Full denial advice/help?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by IB-Chaste, Jul 30, 2022.

?

Where should I focus my energy?

  1. In accepting her decision

    71 vote(s)
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  2. In seeking a compromise (breaching my no discussion rule)

    11 vote(s)
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  1. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    #1 IB-Chaste, Jul 30, 2022
    So I’ve been locked up for the last 40 days. However, after what can only be described as an amazing sexual experience, my wife discussed the current arrangement. Personally, I’m happy. I’ve got what I wanted from the outset and far more. She listed many reasons that it has been beneficial in our lives; from her well-being, the household environment, interactions with our children… just about everything it seems is better this way… She talked for quite some time around the benefits before knocking me for six with a proposition:
    “If you can give me one reason it’s better for you to have an orgasm than I’ll let you”
    At the time I couldn’t give her any genuine reason.

    Always ‘following the science’ of this I did some research. I can not find one harmful side-effect, in fact I only really found positives for complete denial. She later quizzed me and I was honest around this.
    ‘I was right all along. There is no reason for that now. We have amazing sex this way’ etc.
    I agree with her points, things are better. There would be no reason not to continue this lifestyle.

    Thing is. I do miss being inside her and she’s stated she won’t let that happen without me finishing. She couldn’t control herself not to. I never anticipated at the outset this is where chastity would lead to full orgasm denial.

    Do I accept a life without a further full orgasms or PIV?

    Do I ask for a compromise on this?

    Thought as I was new to this and still not sure exactly what I want from chastity (it continues to surprise) I’d put this out there.
     
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  2. SubDee
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    SubDee Long term member

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    #2 SubDee, Jul 30, 2022
    I think you need some release.
    Agree to no more full O’s and no PIV but negotiate a monthly milking or a ruined O at the least.
    Milking, I think, is probably the better option as I feel like ruined O’s are too dangerous and could send you into a refractory period if it’s not ruined perfectly.
    Have you been milked before or ass-fucked ever?
     
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  3. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    #3 Rectrix, Jul 30, 2022
    I think you've answered your own question. Follow her lead. It's only been 40 days. You'll both learn more about improving your marriage and whether PIV is right for you as you get deeper into your development as a submissive husband.
     
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  4. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    #4 King Hippo, Jul 30, 2022
    Some things change in relationships, it happens all the time. For anyone to say this is your permanent situation for the rest of your life or marriage is absolutely absurd. It could be, but to your mind or her mind won't change in the future is crazy.

    I would go with it until you or she has a change of heart about it, and just be honest with one another. It takes two people for this to work and if you changed your mind about this in 2 years... you could easily destroy the device and have it removed if she was willing to help you remove it.

    If keeping you locked up against your will is more important than your marriage, then she has forgotten what is important. But if you are ok with it, it is obvious what she wants... go for it for the time being. Just don't feel like you have signed a legally binding contract here.

    I can't imagine being in a divorce court where the wife is filing for divorce cause their husband was tired of wearing a "cock cage". Depending on the state you might win everything lol.
     
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  5. enslavedbyc
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    enslavedbyc Junior Member

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    #5 enslavedbyc, Jul 30, 2022
    My wife would never give up the power of orgasm control, nor the ability to have sex whenever and however she wants it. Therefore, I really can’t help you with your question.
     
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  6. LockedTower
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    LockedTower Long term member

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    #6 LockedTower, Jul 30, 2022
    You're relationship is most likely improved because of the submission and added respect you are giving to your wife, not the lack of orgasms alone. This suggests you should continue following your wife's leadership and direction, which seems pretty clear. Orgasms aren't helpful for her. Accept her decision.
     
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  7. Crowe
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    Crowe Long term member

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    #7 Crowe, Jul 30, 2022
    In my case, my wife said either I go with what she wants or it's game over with no chance of me ever getting an orgasm from her, only by my own hand. At this point it's in my best interest to go with the flow because I'd much rather have her than my hand.
     
