Well? Are you? Here's another thought. Fantasies are great. But living them is better. I no longer have many fantasies. I have things that my Wife does to me. I have my feelings for my Wife. I have experiences and hopes and I am absolutely having a ridiculous amount of fun. I didn't expect to have as much fun when I first put on a chastity device last October but something clicked in my head at the same time my Wife clicked the lock shut that very first time. I still remember the shock of realization that it felt good, damn good, handing that key over. A lot has changed since then, least not the chastity device I am wearing, but my Wife's original decree that this is going to have to be fun for her to take part still stands. My Wife hasn't looked as happy or had as much fun with me as she has done in the last few weeks for a very long time, if ever. Not everyone is as lucky as I am, I am very aware of that. Many are looking for a Mistress or Master who will care for them and look after them and help them through a difficult transition. I truly hope they find what they are seeking because I know I would not be doing this without my Wife. I never wanted to keep a journal when I was having normal sex with my Wife but chastity is inherently different. I need to write all the stuff I do to help me make sense of the changes in my life because I am totally living this lifestyle 24/7/365 and there is no going back. That is why I am still here several months and many hundreds of posts later, still trying to work out what the heck I am doing and sometimes wondering whether it was such a good idea giving those keys to my now very confident and assertive Wife. So I ask my question again. Are you having fun? Or are you are miserable or in pain, distressed or struggling to cope? Even when I was having major issues with my transition to being a happy submissive husband I was still at the core of all of it having fun. If it isn't fun why are you doing it? One answer is obviously that maybe you hope at some point it becomes fun or at least easier. For others there is a feeling that things would be better if they could get to grips with being chaste and if they could just convince their SO the same thing. Another could be that maybe you feel this is how you are supposed to feel being chaste. One I am absolutely sure of is it is because this is not a game for some but a commitment and a definite way of life. It is who they are to the very core of their being. I love the Mansion and it's mad mixture of a thousand and one stories of chastity. I love the people I interact with and know that I would not be having as good a time with my Wife as I am without that interaction. Because of that I don't like seeing people abuse the other members of this forum. Generally I keep quiet as it appears that even if someone looks to me like they are being abused I do not feel like it is my place to comment. After all the very fact that there are no rules in chastity apart from the ones you write yourself means that what I see as abuse could very well be fun for someone else. This has been a friendly musing on the deeper implications of chastity from someone who is certainly not an expert on this and wonders what others think.
I'd say I'm having fun with it and my Mistress/Wife certainly is too.It does take work from both people though. We have our ups and downs and I think it's us just getting comfortable with each other as D/s. We had a bit of a set back a few weeks ago and my moodiness got the best of me. I was ready to throw in the towel but Mistress said she wanted to continue and work on what was missing. Since then she has really become more demanding, and adventurous. I think part of what she needed was just help on what to do and how to live it 24/7/365. She's reading a lot more on the chastity/femdom topics and I've seen a huge change in her behavior. We are at a point where I don't see how we could ever turn back and live a traditional vanilla relationship again.
Isn't it funny how our Mistress being more demanding makes us more happy? I know that it took my Wife a while to work out that I really did mean that doing non sexual things for her made me happy. The point is that if she is more relaxed and happy then she is more happy to let me pleasure her sexually. Then it took her another period to work out that I really did mean I was happy pleasuring her with no reciprocation expected. If anything I was happier when there was absolutely no chance of reciprocation. I am not surprised though that you had a moody period. Getting your head around the D/s dynamic of our relationship has certainly messed with my head on a regular basis and that was partly down to my perception that we were progressing incredibly slowly. Now I have become more relaxed myself and much more trusting I too am much happier.
