive is much higher than hers, for us it's been a way of showing my willingness to save sexual release for her, rather than a kink or FLR. She no longer feels under pressure to have sex... only if she's in the mood, otherwise she's happy to get me off knowing that I haven't masturbated without her... Maybe not what chastity is about for many here, but it's what it is to us... We see this has improved our marriage lots so far, but still isn't always an easy thing to do. Yesterday she asked me to go the next few weeks locked without release, which is new for us. I'm a bit nervous really, any advice? Also any others using chastity for a similar circumstance of different sex drives? Thanks!!
When we first started it was only giving up control. She had the keys and could use it any time she wanted. No FLR, no discipline, just me telling her I was sexually submissive and wanted her to be in charge of all my sexual behavior. It has moved past that since.
That's awesome! I'm still really new to this myself but I'm a fan of your outlook on it. I'm sure the next few weeks will be enjoyable. She's probably just giving you a little treat.
I have a huge sex drive. So much so that it drove my wife crazy. I love kink and bondage, BDSM, breath play, you name it. My wife on the other hand has a low sex drive. So, much like you I offered chastity as a way of control for her. I am a 24/7 lockup. I like it for the kink and she likes it because she knows she's in charge. Having been at it for a few years now she uses it for her benefit. It's helped me control my sex drive and put it to a more constructive use. Keeping her happy. @Keyholder Kim loves it now.
Oh yeah, watch out for the mood changes. You can get yourself into trouble really fast. I get quite the attitude after a few weeks of lock down.
My sex drive is still much higher than my KH, so that was part of the reason for me to. I was also tired of feeling like I was being rejected frequently, or sometimes she clearly participated to only please me. Menopause doesn't help either. But I also wanted to be submissive to another as well. Told her that way back when we first met.
With two people with open minds, you can really get to know a lot about your partner and your self. We first started, and she said she could never hit or hurt someone. I was cool with that, never really was my gig anyway. I read some books that made it sound hot, but actually receiving it would be different. Then out of the blue she wants to give me a spanking, she did the hot wax on me too. Was fun but still not something I could really understand. Then she said she was super turned on. I felt her, she was soaked like I've never felt. Boom instantly I was into it. For me it's not so much the act, but how much she gets turned on by it. Now it's not even play, its discipline to change behavior. She gets a thrill, and says she feels empowered. Ya never know. She didn't even know.