Easily offended or just oh so passionate!

I was just talking to my kh about my mood. Although the longer I am under her spell and the longer I seem to carry on this relentless fore play, the more submissive to her I become...to her. I can get quite growly and combative with others. Plus as you have witnessed when I took exception about superiority, some things strike a nerve a bit quicker. I’m not saying our opinions change, but our fuse is sometimes so much shorter that we (me) can get a bit irrational.

It’s funny, I can see a topic going sour a mile away here when I’m not emotionally involved, yet when my fur is up I charge right in. I don’t think a lot is said about the male mind during chastity in a negative way...here it’s all roses but as subbie as I get, I’m sure I get a lil ornery.

 

I've just been on a forum for one of my other interests, football, and had an experience similar to the one you describe. I made a throwaway remark, not something I feel very strongly about, but something I had noticed, and armageddon descended on me as an army of men took offence at my words and tore a strip off me.

Such is life, I suppose. And you see it on all forums, don't you? People invest a lot of themselves in their interests, and can sometimes react too quickly and too strongly.

 

I love the abstract nature of the challenge and the proposed premise. I will offer an alternate premise.

One of the insights I had early on, while running operations in a company, was the difference between being validated and being effective. Acting passionately for validation with people who are also seeking validation is a reciepe for poloarization or radicalization depend on how close the point of views are. Acting passionately for effect at the cost of your own validation is quite the opposite, in most cases insipiring other perspective to create room for this possibility. The possibility for coexistence.

The nuance between these two is very subtle when felt or heard. Yet very powerful if mastered. An easy way to tell if you have got it is by the affect you have in each conversation. If you are getting attacked, pushed out, or ignored; there is work to be done by you, not them. And you are likely not being accountable. As you can always anticipate there will be someone who sees things differently and not willing to evolve.

It is a choice, stay stuck with them or adapt, surrender the point of view, and look for the ‘yes and” conversation. You will likely be more effective and less frustrated/offended.

 

Rules to remember

 

That’s a brilliant list ... for life in general

J&J
X

 

Aye its a good list.

Just remember a few maxims can be thrown in here
It is now and always should be ..... Each to their Own ... especially on a site like this
and that ........................One man's meat is another man's poison...... no ladies its not pc I said it was old
and
before you criticise someone you have to walk at least 1000 miles in their shoes..... yes I am aware of the related joke
and even ..everyone is entitled to their own opinion....... though these days its usually best and generally preferred that folks keep some of the more controversial ones to themselves ....
... a time and place for everything...

Basically its all about showing mutual respect isn't it?

 

Those black and blue fonts are REALLY hard to read. Is it just me?

 

No, they really are quite hard!

 

Messed with my eyes....

 

Then next time I do something similar I'll try black and something else...
any preferences anyone ??

 

filltee:
No problem here to read those fonts.

 

If using the CM Night theme, the blue (and various colours) is impossible to read, if using the Day theme, they’re fine.

 

You are correct. Didn’t even realize that option existed.

 

I have no trouble with either font colour on either the night or daytime backgrounds and prior to this never realised that htere was an issue but clearly some people do have one.

So if someone does know of a font colour combination preference that both differentiates and is clearly discernible with either of both day and night backgrounds please do let me know.

 

If you just stick with the default font @filltee it will show as white on black in the Dark Theme and black on white in the Light Theme. That should work for everyone.

 

When my KH and I first met, we had misunderstandings and conflicts. We were fortunate enough to have a friend spend time with us and teach us the ‘I said’ and ‘you heard’ game. It was akward at first, but humbling to know how poorly we listened and how quickly we ‘heard’ and allied to the few words that proved our own beliefs about how we were being done wrong or proved we were unloved, not enough, and or nature or character was under attack. What we learned was that we loved each other’s perceived bad parts and both really just needed to really hear it.

@Mandynjack , I love what you bring to CM, I followed your posts, your wit, your boldness, your connection with your partner, and your passion. You have no tolerance for cowards or bullies. You take life and this lifestyle on with extrodinary vigor and commitment. In a lot of cases having to crowd out the 100 subs to find the company of the few KH who share your energy. As a reader and admire of your character, I always look forward to seeing what you bring.

I was speaking relatively. I wrote it to apply to you or anyone who can relate. It is an asset / liabilities distinction that generally applys to lots of characteristics. For this conversation it could also be applied specifically. Offered as an insight to help people who encounter a lot of conflict get what they want.

So it is not my point of view that matters, what do you hear?

 

Thank you, it is my intent to serve those who have served me.

We all have our mountains, ask my KH. She just gave me 30 days, 20 crops and forfeit of my Get Out Free card because of my own disregard of my commitments to serve her before my own sexually self indulgent tendencies.

You specifically had two different posts, as well as a reply to one of my threads, that was a light bulb moment for me and my role in my own relationship. From that, I formed an intimacy based agreement with my key holder about what she wants from our dynamic, not what I want her to want. The first month has been an eye opener and ultimately resulting in a well deserved lesson in submission, love, devotion, and intimacy. The biggest turning point in our 1.5 years down the journey together. I wouldn’t have had that without the same extrodinary passion and insight given by you.

The feeling and admiration is mutual, and I thank you for contributions to my own relationship and evolution as a partner and submissive.

 

hank you.
I was just looking for two contrasting colours that work on either backgound without messing up some people's vision and without making loads of trial posts,

For example the orange does not work so well on the white page

I don't envisage a great need for this but none the less it would be nice to know.

 

When we're unable to read human emotion and expression and we are only left with text it is quite easy to "read between the lines". We only see the emotion that we project into that text based on our personal experiences instead of what the writer is really trying to convey to their readers. It's easy to be someone we're not when it comes to blogs and forums and other forms of non personal communication. In many ways sometimes our alter egos get in the way of who we really are and for many of us CM allows us to really be who we are and discuss our passions with what we always hope to be an impartial crowd. Just like the real world, open expression isn't always so easy and some people just can't accept it. Other times the internet creates the perfect formula for a battlefield of words where every original point that was trying to be made gets completely lost in the politics of "who's in the right".
@Mandynjack Your statement is really well thought out and meaningful, thank you for making a good point.