How long did it take you girlfriend/wife to no longer feel guilty?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Vinny, Nov 27, 2016.

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  1. Vinny
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    Vinny Locked up again. Starting year 6.

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    #1 Vinny, Nov 27, 2016
    Let's face it, if your key holder loves you they are going to feel guilty about denying you orgasms. In many cases a woman will view your orgasm as a sign of her desirability and sexual ability the same as we men would do so with women. So there is guilt involved and I think many of use see this in our key holders. At first my wife was calling sex without my orgasm as fake sex. She did this for two years. By the third year she was willing to deny me for a few months but I could see that she was still feeling guilty and constantly seeking reassurance that I was OK with no having an orgasm.

    In year 4 she was more at ease with denying me an orgasm for up to 4 months at a time but still felt that she should give me a few ruined orgasms. She was still suseptable to my show of unhappiness without an orgasm. It was not until the second half of year 4 did she finally feel no guilt and would no longer let my displays of being at the end of my rope, sway her. Finally she will deny me for as long as she wants to no matter how I behave or what I say. There is no more hesitation in her voice or look of fear if I beg for release and she says no. Now after her orgasms she is done and gets out of bed no matter what I say. I can still suggest a date for my orgasm if it is a major holiday or a special occasion but all she will tell me is "maybe" now. Thanksgiving was a maybe that became the "be". No orgasm for me. Now I am hoping for xmas but she may put it off until Valentine's Day. Maybe not even then since she really wants me to wait until June to get on her twice a year schedule. Time will tell.

    My situation may be different. I am married 44 years. My wife is bi with a preference for sex with women and has not allowed any kind of penetration for longer than we can remember. Maybe 20+ years. She does not find male genitalia attractive and thinks ejaculation and semen are disgusting. She does give me oral sex but mostly to tease me from time to time, perhaps 6 times a year. She prefers to have her own orgasm with her vibrator but will allow me to use my hand or mouth from time to time as a special treat instead of giving me an orgasm. In reality she does not need my penis at all. Last week she had 6 orgasms that, as she said, I know about. That is because she had 6 with me in three days but I have not idea how many times she masturbates since she has her own bedroom and reminded me that her vibrator stays with her.

    So I think we have finally gotten to where we wanted chastity to go. No guilt on her part and complete acceptance of any orgasm denial period she wants. It took us a long time to get there but we finally made it. I wonder how long it took other lover/keyholders to become guilt free and for their chastity boys to accept very long term denial? Oddly enough I am at peace without orgams now when in the past that is all I could think about and wait for. Now I do not seem to care at all. I think it was due to slowly getting to this point rather than rushing to it. Your thoughts?
     
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  2. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    #2 Nicoftime, Nov 27, 2016
    I am perhaps too inexperienced to have a proper answer, but for us, it was right around the 5 month mark. I'm not saying she is totally guilt free, but she no longer feels the need to release me from the cage after I pleasure her with my mouth, dildo, or wand.

    I think the healing time from my piercing helped. I wasn't able to have piv sex so often used mouth or toys only. And since it wasn't to be touched sexually, was easier to leave me locked without guilt. Since then, I please her sexually on a regular basis with no reciprocation and didn't see any concern on her face...I think she gets it...DAMN!
     
  3. Savorytart
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    Savorytart Seeking slaves

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    #3 Savorytart, Nov 28, 2016
    Why would there be any guilt? I just can't see it..
     
  4. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    #4 Jasmic68, Nov 29, 2016
    It took Elle three or four months. Our early experience is exactly how you describe it and we talked a lot about why she felt guilty. Like lots of women she measured her sexual prowess through a male orgasm rather than her own. She was sexy because I had an orgasm. Plus orgasms are nice, why on earth would not having one be good?

    I think a key difference is one you have pointed out in other threads. You were doing this on your own, inventing what you did as you went. I had access to the Mansion and read about this very subject early on. Because I realized it was a risk I recognized when it happened and reassured her that I was happy not having an orgasm.

    Elle then saw for herself the change in me when I went without an orgasm. She has seen how my response to her increases with potency. During the days after an orgasm my response dulls. What she does is nice, but not collapse in a mess nice. Wait a few weeks and my fizz returns.

    I think now that rather than guilt about me not having an orgasm the only thing she feels is occasional regret that I don't, but only if we have piv sex and she has set out to let me have an orgasm and it doesn't happen. She certainly didn't sound or act guilty a few mornings ago when she had an orgasm but I didn't as she came too soon.
     
  5. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    #5 Jasmic68, Nov 29, 2016
    For 25 years we lived as a normal, vanilla couple. Sexual relief was mutual. If one or the other of us didn't orgasm through sex then we were disappointed. It never bothered me if I didn't get an orgasm through piv sex but it did bother her. It did however bother me if I came and she didn't. Denying me an orgasm on purpose made her feel awful at first, she really didn't understand what was so good about it and didn't believe I could possibly be serious about it.

    When we started using chastity she had to learn that denying me an orgasm didn't diminish her sexuality. Societal programming was ingrained from childhood. It just took her a while to realize that what we are doing might not be normal but it is our normal.
     
  6. nvrsaynvr63
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    nvrsaynvr63 Long term member

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    #6 nvrsaynvr63, Nov 29, 2016
    With us I don't know if guilt would be the right word. She does want to please me and make me happy sexually, just as I want to please her. While we've only been into this about six months, she now understands that not allowing me to orgasm is pleasing me sexually because all the tease and denial that goes along with it. I think if there wasn't some concern that I wasn't fulfilled sexually, it would be horrible and not say much for our relationship.
     
  7. steviepie
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    steviepie inferior and unworthy male

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    #7 steviepie, Nov 29, 2016
    Perhaps she'd feel better if she knew how much more powerful your orgasms were after waiting?
     
  8. Lockedwithlove
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    Lockedwithlove I am my Queen's toy

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    #8 Lockedwithlove, Dec 3, 2016
    It's really hard for me to tell, I don't think she feels guilty about it anymore but certainly in the beginning. She would allow me to orgasm twice a week or so at first and usually only wanted reciprocation once during that week for herself. It went from a couple times a week to once a week and now our average lockup is 10 to 14 days. This last time I was left unlocked for a 24hr period and we both orgasmed twice in that time. My only complaint is that she herself likes to wait for any physical stimulation until she's ready to release me, says her orgasms are way better and stronger this way. So it's really orgasm denial for both of with not much teasing in between. Things get very hot and passionate though when she decides we get to play because of the wait for both of us. There might have been more T&D if we didn't have a toddler running around wearing us out and I need to remember this. Sometimes you just don't have time for the little extras or are just too tired by the end of the day.

    Nonetheless I'm sure she doesn't feel guilty any longer if she ever did. I think her biggest concern was she thought that my device was painful or uncomfortable to wear no matter how many times I assured her that it wasn't she still seemed hesitant. Now there is no hesitation, sometimes I'm allowed to be out longer after being locked as a reward for being good but she knows not to make it to long as I admitted that even at this point I can't be trusted as "playing" becomes a little to tempting. @Vinny your case shows that patience is key to this lifestyle regardless of your situation, as all of us have now proven it can be anywhere between months and years before wants and desires are fulfilled in this lifestyle but definitely worth waiting for.
     
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