How to fully "come out of the closet"?

I saw some related YouTube videos by Therapist Dr Gabrielle Hofff from San Francisco. Might be relevant.

 

Well the bottom line is you can't control what other people think, so no matter how gently or skillfully the topic is presented, people will always have their opinions. This topic is too complicated to easily explain to someone totally vanilla.

Like anything else, the best way is to show your relationship in small doses, with stuff that is currently acceptable in society (open relationships, devoted husband, househusband, etc) one an initial frame of reference is established (psychological anchoring) you can add the next level. For example, if you can get your family / friends to accept open relationships, then it's not much of a stretch to show that your hubbie/bf doesn't take advantage of his side of the "open bit" because you both like it that way. Then orgasm denial, etc.

 

I'd have thought the most natural way into a FLR that your family and friends might accept easily would be if you were the major earner of your household to the extent that it would only be natural that your partner play a supporting role.

If that isn't for you then you will need to find someone so truly subservient that it seems to all others only natural that you lead.

Both of which are completely possible, but it may take time and in the case of the former some aptitude, and in the latter some luck.

Keep searching and you'll get there.

 

No doubt, FLRs and male chastity are growing in popularity and will become mainstream soon. It's not just submissive men clamoring for it, the more women hear about the benefits from their friends, the more they'll push for and insist on it within their own relationships. Pretty soon, submissive or not, men will just have to accept it as a requirement for being in a relationship with a woman.

 

Hi

I am not sure what the problem is.
Unless you propose to have your slave on a collar and lead 24/7 and with any other indications of his status . Ie on all fours all the time naked ect ect .
How is your family going to know he is any thing other that a rather attentive boyfriend? So he fetches and carries more that is usual and never answers back , Some guys are like that . Are some women bossy and assertive of course look at any matriarchal society.
OK i can't speak for your mum if she pops in to find him cleaning the bathrooms naked. OMG to excuse me I need a wee Hunny to just like your dad to oh lovely send him over just what I need .

However won't take much thought to have a full time slave in and out of the house with out a single person 's knowledge unless you make a point of telling them .
Xx Wendy

 

Just a question before I give my two cents.

Do you want everyone to know that he is your slave before they meet him?

 

I understand your situation. I'm not in the exact same page, but I'm there. I want every woman I interact with to know how much she can use me, who she is compared to me, and brag about her status.


About the movies. Yeah it's kinda hard to find a movie like that, if there is one.. And what the fuck, they even made another 50 shades of grey movie to be released next year...


You could talk to them about what kind of relationship you have with that person. They would probably be happy that you found a person to treat you the way you deserve to be treated. To begin with you could tell them what his place is and add that he loves it.
And as you said bringing more details after they've met him so they can adjust to the first ones.
Personally I hate when things go slow, I'd rather say how it is and deal with whatever the consequences are.

As time goes by since you said that they're pretty open-minded, they will adjust to the situation

 

Sounds to me like your waiting for the world to do the work for you. A movie?? If you want them to understand, then you'll have to make that happen. But I'll say this: You want everyone in your sphere to be cool with YOUR lifestyle. Good luck with that. It wouldn't happen if you were gay, it wouldn't happen if you liked to paint things in zebra stripes. That's life. To expect otherwise is unreasonable.

My point is, either stop worrying about what other people think and do what your gonna do how your gonna do it, or respect the fact that others have as much, or more, right to find your lifestyle distasteful, as you do to live it, and conduct yourself accordingly.

I wouldn't dream of trying to make the vanilla people in my life "understand" (you mean accept / agree with) MY alternative lifestyle. It has nothing to do with being ashamed, to the contrary, it's that I simply don't require validation from anyone but @Thatgirl. And I understand that our lifestyle is not mainstream and accept that her toting me around on a leash, though arousing, will not be well received by people - and that's okay.

We don't get to hoist unwanted personal information onto other people just so we can "brag" about the details.

 

There is film that's good and its called The Duke of Burgandy and Maid Carrie told me about it and its good.

 

Mistress, is there a family member or friend You are closest with? my advice would be to approach one person first and test it out. Ask about it. Maybe bring it up after a few drinks to ease up the tension? It doesn't have to be sexually based. You could simply state your desires for what You want in a relationship.

 

I applaud you for knowing exactly what you want, and going after it with such vigor. Not many people are honest enough with themselves to do so.
But you said, "How to make such a relationship fully accepted by the society and, mainly, by your own family?" You also stated, "I want everyone to be perfectly fine with Me having a slave. Understanding that the man I'm with permanently has a status of slave." @Thatguyontheinternet has a point when he brings up the idea that this is not likely to happen, and you may have to prepare yourself for people not being perfectly fine with it and not understanding it.

