My Journey as Mistress Wolf

So very disappointed.....

 

We will look at this as a learning experience. Don't do that again.

 

A new day a new outlook. Caged listened while I talked to him about what he did wrong. We will not share the exact details, because I believe those things should be kept private.

That being said as I was getting ready for school this morning I was feeling a little naughty and put on the shirt I wore to out social club last week. I took a picture wearing the shirt with no bra. Then I told my gentleman friend I had taken the picture. After he asked I sent it to him. He said he really likes the shirt, and that he wants me "very bad!!"

I told him I would wear it to our first meeting, but I would wear a bra. He said he wouldn't care what I wore, he still wants me.

I am hoping that the chemistry between my gentleman friend and I works out in person and isn't just online chemistry. I really like this gentleman and am glad I met him virtually. He fits the criteria I wrote out 6 months ago for our third.

I must say now that I've met him, I'm glad the others that I've met and talked to didn't work out. I'm glad that I "waited" for him.

 

Minor Correction: The text from my gentleman friend read "So bad!!" no "very bad!!"

I should have double-checked the wording before I posted.

 

Today has been a great day!

I was texting with the gentleman friend this morning (he was home sick with pneumonia) when he asked if he could call me. I agreed and we spent a pleasant 10 minutes talking on the phone. He has a very sexy voice. He texted after our conversation ended and told me he now has an actual voice to go with his dirty imagination.

We are tentatively talking about getting our first meeting done next week, when he feels better. I am hoping for somewhere public for the first meeting. (Caged suggested if things go well at a local place we can invite him to our house for more personal questions.)

During lunch today I felt rather naughty and sent the gentleman friend two pictures, one of Caged and I at a Halloween party last year and another of me topless (taken five years ago). I'm a little worried I haven't heard back from him yet. (Although he may have looked at the pictures and decided to "stroke one out" which is what he told me he did after looking at the other two pictures I sent him.

What if he doesn't like the topless picture? (I was 20 pounds heavier in that one and my chin looks bad....)

 

UPDATE: I got a text message from the gentleman friend. He thoroughly enjoyed the pictures I sent to him.

Some of the things he told me shocked me. I had never heard anyone I had been attracted to say those things to me, usually it was only the pervert/creepy guys who would say them. (I'm not sharing what he said, many of them made me blush and my panties got damp)

I will explain that when I was growing up I dealt with the usual "I like him, but he doesn't like me that way. OR I like him, but he just wants to be friends. And the third option: He likes me, but I don't like him." It got to the point for a while during our search I'd began to lose hope that I could find someone who met my criteria. (There were a few who met the criteria, but were either creepy when I saw a current face picture of them, or they didn't want to wait to form a relationship before having sex.)

Years ago when Caged and I first started looking for play partners we only had one-nighters. I realized those types of guys weren't fulfilling something that I wanted. Then I came to realize I didn't like those types of relationships anymore and I wanted a more permanent form of relationship.

It has been a hell of a journey so far and I hope this one is around for the long haul.

 

I haven't heard from my gentleman friend this weekend, I'm a little disappointed and a little worried (he did say he was sick).

On the bright side: yesterday morning I woke a little early and let my mind wander. I used the time to create the fantasy of what it would be like to play with the gentleman friend for the first time. Though I didn't plan on it, he likes dirty talk. The images of the two of us were very clear in my mind yesterday morning.

I tried to bring up the images I created again to see if I could change what was said or done, but it was as if the fantasy was already set. (the images weren't as clear)

This is also the first time I've been able to have a complete fantasy scene play out in my head that has been this clear before. Now I just hope I'll be able to fulfill this fantasy, it would be funny if everything went the way I imagined it!

 

Ah, the waiting game. *insert Jeopardy music*

 

And we have contact! Caged Wolf suggested I call the gentleman's phone and leave a message if he didn't answer. So I did, AND he called me right away! He said he left his phone at home. I told him I was worried and said that as a friend I was genuinely worried that I hadn't heard from him since last Friday.

