Wow, has it really been a month..........

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by rrjones, Apr 10, 2010.

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  1. rrjones
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    rrjones Property of Desiree

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    Sometimes I have a problem getting my thoughts together so this may ramble a bit. The last 4 weeks have been very cathartic for me. I have learned more about myself AND my wife/KH in the past month than in the last 7 years together. This started out as a way to rebuild trust and has turned into much more than I had ever hoped for. Let me start with the feelings I have been experiencing, I have, in the matter of a month gone from a truly selfish person, who was more worried about my own happiness and damn the consiquences(sp?) to someone that is both happy and content to do nothing more than ensure my wife/KH's happiness. Wow, is it really that simple, can I become the man she married just by letting go and honestly asking her for guidance. I have noticed that the longer I am locked the closer and more intimate we have become. I am beginning to realize that what I have in the last several years seen as a woman who has been whiny and needy was neither. Taking my own thoughts and feelings out of the equation has given me both clarity and insight into my wife/KH. What I had perceived as her wanting to be "sucked up to me" when I am home is her craving intimacy. And, with the lack of intimacy, our sexlife and our day to day lives consumed us and we were slowly drifting apart. We have never been closer than we are right now and we both love it. There has been a calm come over both of us that has spilled over to our kids too. She is positively glowing, and it makes me feel like a heady schoolboy in love for the first time.
    I have also noticed a change in my wife/KH, she is transforming into a woman who seems more confident than I have ever seen her. She seems to be finding her "comfort zone" whithin the confines of our new dynamic. For example, I have noticed that when I talk to her and tell her how I am feeling towards her, I am getting a "thank you" instead of her just reiterating back to me the same. I know she feels the same way, but it is nice to see her just except my praises. She seems to be more at ease and not feeling guilty about me doing things for her. I am going to quote one of her texts to me this week that puts it into perspective for me, and I quote "Thank you for working to understand me. What a beautiful gift you are giving me! I'm touched more than you can imagine. The long heartfelt texts and thoughtful insights into my heart are the kind of food I have been starving for" I hadn't realized that I had lost sight of that until that text. My wife/KH has also show a firmer hand (no pun intended) in dealing with my transgressions. She is taking the time to understand that, like a child, sometimes I need something stronger than a look or a lecture. She is blossoming into a truly dominate presence in our relationship.
    All this from an $87 piece of plastic and a small Master lock..................who new:happy0192:
     
  2. wishful4
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    wishful4 Member

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    WOW! What a Fantastic Post!

    RRJones, What a great post. You put you feelings on paper so eloquently. I have fond hopes that our relationship is headed in the same direction as yours and MrsJones', but we are quite a few miles behind. Seems reality tends to get in the way. So much stuff going on at the moment. Thank you so much for such an enjoyable read. I could tell it came straight from the heart.
     
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