I can understand the desire to brag, like you said, "I want to be proud of My lifestyle and actually brag about My superior status in the relationship." I think if you do get the slave you want, then the bragging probably won't seem all that unusual to people. How often do you hear women say things like 'I have him wrapped around my finger?' It not really that odd to see a woman brag about being superior, or having all the power/control. Most people just write it off as joking around, no big deal, so it's not likely that it would make them uncomfortable. Maybe with time they would see it's not a joke, but by then they just accept it and don't really care.

 

I meant it in relation with "playing conspiracy games", to justify that I know the feeling of wanting others to know what's going on.

 

Ma'am, I think you're one of the brave women who will initiate this change in society. I've always felt that for this lifestyle to go mainstream, it has to come from women, not just submissive men. You are doing the right thing, living your life the way you want to live it. Just be open with everyone and if someone has a problem with it then it's their loss. You're actually doing the lifestyle a service, as many of your friends will start to want it too, even if many don't want cuckolding, and you will help them reap as many benefits as they desire along the way. You seem like a really great person, so I'm sure that things will turn out well for the most part. Best of luck!

 

MalaRara,
It appears written in the stars that you wre destined to be the Rosa Parks of true Fem Dom.
Just think: future social studies students will be required to fill in your name and date on tests!

You are the chosen one.
Salon slave

Excuse me. A wiv came into the salon yesterday and the wig dummy I will be serving as the wig dummy for the set, drying and comeout. It is during these dummy duties that I get caught up on pennance. Thankfully this is done in private.

You shall bring this out of the closet.

Your responsibility is hugh! You will likely need an agent.
Ss

 

I don't quite understand all what the man above me is saying, but I'm in agreement with him!! Lol xxx

 

there lots of things i don't know about but its best to say yes and not have bother.

 

Madame MalaRara,
i agree with one of the previous comments that stated (and i'm paraphrasing) that it's natural Dominas like Yourself who will ultimately make FLRs accepted by wider society. You know that You want and need a FLR and that You deserve a devoted submissive/slave to be attentive to Your needs 24/7. With the utmost respect, Divine Lady, i do think the rest is up to You. You are the only One who can make it happen. i feel You are over-thinking it, which is only natural given that a FLR is perhaps the ultimate committed relationship. However, if You worry what others may think about Your positive life choices (which a FLR definitely is) then You will be wondering why it never happened 20 years from now. And, honestly, nobody cares these days if a man serves drinks, prepares the meal, does the dishes, it's what an intelligent cognisant male does for his Lady in the 21st Century.

One thing i wasn't clear about: Do You have a submissive/slave in servitude already? If not, You have sufficient self-belief in Your exquisite Dominance so embrace Your Feminine Power and they will begin reaching out to You.

Enjoy Your FLR and the attentions of Your slave, Divine Lady.

 

It basically comes down to whether you're strong enough to handle the judgement and criticism from your family, his family and your friends that you will most likely endure in pursuing this type of publicly open relationship.

If you are your fathers little princess like you say, he mainly just wants you to be happy in life. He will probably find your relationship with your slave somewhat awkward in the beginning but if you and your slave are persistent in making your relationship work then eventually others will come to accept it. If your slave is willing to do all the chores, meals etc... He might just be seen more as very well mannered and totally in love with you to show that kind of devotion to you. You'd probably be better off toning back the domme/sub "talk" in front of your family just so things don't become awkward with your family. However there's nothing wrong with being more stern with him when it's time for him to serve you all dinner or clean up. Whenever my mistress has her friends (family as well) over I'm always overly polite, cook them dinner, serve it to them and then clean up. I also serve them dessert, coffee etc... They just think I'm a really nice guy and none the wiser that I'm locked in chastity and am my mistresses slave. Now she is not super hardcore with me but we have a happy medium that works for us.

Now my mistress and I don't cuckold so I can't offer any advice there. But this is where you might run into issues with your family. They might wonder why such a nice guy who is willing to bend over backwards for you sticks around while you go out with other guys. You might just have to come clean about having an open relationship with your slave and your family will just have to accept that. If this is what you really want then you should strive for this but just remember things might be awkward with your family until they get use to your lifestyle.

 

The real question that people aren't asking here is does MalaRara have a slave yet? Cause If not, I would gladly apply for the position!