What does chastity mean for you? (version for submissive)

I think my story is pretty typical. The wife and I were having intimacy issues for years. We would have sex occassinally but sometimes it was like 3 months inbetween! So I happen to stumble onto a video of a guy wearing a chastity device. It intrigued me, so I researched it. After playing with it for almost two years and self locking I decided to tell her. She was interested but only because she didnt like my masturbation. She had no idea that my masturbation kept me from seeking her out. Though now with plenty of hind sight I can see that she just has a low libido and we still rarely have sex lol. She is not very dominant and probably a submissive I would say. She can easily be suckered into letting me out most times(puppy dog eyes) even though I actually like long term lock ups. So my favorite part of chastity is the constant horniness. The main advantage is that I am ready and willing when she is eventually in the mood for sex. We do not currently partake in any other aspects of chastity.

 

Chastity is still very new to me and my Wife. She is my keyholder and we are still finding out what it really means to us. She has started to take over the direction this goes in and that makes me really happy. I was always the junior partner in the marriage, she makes all the major decisions and so on, so the idea of moving into a more formal FLR with chastity has been relatively easy for me to take.

The best thing about Chastity? I get to please my Wife as often as She likes, and now the pressure to reciprocate has been removed she is getting quite demanding! Before she would hardly ever ask me to do anything, just a few months in and she is having full body massages with cunnilingus and analingus at least a few times a week.

On another level has been learning that chastity is 99% about what goes on away from our sexual relationship. It is all about making her happy in other ways. We are connecting on a fundamentally more emotional level than before, and we have been married 25 years. We spend every minute of our spare time together and I am loving it.

In a funny way my chastity device is a much more potent symbol of my love for my Wife than my wedding ring ever was. I honestly wish I had started this a long time ago.

 

Hello.
1) I practice chastity with my Wife/Mistress/Keyholder and have been doing so for close to 11 years...the last 4 years steadily and done HER way.
2) My favorite part of chastity is the way it always connects me to my Wife/Mistress/Keyholder...every time I see or feel the device locked upon me I think of her.
3) From my perspective I see the main advantage of chastity being that it keeps me from being triggered by erotic/sexual images that pass before me in everyday life which would lead me to masturbate and thereby completely at the mercy of my Wife/Mistress/Keyholder for some form of sexual gratification (no orgasms tho, mind you). To a lesser extent think that enforced chastity holds boundless powers to extract any desired behavior a keyholder might want IF the keyholder is engaged and empowered and keeps fanning the erotic flames to "experiment" with how much effect certain types of activities will influence a submissive such as myself.
3). I think I have pretty much evolved into a try-sexual as a result of being kept in chastity. I do enjoy femdom & light crossdressing and I think I would pretty much do anything my Wife/Mistress/Keyholder would suggest...my wish remains for her to be more proactive and engaged.

Beside the fact that my Wife/Mistress/Keyholder tends to be passive and not very engaged (but SLOWLY improving or "getting it"), the most frustrating part of chastity is the inability to achieve a nice, throbbing erection. It goes like this: Something arouses me, say having my nipples sucked---I feel the familiar warming in my scrotum and that tightening feeling deep within me--most likely my prostate coming to attention---then I feel my penis begin to stir and almost instantly stop as it quickly meets the confines of my cage. I feel a mild pressure in the cage and my pubococageal muscles and anal sphincter go aflutter...if the stimulation continues I find myself gyrating and rolling my hips uselessly as the erection attempt deflates and I feel the fullness in my urethra which makes me feel like I need to pee when it is only precum slowly flowing out of my deflated penis. Oh to have a raging hard on and just give it a squeeze...instead I ache to insert something in my ass to reach my prostate and soothe it since my penis is kept from me...now if that is not frustrating and a bit humiliating I don't know what is!

allaboutHer

 

My favorite part is being forced to abstain from masturbation and remain horny while my wife and the world around me continuously remind me of my predicament. It's that loss of control and being bossed around and totally owned sexually that I find very appealing. I'm also finding my ever growing sense of respect and admiration for women's beauty to be another added benefit that is desirable.

