Complicated start

Oh, yes, thanks, I will.

Three things to talk about, but the communication book would make talking much easier.

 

I have absolutely no intention of criticizing whatsoever, @allaboutHer but I take your point about positives being 'maneuvered ' into negatives, I have very definitely had an experience of that. I'm not using the twisted word, there is still a chance my Wife might read this one day!

 

Dear Wifey.

Thank you for reading my journal. (At last, but hey, better late than never!) (Please don't whip me. Too much.)

You continue to amaze me, and show your complete support for what we are doing. I don't want much really, just a bit more. For instance when you were teasing me and giggling like a maniac a few weeks ago, please could you not wait at least two weeks before doing it again? It was one of the most incredible sexual experiences of my life and it was the first time you ever teased me. Imagine how much fun you (we) could have if you practiced! By the way it was also the moment, the biggest click moment so far, the one where my head went "Oh, I get it!!!"

Apart from that all I really want this year is for you to really take control of my orgasms. At the moment I think you are locking me up more because I want to be locked up, rather than because you want me to be locked up. You have complete control of the key to my device, that truly does mean a lot. If you now started telling me I either had to have an orgasm or I wasn't allowed to then that would take things up to the next level. You do this in your own way. You could let me know how long I have to wait or you could keep me guessing, whichever suits you. You could make me think I am about to and then stop it from happening.

To explain why this is important, there have been a few times where you have taken complete control that have been incredible. Like the night you went out for your Christmas dinner with your work colleagues. You gave me instructions that I followed completely, and your pleasure at my efforts made me soar inside. When talking about there reaction to what I had done and you said 'they don't know about our Arrangement' my heart skipped a beat. I knew that we were doing the right thing.

I know that you want me to take the initiative sometimes, and I know that this might be against the spirit of doing that, but I need help in learning when it is actually OK to take the initiative. I need to learn to read the signals that you are receptive. At the moment the ways I can turn you on are as diverse as helping you pick up dog poo in our back garden to actually leaving the room for a bath while you have some time to yourself. (You cannot deny that both of these things got you in the mood for letting me pleasure you!) Obviously there are the occasions where I clean your back and massage you in the shower, but even then there are times where that is as far as you want things to go. I am but a simple male (no, really!) so some help here would be great.

I have a shopping list as long as my arm, but you have made it clear that you pace means we take things slowly. A compromise would be helpful to my state of mind. We don't need to do more, we just need to do it a bit more often!

That said, I am sooooo looking forward to naughty Santa this year!

Your loving, doting husband.

Jas

 

I half wrote the letter as a joke @LadyBlaze , though everything I said was the absolute truth. I am going to read it to her later.

I have however spoken to my Wife, and it went brilliantly. Far better than I could have hoped. Being made to think about what I wanted to say for a few days certainly helped.

We drove into our nearest city this morning to do some shopping. On the way in I told her about why denying me orgasms was a good thing. She totally got it. I actually made sense! Later I am going to ask her if she had thought of a time limit at all. If she has thought about it at all it will depend on how good a job I did I suppose. Knowing my Wife she won't tell me even if she has, which I am fine with.

On the way home I asked her why she wasn't having more fun with me. As in doing the teasing thing more often. It all boils down to the fact that she doesn't want to do it too often sat will become boring. I sort of had to agree to disagree on that one! I said that was OK, but maybe a bit more would be nice.

As for why she hadn't asked to read the Georgia Ivey Green books, she was actually thinking about that a few days ago. So I am going to offer to lend her my iPad now, as it is in my Kindle app.

 

I did gain something. I gained the confidence that she is still happy to go on, and we talked, openly, about what we are doing. When I asked her whether she wanted to carry on her nod was emphatic, yes she does. As for whether anything changes, who knows. I was stewing in my own juices as I was worrying so much about nothing really. I did tell her that part of my issues in the week was from being denied access to pleasing her.

Actually, about that, something interesting happened. My Wife confirmed that during the week she doesn't really think about 'going upstairs early' and doing anything as all she wants to do is relax as she is at work the next day. I pointed out that She doesn't actually have to do anything and my incredulous 'what is more relaxing than a massage?' was met with her agreeing that I was right! I have asked permission to give her a mid week massage which she has happily agreed to.

And thank you, all of you, your support has meant a lot, as always.

 

Oh, and she is reading the Georgia Ivey Green book right now

 

I think I have managed to talk myself into permanent orgasm denial.

Yesterday goes down as one of the most incredible days of my life so far. Especially given how messed up my head was approaching it. I now realize that those feelings I was having was completely caused by the ban on not being allowed to talk to my wife for just under three weeks. It was like a pressure valve and I was about to blow.

I still have no idea how Our Arrangement is going to develop. We don't have a contract nor do I think my Wife wants one. She is however fully in charge and is definitely wanting to carry on. She will go at her pace. That pace is what I am going to struggle with, probably more than anything else, but she is the one who has to 'do', I am just the one who has to accept. Expect struggles.

