My unexpected life

Today's Theme

It would seem that the theme for the day here on the forums is about getting the Dom(me) interested enough to participate. Caged Bunny and lauren1fem both brought up some interesting points today that made me think. I did not want to high jack their threads so I am putting my thoughts here.

This made me look back on my journey and as I was fortunate enough to have lunch with my wife/Goddess I simply asked her point blank. Does the fact that you have me in chastity turn you on? When she looked at me funny I asked Are you getting your needs met with this relationship style. She of course wanted to know my angle but those questions in those various posts got me thinking. After some elaboration she sat back and smiled. She said something that made sense. When I brought this to her I was bringing something into the relationship that she knew nothing about, found a little maybe a lot weird, and had no chance of studying up till then. I had already researched it etc. This meant she did not have the upper hand and as such she could not just jump at the excitement. As a very sexual person the next question was why would I want this. As she admitted it took building relationships with other women/key-holders first then exploring the other side. After getting through the various and yet numerous frustrations with devices fitting it was then a mutual learning curve to test the various aspects. For her she admitted to make no mistake about it she is immensely turned on by my frustration and gets aroused when she knows I can do anything about it. This I can attest to as it takes a mere few minutes for her to reach orgasm when she plays with me while I am in chastity. I takes a mere few seconds for me to beg for mercy as the device just kills me at this point. :help-0031:

I think the whole thing takes first and foremost tow people who can be open minded and listen with out criticizing in their own minds. Once this communication starts then the exploration can begin. As my Goddess pointed out there also has to be a reward for her. That for her is the change in my demeanor, characteristics, and behavior towards her. I will be the first to say I am a smart ass by nature and while I always use it in a humorous way I sometimes fail to realize that it is no funny to her. When in lock up this sense of humor has a way of changing. I do admit that I fail to understand how I can sit on the car this morning, as an example, and listen to her whisper in my ear of things she is going to do to me tonight. As she says this I can hear that familiar girlish giggle resonating in my head and I wish I could just take her home instead of watching her get out of the car and walk into her office. This same excitement is at the time causing extreme discomfort as every ounce of my imprisoned penis wants to break out. As I drive a way I think, Damn this hurts bad. Yet in the next thought I think to myself, God if she just does half of what she said...Is there such a place where heaven and hell meet here on earth? I would think there must be in these situations.

This thought process is coming to an end which is probably good as it is getting too deep in my own mind. My frustration lives on however. Only a few short days in the device, but it has been a couple of weeks now since my last good orgasm and the thoughts of Her consume me now.

 

Thanks for stopping by Mistress...Remember the key phrase in your post is YET.

quit trying so hard, just let it happen.

 

A little late in writing today but better late than never I guess. Today was a pretty simple day with the two little ones and Goddess. The start of the day was a little ruff as both the little guys decided to come running into our bedroom and decided to pounce on the parents. Would not had been a problem had the littlest guy not landed right on my most tender area. Granted I was covered by a load of covers but for some reason being in a locked condition just leaves the balls right out there or mishaps. Took a while to recover from that one.

Anyway the day went better from there but last night, well that is another story. My mouth got me in trouble once again and Goddess took two leather wrist cuffs and and quick release link and next thing I know I was cuffed laying in bed next to her so she could watch tv. The next thing that happened was her saying great idea (after I never said a thing) and she took another clasp and attached it to the cage portion at the tip of my penis, then secured the other end to the cuffs leaving me basically cuffed to myself. This would not have been a big deal except that the clasp ever so slightly kept stroking the tip of my penis with any movement. This was maddening as hell. No matter how hard I tried I could not re-focus to get my mind off of things. I was begging to be released within a few minutes. Thank goodness she at least removed the clasp at the cage. After a few more minutes she kissed me good night and it was off to sleep. Oh she had removed the cuffs at this part but the imagination was working over time.

Any way somehow I got a good nights rest and did not wake only once with a little bit of the nocturnal erection, correction attempt at an erection. After the little accident this morning I was let out for a little while. I know the little guy did not do it on purpose and we definitely take 150% care to make sure they would never know we play but there is just something about that that ruins any mood for a while. Fast forward to tonight and all is back to normal, well almost all. I am actually just sitting here with Goddess looking over my shoulder wondering what she has in store for this evening. Luckily today was a long day and I think the bed is calling her name. Which for those that do not know here she is the only person I know of that before she lays her head fully in the pillow can be out cold. You would think and sniper sits across the street at night and takes her out. It is almost hilarious. And I thought I was bad. LOL

Well enough for tonight as I am having some type of fit with my hands and can't seem to type for cr%^.