The main advantage or benefit to chastity is that it causes me to so dependent on my wife. I'm normally a very independent person with a lot of responsibilities at work and home. I'm not used to someone, especially a woman, taking away my ejaculation and masturbation freedoms, which I view as one of the quintessential things that make me feel manly. I was raised to believe women are the weaker sex, so to be at such mercy to a woman is very intoxicating. Male chastity has forced me to see women in a totally new light. Now when me and my wife's are at the mall, she'll point out pretty women and their makeup, hair, clothing, and I'm starting to see those things too; whereas, before, all I would see is a sexual fantasy, but now that I can't even get erect, I see a sexy, beautiful, well groomed woman instead. My wife benefits because I literally worship the ground she walks in when I'be been chaste for a while, especially after a teasing session.

The only additional thing I enjoy beyond male chastity and orgasm denial are some of the femdom practices, like cock teasing, cbt like ball spanking for whining about chastity, bondage, tickle torture, forced cunnilingus. I like the idea of being in a complete and total FLR, where I stay home locked in chastity while she goes to work her big managerial job, controls all the money, and makes all the decisions, but real life often gets in the way of being able to fully implement that scenario. What I want is not a fantasy or game, I want it to be for real, I want to reach a point where if I ever legitimately want out of the lifestyle that I wouldn't be able to because my wife won't let me and has things she can blackmail me with to keep me from ever changing my mind. Again, there's what we want and what we can realistically have and somewhere in the middle is what we ended up with so far.

 

Hello all this is one a few first posts here, the device I am in is a cb6000, same as my display picture , I currently self lock using a timed safe device, which i can set to a maximum of ten days, at the moment its locked for 5 days and I'm 1 and a half days through it. I came across being in chastity online and the idea grabbed me I wanted it, i researched and wanted the lifestyle, a keyholder in charge of any erection or orgasm I would have, my personal record is 14 days but would love to find more friends and a keyholder to really live the lifestyle. Other aspects I enjoy are bondage, being made to dress up, in pantyhose heels and I own a maids outfit which is another fantasy, thats it for now and my first post, sorry if its a bit long.

 

We are brand new to this, so my answers are from first impressions, and aren't expert opinions by any means.

My wife is the keyholder, it's a cb6000s, which from reading the forums seems to be the typical starter model. Rather like cars, when you buy one you immediately want to trade up, but we have to get our money's worth out of this one first. Before we started we talked things through, but the final decision is always, from now on, that of the keyholder. As we have started gently, 4-7 days locked, 1-3 unlocked we have agreed that locked periods can only increase and unlocked reduced in future.

I have 3 favourite parts (I hope I am allowed 3!). The physical feeling of being in a cage and unable to touch myself is one, being teased and edged another. The third is giving control of my body away to someone I love.

The main benefit is I seem to be more aware of what my wife wants me to do. Most of it is boring domestic stuff, but also what satisfies her sexually, sex is now primarily for her satisfaction, and occasionally it suits her to satisfy me.

So far there aren't any additional aspects, and as we don't wear underwear it's unlikely there will be any sissyfication etc. However, we will no doubt find other aspects as time goes on.

 

i did not cast a vote as none really fit the situation.

i am on Verbal command to not "take matters into my own hands", but am not kept caged/locked. Mistress Wolf does not care for me being locked, but permits it on occasion. i would love to be semi-permanently locked, let out only to serve Her needs, but that is not what She wants.

Even without being locked we have spent the last three years converting from a MLR to a true FLR with minor Dom/sub implications. The last year has been rough due to everything that has happened, but it has also pushed us farther into the relationship and helped us redefine it at the same time. Mistress Wolf is beginning to come into Her strength and power, and life is good.

 

How do you practice chastity? Alone or with someone? (see poll - note: "locked" includes cages, belts, banding, etc. Can read as any aspect of being on the receiving end of chastity)

We have been into male orgasm denial and chastity for nine years, with a gradual progression to it being the understood default position. We don't really discuss it at all, it is just the way things are. I am locked 24/7 in a JB. I recently got a considerably smaller one which doesn't allow any movement and is particularly comfortable. After a week of testing my wife asked for the keys which have disappeared to I know not where.

What is your favorite part of chastity?

PIV sex is a thing of the past since a couple of years ago. I love extended oral pussy worship which my wife allows me once or twice a week. I remain locked throughout. I love my face being covered in her juices and feeling her come several times till I'm pushed away.

From your perspective, what do you see as the main advantage or benefit of chastity?

I think I'm more even in mood due to no orgasms/masturbation. I've always been helpful around the house with chores but probably now I never need be asked. My wife has commented that our sex life since chastity is like a reversal of previously where she now gets more of the benefits and I'm pleased that she is finally getting her fair share. The constant background feeling of frustration means that *any* physical contact feels like the wooing stage of a relationship and pussy worship leaves me breathless and trembling so turned on am I.

