Complicated start

That is exactly how i feel too... being completely and intentionally cut off from any intimate contact SUCKS! That was the ultimate punishment for what i did, and is one i never want to experience again.

in talking with Mistress Wolf as we went to bed last not (while apologizing for my sulking session) i told Her again that i think i actually do better when i'm not allowed to finish. i get the satisfaction of pleasing Her, meeting Her needs, but then don't have the post O slump to deal with. At the same time i also added that i know She enjoys the feeling of me finishing, that it enhances everything for Her. i really don't care if i finish, if i orgasm, and actually i prefer to not any more. Fighting it as i reach the edge while bringing Her over the edge is so intense, knowing that all i'd have to do is let it go, but trying so hard not to. But, if She wants me to finish i will gladly do so to bring Her the pleasure She wants.

She smiles when i start making noises , whining and moaning, as i keep going to bring Her to orgasm while being SO close to it myself. Those are the ones that really leave me with the feeling of success and adoration for Her. Knowing i am able to give myself to Her, to make it completely about Her, really is the greatest feeling i've ever felt.

It really is Her choice and decision to make.... all i want is to be there and be able to give Her my full attention.

 

Hello Caged Wolf & Jasmic.

Caged Wolf: The highs are higher and the lows are lower once you go long term. I honestly forget what an orgasm feels like let alone the warmth and grip of her womanhood, mouth or soft hand, but that has been replaced with the delicious fullness of anal toys, her fingers and mouth upon my nipples and the indescribable inner ache of unrequited arousal that leaves me feeling like I am peeing for hours on end and soaking my undergarments with precum. Emotionally, the intensity of my feelings for my Wife/Mistress/Keyholder sometimes reach pure rapture as I feel beholden to her every breath, word and vision, but when the "dark hormones" get me, look out...depression, anger, frustration...I feel ready to get the bolt cutters or access my key. It can be quite a harrowing ride...especially when they are cautious and slow and you read posts from couples edging, teasing and advancing like a dragster.

Jasmic:

Reading those other posts can be very demoralizing. "Gee, so and so does whatever, if my Keyholder just did whatever...."....like READ THE DAMN BOOKS already! I think it comes down to this--if we want it exactly the way the way we want it we should be seeking the services of a professional...that is not REAL. What you and I are living is real...and maybe just maybe we may get things we want with patience...and maybe not. THAT is what makes it REAL and a SHARED, romantic journey with a woman we love, honor and cherish (and obey).

Take care guys.


allaboutHer

 

its for when i been a nuisance and i dont like it but its not mean to be liked is it.

 

Hey I am really happy about the job opportunity, I hope you will get it!

 

This sentence says it all... "if we want it exactly the way the way we want it we should be seeking the services of a professional...that is not REAL." You got what you asked for but you can not have it exactly the way you want it! In your world and fantasy it is about you but it is not about you as a man, it is about you as a couple and you must let your wife do her thing.

 

exactly...

 

Hello jasmic.

WELCOME TO MY WORLD! Not to sound like a sexist lout, but it amazes me how tired so many women are! I guess the not staying up to have some carnal fun is why so many of them outlive us men! DRIVES ME F-ING NUTS!!! I LOVE to please...my Wife/Mistress/Keyholder is one of the minority of women who does not really like receiving oral sex and has not throughout her life ...she says she is too sensitive there...there is a book in her nightstand that remains untouched all about it....SIGH!

We have given the keys to the store away my friend...the onus is no longer there on their part to put effort in thanks to that little lock. Sleep is well above sexual relations on life's totem pole for most of the women I have known...they are camels and sexual relations are water...a little lasts a long time. Like many of us, you are slowly being put into a nice little plexiglass display box to be put on a shelf to be looked at and admired like so many women and their fine china but rarely used...and finding something they can put us on autopilot with to keep us busy is all part of that. My Wife/Mistress/Keyholder knows I love my anal plug and wearing hosiery and is glad to oblige me because she knows I can be entertained for hours (in pure sexual purgatory) laying next to her in pantyhose, a night shirt and my plug harness massaging her as she snores away hoping and praying she might wake up to engage me...and she knows I cannot resist it! I get so mad at myself.

"You worry too much." "I like what we have going." "You know I am uncomfortable talking about sex." "You are over thinking things, go with the flow...I would tell you if there was a problem.".....the list goes on and on.

One thing for sure my friend...this is REAL...sessions are for the pros and guys who do not want to go through this...they want the fantasy...the thing that frustrates me is I want us to live this for REAL and be the answer to each other's fantasies...I think that is why I have been so subtly feminized to the small degree I have (I suspect bi/lesbian tendency) and it sounds like you may be headed down that path too. Tjme to fish or cut bait...the longer you do this the harder it is to walk away from it...trust me on that...it pulls you back in.

Good Luck!

allaboutHer

 

I don't know what to say.. Have you tried to write down how you wish your everyday life would look like and then asked her to do the same?
Many dommes asks their subs to write a brief journal so they can find out what is going on in their mind.
You mentioned earlier that your wife is religious, could that have something to do with her low interest? I was raised to believe that wanting sex was something bad and only bad girls wanted that so it affected me a bit and yes you are right, when it feels like a shore or is expected then it is not fun. I want to be able to kiss, get massaged, cuddled without it leading to something else sometimes. You also mention that you are used to living apart, maybe it was more fun when she got to miss it a bit? What gets her in the mood?
I guess all women are different and I can forget to enjoy myself sometimes that's why I don't want a man who waits for me to make every single decision but can take the initiative himself as well otherwise I would be bored to death.


