With my wifes endorsement

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by jamesbet, Apr 30, 2010.

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  1. jamesbet
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    jamesbet Junior Member

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    Yes I have been here before but some how this is different. This time my wife knows and approves. For the old timers here I accept your life style, to those visitors I say, your presence her is because you seek something, look and pass by if you do not approve. I pass no judgement and would appreciate the same consideration.

    SHOULD YOU SHARE NO INTEREST PLEASE THIS PAGE NOW

    For those that do read on please accept this entry as it relates some of my wife and more especially my life.

    I / we have been dabbling in chastity for about 3 years. With reluctance V (my wife) has humored me and to varying degrees enjoyed some of the benefits of keeping me locked. I think to a large degree us men visit sites like these for some sort of relief from our sexual fantasies and desires. I and possibly I am not alone, I explored the net looking at the many adult web sites, What was I looking for, a release from my sexual frustrations. After 18 years of marriage I still have not learnt to really listen to V until a heart to heart a few weeks ago.

    In the past our sex lives was driven by me, chastity was driven by me. Yes V has locked me up anything from 7 to 100 days. Her only complaint was that obsessed about sex when I was locked. Yes V enjoyed my co operative nature when locked but in retrospect she wished she had the co operation with out the bother of my obsessing aside from that she would have had me under permanent lock up.

    I know that I love my wife. After, I also know due to the varying terms in chastity, that I love to pleasure my wife and adore making her feel wonderful. It gives me no greater pleasure to see V in enjoying receiving pleasure and try and extend this pleasure zone. Thus far I feel it has been a very admirable indulgence of my fantasies. Her wits end was quickly reached when I was unable to stop obsessing. For the record this was normally after about a month of chastity.

    So in essence I was playing a game that I hoped V would take seriously. My life is very stressful and I carry the responsibility of many clients with huge amounts of money at steak. I think my game was a wish for someone to take control of those hours when I can forget the hassles of every day life. V my sole mate tried and I, regret my inability to see this and appreciate her attempts to accommodate me.

    TO THE PRESENT
    The last lockup was Dec/Jan 2010 for about 20 days but ended in mutual failure due to a faulty device. Discomfort levels were to high. I had not reached "critical mass" but we called it off. V was in no way frustrated and quiet frankly she was more / very willing participant and was, (in my assessment) frustrate by the shortness of the lock up. I corresponded with the manufacture about the problems experienced. The apologies offered were accepted and a full refund was made. Any how Jan passed to Feb to March. The device supplier contacted us and offered a revised device for trial at no charge, provided the device was tested for at least 3 months. V and I discussed it and she said that if the offer was on the table we must accept. Frankly this was a new revelation.

    V has medical problems and has severe bad mass problems,(which has been a little problem in my life due to V's self consciousness as a result),so with the arrival of the device we agreed that she would adhere to an approved weight loss program and for so long as she did, and lost 45 KG, at at least 3Kg per month, I would not ask for a release. She accepted on the spot. Another revelation.

    With another device failure V said I must re - create a full metal belt, ( if any one is interested please ask) and now April has passed in lockup with V and I both agree,it is desirable. So here we are 28 days, this time V appears to want it.

    V and I are in a comfort zone. if any one read this far I will post more if interested.
     
  2. richard
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    richard Just me

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    Very good post. Very interesting.

    Keep us informed.

    rich.
     
  3. cbtok
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    cbtok Senior Member

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    Outstanding post. Please keep us informed. One would hope that the mutual benefits cause a real blossoming in your relationship.
     
  4. jamesbet
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    jamesbet Junior Member

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    V and I have agreed to a "game" and the rules are simple

    I may not ask for sex or have an orgasm for so long as she looses weight at a rate of 3kg per month. She has to loose 40 Kg. If she does keep to this regime she is entitled to keep me locked and deny me any form of sexual stimulation. As a reward to her I will pay for her rehabilitation surgery of a breast reduction, tummy tuck and liposuction as she may require. Should she relent prior to achieving her goal weight all bets are off.