Do you enjoy additional aspects beyond "just" being locked up? (sissification, cuckoldry, femdom, etc.)

No, the rest of our relationship is entirely vanilla.

 

@MistressPhedre
Thank you for having considered those such as me, and for taking your time to explain. I will add my vote to the poll.

WGR,
caged wolf

 

>How do you practice chastity? Alone or with someone? (see poll - note: "locked" includes cages, belts, banding, etc. Can read as any aspect >of being on the receiving end of chastity)
KH is my wife. Locked 24/7. Let out for unprotected PIV sex, not allowed to cum however.

>What is your favorite part of chastity?
I am always horny and ready for sex.

>From your perspective, what do you see as the main advantage or benefit of chastity?
It stops me masturbating and wasting my sexual energy.

>Do you enjoy additional aspects beyond "just" being locked up?
ball squeezing/ballbusting.

 

How do you practice chastity? Alone or with someone?

With my live-in girlfriend. I'm locked 24/7 for at least 30 days at a time.

What is your favorite part of chastity?

How it puts her needs and desires ahead of my own. Surrendering total control of my ability to have an orgasm to my girl friend and for her to use my horny condition to her advantage.

From your perspective, what do you see as the main advantage or benefit of chastity?

I used to masturbate often and it was effecting our relationship, but chastity has saved it. I am much more attentive and loving toward my g/f. She loves the extra attention and I love to worship the ground she walks on.

Do you enjoy additional aspects beyond "just" being locked up? (sissification, cuckoldry, femdom, etc.)

We are now in a mild FLR and I am encouraging her to take more control. She's submissive by nature and at first it was tough for her to take control, but now she is seeing the benefits and enjoying her new role.

 

I didn't answer about any additional aspects when I replied on December 14. At that time my Wife had not dropped the bombshell that she wanted me to wear women's clothes. We are going out later this morning to buy some, the first I will get apart from a pair of tights. This is going to start slow while I lose weight but when I reach my first target of getting rid of 10kg she is getting me some lingerie.

So now one of the aspects I love is how my Wife has taken control and is doing things that please her. This was not something I suggested to her at all, it is 100% her idea.

 

Stayed away for a little while after my initial posting as it seems I stepped on a few toes unintentionally. I want to thank you"MisstressPhedre" for continuing my post in a better way than I did. What I have read in this post is exactly what I was talking about. The positives real people are experiencing with chastity for whatever reason they got into it.

So now on to our story.

It started with excitement, then love then marriage and a very close relationship. Then came careers, kids and everything else life throws at you and we slowly started growing further apart. Next was becoming empty nesters with nothing in common any more. Intimacy and sex, but more importantly, companionship, friendship, excitement and love was gone. We were just two people living under the same roof. We were both lonely and miserable and neither knew how to fix it.

My sex life was reduced to masturbation. Mostly while surfing porn and I was getting sick and tired of it. It wasn't fun any more. My wife lost all interest and could have gone the rest of her life without it and would have never missed it. She knew I was masturbating to porn and could have cared less as long as I left her alone.

I happened upon chastity by accident while surfing tumblr and it intrigued me. I started researching everything I could about it then finally bought a CB6000. When I got it, I put it on right away and wore it off and on for almost a month before my wife finally noticed it. She was put off for sure but I told her I was going to wear it if I wanted to as I am not hurting anyone. The longer I wore it the more I was noticing a change in my behaviour especially with no masturbation. I also starting noticing my wife more and starting spending a little more time with her. You know, talking and listening. She started noticing a change in me also. While laying in bed one night, she reached over and started to fondle the cage. She hadn't reached for me for as long as I could remember. Then started asking questions which I answered as best I could. She seemed intrigued that There was no way I could masturbate with it locked on.Over time, she started getting a little more intimate with a little kissing and hugging without worrying about vaginal penetration which was always uncomfortable for her.

Then she asked me for for the keys and life has never been the same since. I can't stress how wonderful our lives are today. We have gone from nothing in common any more to a lifestyle that has me on permanent orgasm denial. Although I am super horny damn near 24/7, my wife is also although in a different way, that's just a side benefit to the life we are living.