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  8. Andy88
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    Andy88 Long term member

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    #8 Andy88, Jul 31, 2022
    After 40 days of fasting from sexual indulgence, you would have become a saint.. what a wonderful wife standing by your side cleansing your spirits, lifting your morale and abstaining from earthly sins of jerking your cock, splurting messy cum, tiredsome ass milking…
    Live by her rules and you shall live.. she has pro created with you and the male penis is disfunctional sexually..
    miss piv with her..? Take a deep breath and smell her revered pussy ..in out ..in out… the glorious days of inserting a pee viled up penis into her is over.. its over for me too.
     
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  9. SubDee
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    SubDee Long term member

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    #9 SubDee, Jul 31, 2022
    Andy!
    I got to fuck this morning!
    It went well.
    You never know when it’s over. Last week you got in the pussy for the first time in years, if I recall.
    You have to hold out some hope; Always. You never know when the mood will strike her.
    certainly, expect to never feel the engorged lips of the sweet pussy, gripping your small-ish cock and effortlessly doing the work that it takes to make it spurt ropes of seed in a totally unpredictable way.
    You have to expect to never feel that again.
    But you have to be ready for the rare occasion when the clock reads, “time to rail the girl o’clock”.
    It doesn’t happen often, but it does happen
     
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  10. Andy88
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    Andy88 Long term member

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    #10 Andy88, Jul 31, 2022
    Yeah.. hope is the thing that makes me looking forward to another day.. you never know what you might get.. like gambling.. you never know what turns up..though the odds are against you.. keep the faith finish the race.. in this case, another grand reentry into the revered cunt.
     
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  11. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    #11 Xileh, Aug 1, 2022
    I agree with @enslavedbyc, the threat of an orgasm or the promise of one, is a powerful behavioral tool and/or motivator for some men. My wife would never give it up.
     
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  12. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    #12 IB-Chaste, Aug 1, 2022
    Sorry I read your reply and missed your question. The answer probably would have been beneficial to this post.

    Have I been milked before?
    Successfully, not at the time of this posting. This is currently what she is working towards. She’s tried. She’s done the research. Attempted. Not sure whether it’s her or me or whatever but we’ve not quite pulled this one off.

    Have I been ass-fucked before?
    Yes!! Oh yes!! Hell yes!!
    The ‘amazing sexual experience’ I mentioned was a pegging session. However, it was different as she’s developing in her role and she’s become more commanding. Coupled with her research into the prostate she was putting me in completely different positions than before. Hitting the right spots rather than focussing on me taking all 12 inches.
    You can imagine that this only made me far more frustrated at the situation. Luckily, I actually broke the rules that day and received a pretty hard caning. Which provides some relief.

    So yeah, you would wonder why I’d even question whether this is worth it. However, to go from quite frequent PIV sex to never is really really tough.
     
  13. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    #13 JaySaysYes, Aug 1, 2022
    Very few things are permanent.

    Just go with the flow, and if you don't like it go to the toolbox and remove the cage. Simples :)
     
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  14. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Adoring husband

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    #14 littleguy3, Aug 2, 2022
    One thing I do know, I'm never going to let my wife read this post!!!! LOL

    I was going to suggest you have her read an article about the benefits of clearing the prostrate about 1 / month and hope she'll go for the full orgasm route. But reading further in this thread, it sounds like she's already thinking ruined or milking because she believes you'll start behaving horribly after a full O. I'd be begging to go the full O route and then try like hell to be on my best behavior afterwards whether I felt like it or not! Have you two tested a long period of denial with a full O already?
     
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  15. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Long term member

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    #15 Headtrip, Aug 2, 2022
    Sorry - If she is anything like my wife it wont even come close to working. I cannot fake that desire, that desperate yearning. One look in my eyes the next day and then I see the dissappointment in hers.
     
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  16. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    #16 IB-Chaste, Aug 2, 2022
    Thanks for all the feedback guys.
    It’s seems popular opinion that I should wait this out and see where it takes us. She’s been more than accommodating in pleasing me in other ways, she’s also given up PIV for this… I should consider her needs before my own.
     
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  17. Stephplayswithyou
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    Stephplayswithyou Long term member

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    #17 Stephplayswithyou, Aug 2, 2022
    I think that's a great way to look at it @IB-Chaste
     
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  18. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    #18 JaySaysYes, Aug 2, 2022
    Fake it until you make it :)

    Sounds orgasmic haha.
     
