trying to reel it back in a bit

I think at this stage, the less you say the better. Let things run into the New Year, then see how you feel.

 

I think you're lucky that your wife has expressed *her* desires and is following through on them. It will only help her grow as your keyholder.

 

This is very similar to how my husband and I started. He asked for it and I obliged out of love for him. The first few times that I corrected him or gave him a task that didn’t fit the mental image he had regarding being my submissive, he didn’t like it. Honestly, it caused some friction at times. I was resentful of being told how to handle him. He was frustrated that I wasn’t being “dominatrix” enough.

I finally gave him an ultimatum of sorts that if he wanted to be kept by me and to serve me, he would need to focus on making my life easier and more enjoyable. His life would no longer be about himself. Once he began to realize that this was my condition to take him as my submissive, he began to fall into place. Interestingly enough, when he completely surrendered to my authority, I began to feel more relaxed and confident in my position. I begin to consider his fantasies and desires to decide for myself what I was interested in exploring. For me, it stopped feeling like a performance and more of our new lifestyle.

 

Man, I feel like so many others have said the same as I am about to say but I also feel that you need to hear this. YOU ASKED FOR THIS!!! Classic case of you fucked around and are now finding out. You say it’s boring and not sexy but otherwise you are not in any pain/discomfort so what exactly would you expect your wife to think of all of the captions you sent her? Whether you realize it or not you were teaching her how you want to be treated. Also, once it left your mind and entered her’s it stopped being your fantasy and became both of your fantasies. She is taking what you shared with her and adding her own flavor to it. And absolutely, as you described her reaction, subtly steering it in another direction with different memes would be topping from the bottom. I’m not sure that would go well for you. Quite the pickle you find yourself in but from my perspective it’s exactly where you asked her to put you, only now you realize that you don’t like loosing the control that you had previously. If your wife is truly acting from a place of anger as you suspect then you and she should work this out as it won’t end well. If she is truly acting from a place of love and affection then learn to enjoy what you have.

FWIW my wife started out in our chastity journey absolutely hating it but now her talking about “wonder just how long I can keep you locked up for” actually turns her on and makes her orgasm harder than anything ever has.

Here’s to your journey, May it be a fun one!

 

Based on the Snip of your quote above. You need to tell her the truth. You don’t want a wife who is in charge of you in ANY way. Certainly not in a way that excites her but is mildly uncomfortable for you. You want her to be a Top or a Dominatrix. That is all well in good, but to be fair you should pay her for that service. My wife suggests cash, jewelry or paid travel with her girlfriends. This in exchange for providing services exactly to your specifications for your pleasure while neglecting her pleasure. You should also be prepared for her to take her pleasure from wherever she chooses.

 

Love this!

 

That point when her behavior changes from performative to authentic, is the crux of “Be careful…”.

Congratulations!

 

^ This is the important part of the exchange IMO. You asked her to take charge (aka: tell you what she wants you to do) and now she has - this is the form it's taking, for now at least. Tough shit.

The right thing to do here is to tell her tonight that you're really glad that she's agreed to indulge you with all this, despite having reservations initially - thank you.

Then that you're sorry you questioned both her TV choices & then also her chosen punishment method - you apologise, you understand that she's free to make these choices, and then most importantly, that you'll not do it again.

Maybe at some point there'll be an opportunity to make it something more interactive or sexy (as you see it, like rubbing her feet), but for now it's her choice & you get to suck it up & smile til she decides otherwise - anything else is the the definition of topping from the bottom.

 

I can imagine that she's also testing your resolve & commitment to it:

"Hey babe - let's play a sexy fun game where you tell me I can't have any sex until I immediately then want to".​

Standing bored watching her watching TV she wants to watch isn't sexy, but it is about power. If you (genuinely) yield to her being in charge at this low-bar she's testing you with, then it might move on to something more fun later - but only if you accept that's completely up to her.

 

Sounds like you got what you asked for . One of the problems with handling over authority is the loss of control and the fact her idea of that control or punishment style is going to be different to yours .
It sounds to me like she is just finding her way . In time her interest may align with yours and you might both end up living your best lives.

I'd be over joyed to be in your position as it would mean my wife is starting to consider my request for an FLR and starting to find out how to exert her authority. I hope it all goes well for you

 

Oh my!

 

You picked a rubbish punishment. You should have suggested being her foot stool.

 

Toughest part of chastity from reading most posts here over the years, it’s not giving up the orgasms and erections, it’s actually giving up complete & total control to the Keyholder and obeying without fighting against what their chastity way of living is going to be.
From your discussion with your Wife about the punishment choice and her view of it, I’d now say that you should be extremely excited that your Wife has embraced her role. Things will likely never be the same for you both! Enjoy it!