 

So true Mistress! Thank God for locks on doors. If and when we "play" we always seem to have to wait till late night and then lock the door just o make sure. I think Goddess's biggest fear is not being outed to the general public bit being outed by our kids. LOL

Not much else to say today I am afraid. I think I am at the stage where my mind is awash with confusion. While it has been over 18 days since my last release I should be ready to explode. Truth is I slept all the way through the night last night with only one bathroom break, not related to the chastity device. Now if I think of anything sexual or start getting handsy with Goddess THEN the frustration kicks in and there is a quick, brief reminder of my situation. This leaves me to wonder if mentally I am starting to accept the situation as normal? As long as Goddess just goes on like nothing is different then to me it is not different. This obviously can be disappointing but I know this is just a phase. I dare not say "bring it on I can handle it" because I know better. but in a sense that is how I feel today-just really odd.

On a very exciting note I was so happy that Goddess Started her own journal. Truly a sign of good things to come I am sure.

 

What a long weekend! I know, this is an odd way to start a journal on a Tuesday but I am just now getting back after our US holiday yesterday. I decided to spend the day with Goddess and our boys and it just seemed that three days was a long time. Don't get me wrong as I enjoyed every minute but Goddess is not letting up this time as she had in the past. Still very much secure and the good thing for me is she is not in the teasing mood. Although little things like grabbing my ass at 5AM do not help but that is about the extent of it, well except for that smack yesterday.

I had jokingly made some smart comment when she was playing with the kids in the other room. I, in the mean time, had gone into the other room and was tidying up the cushions on the couch. As I was bent over Goddess came in a laid a well placed, an probably well deserved smack to my back side. I can say she has never hit me this hard ever. I know it hurt her because she said so. Bad part it was an instant turn on for me. Even in play it gave me a taste of what I had always wondered about. Of course we could not act on anything at the time but damn I though about it all day and being locked securely in my device did not help at all.

This leads me to my first pondering moment of the week. I think I am experiencing the first real systems of aching balls. In the past I had problems obviously but this time both are equally aching and there is this odd tingling sensation that comes and goes. What was even odder it the pain was getting a little much for my tatse but I knew it was not the other problem so I did not bring it up to Goddess. Later in the evening I went to the bathroom and would have sworn (please excuse the graphics here) there was a small , very small amount of semen or something present. Almost as if the extra sitting there was expelled by the body somehow. I have no idea if this has happened to anyone else or if it was just my overactive imagination but right afterwards I felt better. Still massively horny, still a little achy but not as much discomfort. Goddess has not relented and has kept me in lock up for a while now. It is now going on 18 days since my last sexual release and I can feel the sensation of desire growing even as I type this. My longest time was 23 days so I can sense I may be well on my way to setting my longest time record.

The odd part of all of this is as the frustration grows my desire for her does as well. Not just sexually but in every way. Of course my desire for the one thing I fear grows as well. Just to touch her intimately. To kiss her passionately and yes even to service her orally all consume my thoughts when I let them. Knowing full well if I am permited to do so may mean greater frustration is wear the mind F%^& comes in I guess. I will say that since we have kind of thrown the contract out the window it is a much greater high not knowing when my next moment of freedom will come. Of course it also is a much greater emotion of selfish thoughts wondering when the next time I will get that "extra" attention I desire. Time will only tell I guess and for now I continue on into day 20 of no release. Not knowing how far she is going to take this or even if my next release from the device will equal my next sexual release. With more than a handful of tease articles at her disposal, a new found knowledge to how I respond to a good swat on the ass, and a devious mind that surfaces unpredictably I could be in for some trouble here.

 

LOL I figured as much. Thanks I needed a good laugh. If that were indeed the case we would have two Mistresses/Goddesses to deal with. :mad0025:

 

Thanks newsub4a. No hijacking implied. I appreciate yours and js advice. This was new to me as it never happened yet. I figured as much but it is nice to have a site like this where others can help advise me.

Now how to deal with that intense distracted mind that causes me so many problems. LOL If Goddess puts on those heels and lingerie, I am dead!

 

!2 hours 24 emotions! Ok so maybe not 24 but there sure was a lot last night.