    We have played chastity and it was play. Exciting and stimulating yet it was play driven by me. Please do not get me wrong we had some wonderful times and V enjoyed the benefits. The problem was, and this is our experience. Male testosterone builds and this is unavoidable?. The kink in my case had to be balanced with real life. The moment the member was locked my center of focus was on my penis. Now i am not a youngster, however, periods over a month brought me to breaking point. For me it was either sex or masturbation. V did push the limits up to 100 days. The down side was the lack of concentration on my part. I have a one man business and got progressively distracted, which was not desirable, regardless of the enjoyment of the kink. In balancing the benefits and the impact on my own business V would relent in favor of prudent financial management. As such we have been in and out of chastity play over the years and have really enjoyed our time. I suppose I had one agenda and V another, non the less we were both achieving some form of satisfaction.

    Here is the thing though. With the new incentive V has accepted the challenge and is totally satisfied with the arrangement. It has only been 33 days and V is comfortable with being "satisfied" and gives no thought to my orgasms. Her explanation is that were she to do so I would simply want more and she is quiet happy to receive pleasure once or twice a week. I have said and I still do say that to feel V cumming is so so pleasurable I would forgo my own pleasure.

    V is determined to loose her weight and wants the breast reduction, so much so that I need to give her a minimum of R3K per month towards her operation. It would certainly appear that there is no turning back for me. I find my testosterone builds after a month and that is where I am at. I feel sure that, and i am no doctor, ejaculation is a natural response to the build up of testosterone? and a male "needs" a release. This build up is a source of frustration to us both since we both want to achieve our goal. I get to have V back to her slim self and she gets her health back, there has to be some health benefits loosing excess weight.

    So I am getting to critical mass and feel that the next month will be telling in terms of my own mental state and acceptance of the situation I find myself. I sense that V is watching with interest and she has a smile on her face when we chat about our agreement. The kink of saying I could be locked up until well after December, would be a kink. The reality is dealing with it no matter how much I enjoy pleasuring her. If V is relentless in her pursuit of her goal, it is really going to turn our game into one of reality. Is this not what I want, total dominance, indeed.

    Many members have different reasons for being involved in chastity and I accept and understand your enjoyment. I think I will need to get over the kink to deal with and accept the reality of possible long term sexual denial. I will not feel disappointed if we quit, since V has shown more interest and enjoyment than at any other time and I, albeit I am frustrated, feel immensly satisfied.

    more later
     
  5. jamesbet
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    jamesbet Junior Member

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    Well well well 42 days and all is well a routine that is beneficial to us both seems to be emerging. V is calm relaxed and satisfied I am accepting attentive and enjoying the journey. There has been a lot of discussion regarding our sex life or rather my lack of sex and the degree to which V wishes to enjoy her newly rejuvenated sexual interest. Clearly V is now interested in seeing how I cope and is looking forward to being relived of the constant pestering for sex. She has made it quiet clear that in so much as our agreement is concerned she has no interest in my sexual desires and will only concentrate on her desires, mmmm .. I love it.

    There has been some talk of feminism and she likes the idea and has encouraged it. She is curious and quiet likes the idea of me wearing her bras. Tonight we chatted about dating together and me cross dressing. From my side I wanted to gauge her reaction, she smiled. Clearly this intrigues her. I do not know how I feel, however so long as it is activating her sexual interest I am comfortable going there. I think the kink is important and stimulation in areas previously not discussed is not necessarily a bad thing. Reality I do not know... however being the one who is craving I suppose I may or may not be challenged... that will depend on V. From my side the whole experience is a journey for us both and i believe if we can share fantasy together we will draw closer. I love seeing V relaxed and satisfied albeit at my sexual expense, given our past sexual history or lack thereof.

    There are deeper aspect which I do at this stage do not feel prudent to discuss which have come to the fore and our game is set to continue to Feb March of 2011. The problem of the lack of sex for us men, or maybe it is just me, is the build up of testosterone and the release we all seek. From V's side, there is the interest to see if we together can harness this over an extended period and gain something meaningful and loving rom the experience. In the past the build up was overwhelming and the kink ruled my day, this time I am content, even if it is only 6 week, there is no urgent craving, there is very little discussion of my needs, we have agreed that V will require satisfaction weekly, if she wants more she will ask otherwise I am not to raise the issue and as such get used to appreciating our relationship on a non sexual level. People are different and I do not knock any one who has a different out look,however I really believe we have moved closer together. I hope I am not wrong.

    More later.......


    Well folk we look forward to hosting the World Cup Soccer, if any of you are visiting my country please enjoy and if you need any assistance or advice please drop me a line.
     
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