There is no question we are both having lots of fun with it. I never thought I would like it this much and she is really getting into it! Also besides the great sex, it is bringing us so much closer together as a couple, that's the main reason I wanted to try chastty. She got me a card over the weekend, a mushy one, now to many that wouldn't be a big deal but she is NOT a card person! I was blown away...lol
I have been married to my Wife for 26 years and both of us are totally surprised about how much this has brought us closer together. We always loved each other but the intensity and depth of our love has definitely increased over the past few months. My Wife is now totally convinced this is how we will continue to live as she feels I have now made her my complete focus and she feels sexier and more adventurous as a result.
Ohhh I am having so much fun. I am just annoyed I didn't find this world sooner, there is so much I still need to do, so many tortures to put my wonderful chaste males through. So many mind games to be played and a whole lot of being spoiled and pampered and being made to feel the most special person in the world. Oh hell yeah, I am having tons of fun
I am totally with you in that one @Mistress Jules ! I am in my very late 40s and wish I had discovered chastity at least ten years ago if not closer to 20. In fact I think 16 years ago would have been good as that is when I think my Wife would have been confident enough to be a good Mistress. That is when she really started being more confident in her work life as she was promoted in her job several times. This confidence has definitely translated into her being much more assertive with me in our intimate moments. From my perspective it takes me at least three weeks before I am nicely fizzing and get the real benefits of tease and denial. When my equipment filled up a bit quicker I would have got to that stage much much sooner. Sharing fantasies with my Wife I recently told her that I fantasized that she locked me up when she agreed to be my Girlfriend and didn't let me out until we were married three years later. We met when I was 19! I would have been ready to explode if that had happened!
I have a blast with it, and I think Thatgirl does too. In fact how much she's enjoying it, and is into it, is almost always at the forefront of my thinking. We discovered chastity together, and took the plunge together. I have no expectations of her being "super Dom" - as long as she's getting exactly what she wants, when she wants, I don't see how we can go wrong
To be honest I don't think I would have had anything to do with chastity in my younger years. I've always been the alpha and when young I would have never allowed myself to be put in that position. As I've grown older, matured and have a bit less testosterone, what's important in my relationship has changed. I have become much less selfish and wanting to please her more, when she locked me back up Sunday night after some play, she commented on how I was willing to be locked up. I told her I was, that it pleased me to have our relationship improve and if this is what it takes I'm all for it. When I reminded her that our "test" timeline ends in about another month, she informed me that the test is over, forget about that date, this is the way it is! I am fine with that, we're having a blast!
That is different to me. We have been married 26 years and my Wife has always been the boss. We were in an FLR without even realizing it. I'm not naturally submissive to everyone but I have always been the junior partner in our relationship. My Wife does respect my opinion but if she disagrees with it she will always do what she feels best. The best thing is every single one of our friends and family know that this is the balance of our marriage and I am completely fine with that. I have had a few snide comments but most people just remark how lovely our relationship is.
I do have a bunch of fantasies! But I also have a bunch of things that my girlfriend has already tried out with me. Some of the things are currently just fantasies mostly because they require some financial investment. So I would love to be locked into a metal belt. However I am a bit worried about fertility, therefore I would want to wait a couple years until I had kids before starting serious chastity play. (I'm just in my mid-twenties.) Although I am not sure how all this changes once one has a couple kids around the house. Then I would like to spend a full weekend doing pony play with her. This would require a suitable private location and a bit more pony gear. We do have had some fun at home though. And the relationship is really awesome and she does cater to my fetishes occasionally. So this week I went out and bought some fishnet stockins for her because I really find those arousing. In combination with strict leather it makes her the playful mistress which I find a really nice combination of encouragement (to get aroused) and denial (not being allowed to touch without permission). I was already in bed when she came into the bedroom. She asked me whether she should try on the stockins before going to bed. I encouraged her to do so, otherwise I would have to get another size. They did fit and it looks very nice. To my surprise she went to the drawer with the leather clothes and put on her shorts. After posing a bit in front of the mirror she sat down on my face and started masturbating me with her hands. I was not allowed to say anything but kiss her leather clad ass. In our relationship I seem to make most decisions. However I sometimes literally long for being locked up by her. I have the feeling that we could find a good balance between everyday decisions and her being in control of my sex. The deep friendship and trust as a foundation will probably carry us a long way.
