My wife and I have an agreement that for the next 90 days I will be locked in and she will be in charge of when (if) I get any relief. One of the rules is that I'm not to ask for release and that she is not required to tell me when she is thinking of letting me out. It's only been four days but I desperately want to ask her if she would be willing to let me out and fool around. I asked her on day two and she punished me by sending me to the treadmill to run. But I have an urge to ask her anyway. Maybe she won't punish me this time. Why am I so weak? Does anyone else have this problem? Sometimes I'm at peace with it and I can let go ... realizing that it's not my choice any more ... but other times I catch myself all tense in my groin and upper legs. If I focus, I can relax but then I notice I go back to being tense down there. Sometimes I find myself thinking to telling her to just throw the damn key away because maybe it would make it easier for me to resign myself to the situation. Other times I want to demand (politely of course ) that she remove it. This is only our third (fourth maybe) go around at chastity. I've found that in some ways it has been easier this time but in others it's still damn difficult. When I sit and think - really think - about things I know deep down that I'm wired to serve her and that this is what I want. I also know that she does truly enjoy me in chastity a lot. So... I go back to -- why am I so weak? Sigh. Thanks for "listening".
I think you are experiencing a healthy and natural reaction to the loss of freedom you suffered - trying to regain your freedom. The experts call this reactance, in case you want to search for more information about it. This can even happen when you do not really want the freedom you lost. Fortunately this is just a phase you have to go through, and in a week or two when you have gotten used to it, you will no longer feel the strong urge to ask her to let you out.
Wow! Spot on definition of what I'm feeling. Thank you very much - I don't feel so bad now. BTW ... I ended up asking her for release shortly after I posted. She said no because she was too tired to deal with me at the time. This morning she told me I had earned another stint on the treadmill for breaking the rules. This all is much harder this go around because she has also taken up dating and she herself is really horny these days. The combination of chastity + talking about her dating + her increased sexuality has made me bonkers with wanting to get out and masturbate or f*ck her.
I still go through it each time I'm let out for release. Keep in mind I've been in chastity for years now, with regular releases every month or two depending. So even with all that "practice" - I still to this day feel the same feeling for several days after I'm locked up. My wife knows it well, as do I so it's easier to get through but still I think it's just being human. Frustration is an important part of the process...the feeling your feeling, gives her even more control, which ultimately is the point. You'll eventually rewire yourself to the understanding that the decision is hers, and only hers. It's a good thing that she is punishing you for questioning her authority...she will make a very good KH