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  19. ChasteHubby2015
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    ChasteHubby2015 Male Feminist

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    #19 ChasteHubby2015, Aug 3, 2022
    Your only desire should be to see that her desires are fully met and if that means being locked in chastity and permanently denied while she gets all the pleasure, then so be it.
     
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  20. Queens servant73
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    Queens servant73 Long term member

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    #20 Queens servant73, Aug 9, 2022
    I agree with most of the comments here, just see where it goes. I will say my Wife would feel bad about not letting me cum when she’d want piv, but once we talked more about chastity and trying to be more strict, things evolved to where she now very much enjoys allowing piv for her pleasure and denying me an orgasm. She knows this is a great form of tease and denial, feeling that sweet, warm and tight V and then just locking the cock back up really drives it home who is in charge!
    Let your Wife run the show, and she may decide to go that route at some point as well.
    And if not, it won’t take long till you’ll be craving her hand just as badly as you crave her pussy lol
     
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  21. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Adoring husband

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    #21 littleguy3, Aug 27, 2022
    So it's 3+ weeks later. Still status quo?
     
  22. Lckdnpnk
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    Lckdnpnk Long term member

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    #22 Lckdnpnk, Aug 28, 2022
    I’m with you!
     
  23. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    #23 IB-Chaste, Aug 28, 2022
    So not quite the status qou, things progressed slightly from here. As an update:

    Around 40 days without any sort of climax it was time for my wife’s period. Never my favourite time. Luckily she only experiences this 4 times a year due to her birth control… or did… as we no longer have sex she’s informed me she’ll be coming off her pill. I told her that it worries me as I’d never be inside her again without protection…. A few days after she took pity on me and allowed me inside. After a good 5 minutes of barely moving as it was all a little too much she told me if I didn’t have sex with her I’d have to stop. We had a good session all in all. But I wasn’t allowed to orgasm. I begged. She said no. She seemed to enjoy it more for denying me.

    A few days later she asked how long it had been since I last had any sort of orgasm. Telling me “it’s not the day, but it will be soon!”… she teased me with this for a while. Even writing on my daily tasks lists comments like ‘not the day’, ‘could be the day’, ‘the day’ etc…

    Apparently, day 45 was the day! I returned home from work (she was still at work) and she’s laid out some of her lingerie, pinwheel, feather tickler, delay spray, an empty glass and a blindfold. It turned me on immediately just seeing it before I laughed to myself ‘lingerie and a blindfold? Cruel’

    That evening, with the threat of 100 strokes of the cane if i didn’t tell her when I was going to cum. She tied me down and gave me a ruined handjob. Giggling after a few seconds when I told her I was already getting over the edge. She played for a good 10-15 minutes. Teasing me all over my body before bringing me over the edge with a handjob. Ruining it completely by stopping so I couldn’t enjoy the experience fully. She caught my unproppelled semen in the glass as it dribbled from the end of my penis before telling me I had some drinking to do.

    I wouldn’t go down after. Obviously! So I asked if she’d let me have a full orgasm… she gave me another ruined one. And then once more for measure and asked me to lick the glass clean.

    I don’t think anything will happen again for a while as she’s remarked “I’ve given you a treat and now I’m doing all your jobs”. I worked 9 days straight and was thoroughly exhausted… but chaste husbands don’t get a break it seems!
    We’ve booked our holiday for September next year and she’s already told me it wont be cage free as she’ll be enjoying her holiday without me expecting anything!

    As it stands it’s now 70 days since I’ve been released for any significant period of time or had a full orgasm!
     
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  24. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Adoring husband

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    #24 littleguy3, Aug 28, 2022
    Thanks for the update!

    How did you manage PIV without cumming? Did it last only 5 minutes? That couldn't have been very enjoyable for her except the denial aspect.
     
  25. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Chastity Superman.

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    #25 IB-Chaste, Aug 28, 2022
    Haha. No it went on longer. Once your over the initial excessive sensations it’s alright. As I was in control of it I could slow down and go at my own pace to control the orgasm (or lack of). If she had taken control it would have lasted at least two minutes!
     
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