We've both discussed it, and both can't imagine quitting this. That's when I knew it was time to schedule a piercing(so nervous). We talk openly about sex and feelings and even opened me up to talk about routine stuff...I'm not much of a communication person. I'm pretty lucky, she really puts in the time and effort to keep me in constant fuzzyland. She went from missionary and occasional head to cages, toys, paddles, teasing sessions, wearing my key, talking about her cock and embraced the whole idea very well. Just the other day she gave me 43 bday spankings with a 4 inch plug up my ass, and tried to give me a ruined orgasm. We have both enjoyed this so much, she has even told me that she has never been happier. Either have I.
I too wish I had found this lifestyle many, many years ago! I am on the other side of the equation though, being the submissive to my wonderful Keyholder wife.
Good for u I'm in the slow progress that u just went through!!! It's frustrating; but I'm glad my wife is at least trying.
We are just over 3 weeks into this round of chastity (our longest so far) Yesterday I asked to be let out as the novelty had worn off. The old version of my KH would have unlocked me, but the new version said 'you've been on about this for so long and sent me all those links, it's staying on and that's the end of it'. The more she gets into it, the more I enjoy it. Hopefully she will get more and more into taking advantage of both of our positions and we'll get into a serious FLR. On the whole, I am having some fun.
Thank you @AlanThom For the record my Wife and I are still having a lot of fun. Not everything has been easy for the past few months. Elle has had two significant periods of illness since I wrote the original post, but we are out the other side of that and the fun has started to ramp up again. I am pleased to say that during those hard, quiet months, I never lost sight of what we are doing and why we are doing it. And Elle noticed that I remained committed to her despite the lack of any chastity themed play, and I am being rewarded for it now.
Thanks @AlanThom. Just last night Elle was saying how that she is finally getting back to her full self just these last few days. Yesterday was the first day she walked up the stairs to her office instead of getting the lift. That's such a relief to hear, I was so worried about her.
I just want to write an answer to the op: YES!!!! Haha! @Jasmic68 this post is epic! I also want to echo others and wish you and your wife well!! And thanks!!
We just passed year four of my 24/7 lockup. This year I am supposed to get 8-12 orgasm a year but my wife can take me as long as she wants without an orgasm. We tried to take a break but it only lasted two months because our sex life was getting boring again. We are 65 and have gone through all the fetishes we found in Fetlife and some that they did not list. Our situation is unique. My wife is bi with a leaning towards women. She stopped any kind of penetration about 20+ years ago and is not a fan of penises other than to tease or torture. Add the fact that I have a small penis (1 1/4" cage), am sterile and have ED that Viagra does not fix half the time and my wife has a real reason to keep me locked up. One truly useless penis (she only cums with her vibrator) with a wife who would be fine if I never had an orgasm, and we have taken what was a bad situation and made it into a fun fetish which we both enjoy.
And thank you! Today is my one year anniversary of getting the Holy Trainer in the post, and my life really changed as soon as I put it on. The 'oh, it fits! and is comfortable!' moment happened and we haven't looked back. For the record my chastity continues to evolve, continues to be something that has helped Elle and I through all sorts of pain and heartache. I would estimate that at least a quarter to maybe even a third of this year has been 'lost' due to illness and travel, and some of the rubbish that real life has thrown at us has been truly epic. It has been amazing to realise that somehow my chastity has made all of that so much easier for both of us. @Vinny I absolutely love reading your stories and advice. The way you and your wife have used chastity is exemplary. So many men would never have put up with the idea of 'putting up' with the things that you do and have done, yet to me your experiences sound quite incredible. I also cannot imagine that many doctors would prescribe using a chastity device as a 'fix' for ED, but maybe they should!