The evening was pretty much the same old thing. Kids, dinner, dishes, Xbox, and Goddess on the computer. I am getting really bored with that rut. Really bored. I noticed Goddess giggling on her computer and when asked about it she said she was posting to her journal. Obviously curiosity got the best of me so I had to look. Her closing remarks just cracked me up. Leave it up to her to use my words against me. Funny thing is the minute I made that comment I knew I would here them again from her.

Problem was I that I was hopeful after reading her post but then after getting up stairs nothing. A simple good night and she rolled over. I think there were about ten seconds of what the F^&% thoughts and then another 20 or so of "this is what you asked for" thoughts which were of course followed by "yes but not to be ignored" thoughts. These obviously bring on the "OK it is not about you" thoughts. I felt like I was going crazy. I went to roll over as I was snuggling to her and she either sensed my disappointment or decided to be the Goddess she said no way and instead made sure she nestled her sweet little ass right against my cage. Of course this was followed by a few moans then I just could not help myself. I had to run my hands down her leg and round her smooth ass. My mind was racing, my pulse was going crazy, and oh yeah OUCH!!! This just increases the frustration and makes me want her more. I never fully understood what I read about a man getting relief through his partners sexual satisfaction (while in chastity) until last night. I wanted so bad to bring her to an orgasm but once again she asked me to stop and went to sleep.

While quickly approaching my longest stretch without a sexual release I can say this is already the most intense time I have endured. The constant pressure in my prostrate area is driving me insane. My balls have this constant achy feeling and they never seem to stop anymore. This in turn fuels the lust, passion, and desire for my Goddess which of course makes things worse.

While we joke about "Ass Play Sunday" it is only a joke. The most she does is run her hand across my ass or perhaps run a finger up the crack just to send me through the roof. I am not an ass play guy. It has always been more of a way for her to just get my goat so to speak. NOW, with all that has been going on I find myself thinking these very odd thoughts about that but plug, or the strap on (that we don't own) I wonder if just that would give me some relief. Oh and the spanking, HELL yes! When and were? If only...

Well you can get my point and most likely my frustration level. At this point I would kill for one night out of this device. Last night was brutal. I think I slept about three hours total. Hell harness me and tie me up please!! Just let me have a nights rest was screaming in my head all last night. This would most likely end with an orajel session to which I would say fine whatever it takes.

Well enough begging and pleading to the masses, it is time for me to take my own advice. I am taking my punishment, although not sure what I did, I am learning more about my inner sexual being than I ever knew possible, and I am moving on-getting back to work. My new plan of attack is to get engrossed in work and be as productive as possible today. Then when I get home I will do whatever I can to please Her and get busy with other chores around the house. Perhaps this work will help me focus on something besides this crazy, intense longing, that just will not subside.

 

Thanks Jimi123. I am pretty confident at this point we are not talking about any long term denial. I would assume Goddess is having a little fun this time around for a while. I would also assume (there I go assuming) that should she decide to carry this out she will use other techniques like ruined orgasms etc to make sure there are no ill side affects. I obviously would hope to get the real deal but I can see her devious little mind saying oh Hell yes to the ruined orgasm.

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts.

 

Thoughts on wet dreams...how the hell is that going to happen when the first sign of erection causes me to wake up and say ouch! LOL

 

WOW! Guys I love a good debate but I have to say I am outwitted on this one as I have no concrete information either way. I will say this even in my frequent masturbation days more than 21 a month hardly if ever happened. I was more around 7-10. Looks like I am at a disadvantage already.

Now with all that said I will go on record here and let everyone know SHE has won! I all but begged her for a release tonight. It does not mean I will get one I just want to to say she won. I think in past when she could not get me to go the length she had in mind on her terms that she lost control. For me control is getting your submissive to the point he or she admits they are at your mercy which I am today without a doubt. While she said I could use my emergency key to get out of the device before I come home I am hoping not do that as I really want her to know I am committed to her and this. She has not set the terms of the release yet (and does not need help here mikecb!) LOL

At any rate back on topic I thank all of you for your input. It is what makes this site unique.

Now this brings us ll to the obvious question. Am I perpetuating my own release in my mind? Perhaps if Goddess will at least entertain allowing me out of the device and then we can go one step t a time. In one hand I am ready to say I quit. On the other I DESPERATELY want to see what it is like to have her tease and deny me while in this state.