Permanent orgasm denial?Permanent chastity was never discussed, but my description of how I feel, how sexually charged I am when I have not had an orgasm for several weeks, and what my Wife has witnessed has convinced her that I do not need an orgasm.

After a domestic day of getting jobs done in and around the house, including a trip to the gym, I cooked us all a really nice dinner. (Hugh Fearnley-Whitingstall Three good things, Chicken, plums, soy. An absolutely gorgeous feast.) and we watched an NCIS. My Wife then decided we would have a shower. She stimulated me in the shower to the literal point of collapse. I was wearing my Holy trainer and at one point it was jutting out from my body by a good three inches. I was so erect below the device that it took both her hands to encircle it. She used this to her advantage and had me unable to stand. She took a photograph of me slumped in the corner of our shower.

After the shower I asked her whether she had thought at all about how long I was going to be denied. She misunderstood me and said a month. The reason there was a misunderstanding was it turned out that is the longest she will consider leaving me locked up without release for checking and hygiene. I therefore clarified myself and asked if she had any limits as to how long I would go without an orgasm.

"You don't need one."

She said it so calmly, so matter of fact. I just stood there, head in a whirl, realizing that my talk that morning had been listened to and understood. Fully.

I am still in a state of amazement now, several hours later.

 

Before we went downstairs I asked her to tell me how long I was going to be locked up in my Holy Trainer, just to clarify, as I was a bit confused.

"When you said I was going to be locked up for a month, did you mean from now? Or to the end of the month?" I asked.

"I really don't think that is anything to do with you."

She said it so firmly. There was no annoyance, no raising of her voice. There was no question she did not mean what she said. Her tone just said do not continue to ask, this is up to me, your wishes are not relevant.

Gulp.

 

I have to disagree @allaboutHer

I do not think either of us is pathetic. Why are we doing this? To make our Wives happy, to become a better husband, to make our relationships happier and bring us closer together. There are definitely men who would see what we do as over the top, but I don't care. I feel more alive, more in tune with my Wife than ever before.

I am a bit scared, I don't mind admitting it, but I am more excited than scared. I started this, I have to step up to the plate and see it through.

You have seen my state of mind over the few days before I was allowed to talk to my Wife. It turns out my main issue was a lack of belief in Her. I was suffering from chastity envy, wanting what men were getting in my favorite chastity blogs to happen to me. It turns out I have something better. I have my own, amazing Wife, and I have what She wants.

 

It is the morning after the night/day before. I am again not allowed to talk to my Wife about chastity or its linked topics, this time only until next Saturday. This is a good thing, after the bombshells of yesterday and the developments in our ongoing relationship I am full of thoughts, questions, ideas, all to further refine and define what was said. If I was allowed to splurge these ideas out my Wife would probably become annoyed and fed up very quickly.

One of my biggest successes yesterday was keeping my conversations to an amount that did not overwhelm my Wife. This was remarkable given the amount I had to say and what it heralded. My Wife admitted that I had made it through the three weeks of not talking about chastity really well and also that she had really enjoyed the period.

There was one other funny incident of note yesterday. I got up with our puppy before 7am to let my Wife have a lie in until 9am. She gets up at 06.30 every day of the week to get ready for work, so I enjoy this opportunity to let her sleep. I went up with a coffee for her at 9am as instructed and was allowed to get into bed for a cuddle. She was still naked from the night before, and we lay close to each other, I was stroking her legs and thighs with my left hand.

When we got out of bed I was finding my clothes when I noticed a long string of viscous pre-cum dribbling out of my Holly Trainer cage. I scooped it up between my fore and middle fingers of my left hand and started playing with it, using my right hand to stretch and loop the liquid. It is incredible how it stays together even though to the fingers it doesn't feel sticky. My Wife was laughing at me but also telling me it was disgusting, She has always hated getting cum on her in any way, not that she was ever worried about it landing on me! On the spur of the moment I pooped my fingers in my mouth and licked it all off.

My Wife was laughing even more now, but also telling me I was disgusting. I thought about it and said that I spend as much of my time as I can with my lips and tongue in her pussy, lapping up her juices happily, and she has no problems with that. What is the difference? Pre-cum has the same function as the juices she produces. It provides a safe environment for the transfer and travel of sperm. I told her I was always disappointed that if we had sex and I came she never let me go down on her to bring her to an orgasm if she hadn't had one during the penetrative sex. She thought the idea was disgusting, but I asked her what the problem was when I was the one doing it, not her.

She agreed with me. It is a shame it was a discussion we had now, where it looks like it isn't going to be an option anyway, if she does as she suggested yesterday and not allow me to have an orgasm in the first place.

 

@LadyBlaze it is a shame it is a Sunday or I would tell her that

(By the way, if you don't mind me asking, is this future cuckold in the works or just a plan you have at the moment? I would love to hear more!)

 

It has just occurred to me that the only posts I have read have been from a male perspective of either fantasizing about or being a cuckold. I would love to read about what the experience is like for the woman involved.