Your thoughts please

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Sissyfrills, Apr 3, 2010.

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  1. Sissyfrills
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    Sissyfrills Junior Member

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    Hello everyone,

    Well our reintroduction into a D/s lifestyle has gone off with a bang! Mistress Locksmith has begun to see an ex boyfriend of many years passed who is only interested in friendship & sex with her, perfect! Meanwhile, i have been given a set date (May 16th) when i will be allowed release, i have already been punished with 2 extra days in chastity, which for me basically means a week due to working away from home.

    Now though we need your help, Mistress Locksmith is finding it hard to comprehend just how strict & cruel she can be towards my training. Don't get me wrong, she is enjoying holding the key, disciplining my botttom & just generally enjoying the benefits that come with being a Mistress, she feels guilty that i am not gaining sexual satisfaction out of all of this. I have explained how wonderful all of this makes me feel & the stress of everyday life seems to have vanished without a trace, but i think that the guilt lies in the fact that having a lover is her fantasy, which just so happens fits in with the cuckolding fantasy that i crave in a female led relationship.

    When Mistress speaks to me about her lover, she will often try to reassure me almost apologetically about her meetings, i on the other hand would like her to be much more assertive in her belief that she has the right to have lover/s. This has got us both thinking how much of a reality should this lifestyle be? I mean should i really have a right to object to anything that Mistress wishes for our journey to progress? What about if it is something that i will absolutely dread or hate? Do any of you have a safe word that can inform your Mistress that your impending punishment is not something you wish to endure?

    Mistress would be all to interested to learn how much of a reality this lifestyle is in order to rid her beautiful self of these guilty & apologetic feelings. Mistress does not want to overly embarrass me, punish me to a point where it becomes real pain or leave me sexually frustrated for too longer a period. Should Mistress have these concerns & is there an easy way to help her change her view on how strict she can be with me?

    We are a very patient couple, who are sure it will all be revealed as we travel on our journey, but we would be really interested to know how others have coped with the transition from a vanilla way of life to a D/s lifestyle.

    Sissyfrills x
     
  2. billyboi
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    billyboi Junior Member

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    Imho

    Were I you, I would appreciate that mistress loves you enough to care about you. Yes you can re-assure her but be glad she has not lost feelings for you along the way ... this is a good thing!!!
     
  3. cbtok
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    cbtok Senior Member

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    She may be less Dominant than you are submissive. That happens sometimes.

    The way She can choose to deal with your submission is to increase Her Dominance as an expression of Her love for you. As time passes, She may find that this comes naturally.
     
  4. Sissyfrills
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    Sissyfrills Junior Member

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    Oh i do appreciate Mistress Billyboi & i'm 100% sure that the love & care extends both ways, i do re-assure her that Mistress is very good at what she does already & feelings have certainly been gained by living this lifestyle. Still it's great to be reminded that i should very very thankful of being lucky enough to be in a relationship with a very open minded & attractive Mistress.

    Yes cbtok, you are correct, but we do not really have a problem with that as Mistress is learning quickly (To bloody quickly, to tell you the truth:) We were thinking more along the lines of how others have coped with their progression to living this way.

    Both Mistress & myself are having a great time learning our roles, there's no anxiety to how slow or quick we learn, we're having a smile at our mistakes, but we feel, that with practice, there will eventually be a point in our new way of life when each of our roles will be defined & were wondering how others have achieved this point.
     
  5. johnkelly00
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    johnkelly00 Junior Member

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    It's easy to want to top from the bottom. Buy some beginner books for her and tell her that anything is fair game and that you love her for her efforts. She'll either step up or not but she will most likely do so on her own time. Forcing matters may create an unpleasant situation (not in a "I'm going to punish you" way but rather a "I can't do this any more" way).

    good luck.
     
  6. bmth_couple
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    bmth_couple Junior Member

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    Ah, yes that one

    sissyFrills

    We had exactly the ame problem, in that I was hoping my wife/Mistress would be more forceful about her lover (actually getting to that stage was difficult enough in itself) but one thing the three of us do is sit down every few weeks and work out what works, and what doesn't - ion this way, all of our behavious have changed a little, so we all get the most out of our fantasies. It took a good year, and several uses of our safeword to get to the point where she could be as nasty as I wanted her to be, now she's comfortable with it, I guess it's a long term thing, developing the "reality" of the domme bitch cuckoldress, while knowing that the "real reality" is that she loves you to death, and your marriage is paramount above all else. That's the situation in our casde - er, does that help?
     
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