The only advice I have to give you is the same as I give to my girlfriend is the more you bring it up the less you will get and the bigger the problem will become. Instead try to focus more on what is working and feels good. Try to focus on making her happy and relaxed instead of being sexually satisfied.

And remember, you can't change someone else, you can only change yourself and the way you react. Hang in there Jasmic.

 

Hi Jasmic...........talk about kindred spirits! I am in exactly the same boat as you. When we started the FLR it completely reinvigorated our sex life: suddenly my wife wanted more pleasing/sex than for many years. There was also far less 'vanilla' and more 'kinky'. Seemed liked all my desires and hopes were fulfilled and she was really happy and contented.

Fast forward a few months, and the passion has dissipated - not gone, but once a week if I am lucky. My wife loves being in control, telling me what to do and deciding when/if I will be unlocked and all on her own terms. But, like you, I get frustrated and grumpy, because I would be quite happy to pleasure her most nights but she doesn't feel the need/desire. She is still very happy with our arrangement and very content - which should be enough but I am finding it a struggle.

I have tried communicating with my wife and her responses are similar to the wife of @allaboutHer - she is happy, sees no problems, I asked for this, etc.

So I guess this is the new normal - still plenty of cuddles and our evening routine is most nights she will get a 30 minute+ foot rub and/or back rub but I so want it to be more!

But don't take this that I am unhappy - frustrated, yes but unhappy no. I am so lucky to have a wife who does not think that my desires are deviant or wrong and has taken to be in charge with such gusto.

 

Ok since you are in this relationship and knows your wife and what rules you two have please bare with me here. I might be totally wrong and maybe one thing will help. I am just spinning my thoughts here trying to help you find a solution.

OK perhaps we can assume that this is has been hammered into her core. You know what they say, monkey see, monkey do and if her parents was like this then it can be hard to break and maybe she doesn't know that she is following this pattern. Have you ever asked her, in a relaxed and genuinely interested way why she doesn't like to have sex in the middle of the week? Is it because she is in her "work mode" and totally focused on that? I think the most important thing right now is the communication about the two of you and providing her a safe place to answer without feeling pressured or judged.I am glad that you suggested a communication book as I was going to suggest a box where you write down your questions and she can answer them when she feels comfortable but there should be a time limit on this. You might also have to accept that she might not know the answers to these questions. But this is an excellent idea.

Jasmic it has taken her 30+ years to become the woman she is, changes doesn't happen very fast always and you two have moved faster than most. You initiated this so you were more prepared and ready for this than she was. OK so if she stays up to 10 you know there is no action happening this night. Why does the action have to be initiated by her bedtime? There are many ways to ignite a person during the day and in the evening even if you have an almost adult son in the house.

Ok so here is the thing with us women... We like when you do things because you genuinely wants to make us happy, not because you want to score and we are moody and likes this one day and the other next day. So what would happen if you would give her a foot rub or a neck rub by yourself, and then kiss her good night and not wait around for her? (if you are allowed to go to bed before her). Or the next time you give her a massage you don't ask her at all about making her come. Just see it as a massage and leave it.
It is all coming down to behaviors, hers and yours and how to change them.

But Jasmic, she DO use the power she has over you...... Just not in the way you want her to use it. You are looking at it from a male perspective and she is not wired like you. I can only recommend the book the 5 love languages of Gary Chapman to try to figure out how you can show your wife how much you love her.

Another thing to perhaps think about. I assume that your wife is a bit older than me and it can be the big MP causing change in her hormones as well..

 

Hello dc...
We are becoming fine china in the china cabinet by our own doing...we made our own beds guys...we jumped in the quicksand...we willingly ventured into the she-spider's enticing web...the venom of that she-spider creates an amazing euphoria and we just moan and writhe in ecstasy in her cocoon as she feeds upon us when the need strikes...we begin to struggle in frustration in our sticky silk prison when she has not fed for a while or renewed our euphoria with fresh venom while feeding, but yet we are so happy she accepts us in spite of our deviant proclivities that we do not dare tear the beautiful silken pod in which we are kept--nor could we as she refreshes the layers from time to time.

I am not unhappy either, but so extremely frustrated at times that I could scream. Yet I know in my heart that I am putty in her hands which frustrates me and makes .me feel very vulnerable and transparent. I guess I am lucky she is the way she is because if she was like some of the ladies here I might find myself pierced into my device, tattooed, servicing men and living some of the other more diabolical results of the chastity lifestyle.

Hang in there!

allaboutHer

 

Hello Lady Blaze.

VERY good points above. I thank you for the food for thought. I wish men and women could switch bodies for a day to see and feel life from the other side with the hormones and parts we are dealt!

allaboutHer

 

Hello allabouther, thank you. We are so different abd we forget it sometimes. But when I read what you men write it is very similar reactions, so it has me thinking and wondering if being in chastity is messing with your hormones in some way? It seems like you become more sensitive and insecure? Or do I see it wrong? I wish more women would read this because it is so nice to see what is going on in your minds. Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

 

Hahaha we are not meant to be understood we are meant to be loved. So you removed yourself from the equation and she got horny! No I am joking with you Jasmic, I am glad that you had a nice time together. Perhaps the skype chat made her relaxed from work? See it is not about you doing something wrong, she just need to be in the right state of mind and she will show you when she is ready.

 

Im glad we could help you a little bit. Just take it easy and breath my friend.
Don't forget to mention the communication book.