Our chastity lifestyle is basically vanilla I guess, but it has become smoking hot. There isn't a predominant dom/sub type of relationship. She controls my penis but not our sex life if that makes sense to anyone. As long as my penis isn't involved, I can initiate sex as freely a she can. She has become quite the active sex partner who can tease and deny with the best of them. She always seems to come up with more shocking and surprising ways to increase my level of arousal. Just when I think I couldn't possibly ache as I do on a daily basis, she seems to find a way to make the ache more intense. We also have opened up completely about our sex lives including fantasies, perversions and so on, which is something that never was discussed before.

The best part now is "us". I get so excited to see her every day, wake up to her smile in the morning, watch her with the grand kids and so on. She has a look of excitement in her eyes again. That spring in her step. We do all kinds of things together again. We are taking weekend getaways or having date nights. Just all kinds of stuff. We are best friends again.

But my favorite part is spending time in each others arms and just feeling our compassion without ever speaking a word.

That's what chastity means to us.

Couldn't agree more!

 

@chastingfun You have made sooooo much more sense with that post than the way you wrote last time! It comes across much better about how you were living and how you used chastity to save a marriage. To be honest I actually find the way you put the device on and allowed your Wife to take her time coming to understand the benefits inspirational. So many men rush into demanding that their partners be their keyholder and just scare them off.

My Wife and I are best friends as well. It is a wonderful feeling.

 

For now chastity is only a fantasy, although we talked about that... She's just scared i'm "too compressed" into my chinese cb6000s.
She's at work right now, I was thinking it could be good to start this new year with a proposal, or something like that.
She's quite dominant, but not really interested into chastity, and have a quite low libido (for me at least ).

What is your favorite part of chastity?
I tend to focus only on myself, so I masturbate quite a lot, but when we have sex She's my priority. I just want to give her my best. I think I love the feeling of giving up of my role of dominant male (I think i'm a switch) to Her, and satisfy her every desires.

From your perspective, what do you see as the main advantage or benefit of chastity?
I spend too much time watching porn and masturbating, so it's a chance to get a lot more free time and focus on the "family" (no, i'm not married and have no sons, yet...). Maybe behaviour modification for the better. I recently started getting fit for Her, cause she likes my "muscles" when i'm nude.

Do you enjoy additional aspects beyond "just" being locked up? (sissification, cuckoldry, femdom, etc.)
I quite like femdom, like a form of being dominated by my girl, and it includes facesitting, She ordering me, She controlling me, calling her "Padrona", but only in a bedroom contest. Not tried pegging or similar, but I'm curious.

 

How do you practice chastity?
I lock myself up. The key is at my parent's house, which is a bit more than an hour away from my place. But I'm looking for a key holder now.

What is your favorite part of chastity?
I love the feeling of attempted erections. But mostly it really enhances the pleasure I receive anally. I've discovered many great things about my body through penile chastity.

From your perspective, what do you see as the main advantage or benefit of chastity?
Chastity makes me more submissive and it helped me to actually go out and live some of my sexual fantasies. Without chastity I would've never actually become a sissy, just someone who likes to think about it and when I cum, I'd forget about it. As an example, before chastity, I would also never have thought that I'd ever have sex with men. I really think that chastity is the key to overcome fears and shame, when it comes to sexual fetishes which aren't really "main stream".

Do you enjoy additional aspects beyond "just" being locked up? (sissification, cuckoldry, femdom, etc.)
Like I said, sissification is just awesome.

 

How do you practice chastity? Alone or with someone? (see poll - note: "locked" includes cages, belts, banding, etc. Can read as any aspect of being on the receiving end of chastity)
I asked my Wife a while back if we could try chastity out. We started with a cb6000, and as Her interest for my chastity developed, she demanded we get a more secure device, and that I get a PA piercing. We now use a 18a from Ms. Lori. The whole notion of 'Be careful what you wish for' rings very true for me. She has always been dominant, but that dominance only moved into our sex life post chastity, and I am pretty sure She loves it and will never look back. We've developed a much more serious outlook on chastity over time, and I can say it is one of the best investments we've made as a couple.
What is your favorite part of chastity?
My favorite part is how it has made me appreciate her more. That, and she has control, which completely turns me on and allows me to show my true submissive nature.
From your perspective, what do you see as the main advantage or benefit of chastity?
The main advantage has been adopting the FLR lifestyle. I am kept, and therefore always in need of her, no matter how crazy things get. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Do you enjoy additional aspects beyond "just" being locked up? (sissification, cuckoldry, femdom, etc.)
Femdom has been a exciting and ever developing aspect that I hadn't really anticipated. She continuously reminds me of my place and we have had a lot of fun with BDSM. I fully admit that when I first asked her to keep me in chastity it was so I had an excuse to show her my sissy side. Yet again, the "be careful what you wish for" aspect plays true here also. She not only picked up on my sissy desires, she actively cultivates them for her amusement. At times the humiliation has been more than I bargained for, but overall I love it, and am a very lucky chastised sissy. We have kept our sex life between us mainly, but she has told a few of her friends who from what I hear consider her lucky, but probably would be too embarrassed to ever talk to me about it. Cuckoldry is very unlikely, but I suppose is beyond my ability to decide about.