I was worried that I had said or done something that bothered him and he just stopped all contact for whatever reason. Caged said he didn't think this gentleman would do something like that. He figured something was wrong with the other gentleman.

I told the gentleman friend I checked his profile page on the site we met, I checked every day and looked at the pictures he posted just to assure myself that yes, this gentleman I'm attracted to is a real person. He told me since he met me he hasn't wanted to check the site. (I got a warm fuzzy feeling) If things keep working out with this gentleman friend my search is truly, finally done. (after the other guys flaked out or weren't a good fit I was getting discouraged and ready to call the whole search off)

His health is on the mend and we have (once again) tentative plans to meet next week.

Ah my life is fun, so many ups and downs the last few weeks.

 

Just when you think she won't go away...

I was checking my email yesterday (I'd forgotten to Tuesday) when I found an email from she-who-shall-not-be-named. She told me she was moving back to her home state.

I showed the email to three of my friends, two of whom helped us with the banishing and cleansing. All three of them said she probably wanted me to beg her to stay in this state. I told one of my friends, there is no WAY I would beg her for anything!

One of my friends said "does she think if enough time has gone by you'll forgive her or something?" I told her that removing HER from our lives was probably the best decision we made this year.

I did not and will not reply to the email, after I copied what she had written I deleted the email. I know if I had replied in any way, she would take that as an invitation to resume contact and I REALLY don't want that to happen again. I think the only thing I need to do is block her email.

 

How is it possible to care about someone I have yet to meet? I am plotting a few things for the first meeting. (mwhahaha!) We'll see if they actually happen.....

I love the texting flirts we've sent to each other. I wrote up the dream I had about our first time playing together and he was aroused halfway through reading!

I'm working on a list of questions I want to ask him when we do finally meet.

I had a dream with him and Caged Wolf. In the dream the two of them were sitting at a table having coffee, and I think they were planning something for me. (for me dreams are very important. I hope the fact that I'm dreaming of him so much means he will be around for a good long while)

I swear it's times like this I wish I had a crystal ball....

 

Honestly I think if I gave up on you I'd be giving up on myself. And that's not an option. We're in this together.

 

Thank you for the kind words Caged Wolf they are greatly needed today.

 

Well damn, my intuition is broken. Caged Wolf and I went to the place we were supposed to meet with the man-friend and guess what, he never showed or texted. Of course with no contact since last Friday morning I should have seen this coming.

Who sets out to hurt someone like I've been hurt?

I'm seriously considering on giving up my search for a third. This one was damn near perfect (he met ALL of my personal requirements). One thing he had said to me was that he liked the fact that he could be real with me, he didn't need to pretend to be someone else. (what a joke)

I get so tired of all of the flakes. All of the guys who have turned out to be losers are starting to give me a complex. What am I doing wrong?

I will be posting on his profile page on the site we met on (a negative testimonial), and I might send messages to his friends and see if they met with him.

Talking with Caged Wolf while we waited we talked about what NOT to do if there is another who comes close again.

 

It has been frustrating when I would try to suggest a meeting time/place and he would drop off the Earth for at least a day and a half. I guess my intuition was telling me he was saying all the right things to lead me along.

 

After talking with Caged Wolf last night and crying (even as I type) I've come to the decision that I quit. I can't go through this anymore. I'm done searching for someone that doesn't exist. This guy was the perfect one, but for whatever reason he's stopped contacting me.

For those that are curious here is my list of the perfect third:
no children living with him; bi-sexual would be nice; be willing to move with us, or live with us; not lazy; can cook; avid reader; good at grammar; neat, but not messy; no temper; likes boating and/or motorcycles; likes dogs & not allergic; v-safe would be great; drug & disease free; good in bed; likes camping; no food allergies; in 30s would be a plus; not vegetarian or vegan; introverted would be nice (like us); not dealing with an ex-wife; not dealing with custody issues; doesn't lie.

Universe, you win.