 

It's terrific how serious your wife got about chastity, evident by the fact that she demanded you get a PA piercing and secure device. Just out of curiosity, what drove her to do that? Were you caught pulling out? How did she learn about piercings and secure devices? What was the adjustment like for you mentally in knowing you can pull out anytime to now having absolutely no hope of escape and how did she change as a result of knowing this as well. Also, how long does she typically keep you without orgasm, weeks, months? Sorry for all the questions, I just became really intrigued by your experience and would love to know more.

 

I'm glad to answer your questions, and I agree it is terrific! To make a long story short, she did catch me defeating the cb6000 -when I was in the shower. We already knew about the cb5000, but she wanted something made of metal, or rather, something more threatening. Once she learned how easy it was for me to pull out of th cb6000, needless to say but, she was not happy. We did some research and once we found Ms. Lori's site, it was pretty much a done deal. The power exchange in having a more secure device was intoxicating for both of us. At first, I was a bit manic, and she would say things like 'what, are you a sissy?' followed by 'silly me, I forgot, yes, yes you are'... the first few months of wearing the new device were intense. There was a lot of adjustment, both mentally and physically, to the device as well. Which I might add has been a nice perk of getting a Lori device since she is willing to make modifications. If I am lucky, I am allowed out, fully restrained, maybe on average once or twice a month. I did have a few months with it off last year due to an injury, at which time things in our sex life came to a stand still. Since getting the PA, chastity has not been a game at all and is part of our lifestyle.

 

My wife is my KH/mistress and I've been locked 24/7 since May 2015. My favorite part of chastity is that only my mistress has control over my orgasms. I was a chronic masturbator until I confessed this to my wife and she agreed that I should be locked up. I love the feeling of control she has over me now. We've always had a great see life but this really was a game changer for both of us and she loves being in charge. I don't think this up my mistresses ally but I have had long deep rooted fantasies about being a sissymaid to my mistress in full sissy gear. I have no idea if we'll ever go down that road but I'm happy to be her chaste boy.

 

How do you practice chastity? I'm my own keyholder and wear a cage 24/7. The keys are kept out of reach. I try to stay without an orgasm for longer and longer periods.
What is your favourite part of chastity? I love being horny... the attempted erections against the steel, the leaking, the feeling of being so close to an orgasm but never getting there. It's so much better than an orgasm itself.
What is the main advantage of chastity? The main advantage is that it teaches self-control and strength. In today's world, we're conditioned to think that we can get just about anything in a second. Chastity requires good old traditional values: patience, dedication and an iron will to get there.
Do you enjoy additional aspects beyond being locked up? Chastity amplifies my desires. When I want to crossdress, chastity helps me do it the best I can, no emberassment or excuses.

 

Since I really didn't answer these questions in my original post...

How do you practice chastity? Alone or with someone? (see poll - note: "locked" includes cages, belts, banding, etc. Can read as any aspect of being on the receiving end of chastity)
I am kept by my beautiful and loving wife Mistress Wolf, under verbal orders to not take matters into my own hands, so to speak. In a Jailbird occasionally, but 99% of the time not.

What is your favorite part of chastity?
the feeling of being controlled, and the desire to serve that results from it.

From your perspective, what do you see as the main advantage or benefit of chastity?
The way it has helped me learn about myself and my emotion, the way it has allowed us to tear down and rebuild our relationship into a fortress, and taught me humility and servitude.

Do you enjoy additional aspects beyond "just" being locked up? (sissification, cuckoldry, femdom, etc.)
Our relationship is FLR with some D/s thrown in, there has been some cuckoldry and She is currently seeking a long term man-friend to join us. I will admit to a desire to be lightly feminized, i love lingerie, etc, but Mistress Wolf chooses to deny me that route.

Feel free to elaborate as much as you want, but do limit your response to YOUR experience and preferences. No generalizations of "all males" or "all subs."[/QUOTE]