The beginning of my new journey

For the last few days, I've been struggling with a decision to post here or not. I posted the other day about my experience of shaving, dressing up and taking photos for Mistress Michelle. What I didn't do was say that it was part of a transformation that I've been dealing with over the last few months. So I guess I should back up, then go foward and talk about where I'm at, and where I think I'm headed and maybe keep this here if MM feels it's ok.

The short version of backing up is that I met MM and her pet last year. For all that know them, if I say they're wonderful people, I'd be called out as not doing justice. In other words, I'm honored to know them and having the pleasure to meet them. Now with this said, I must say that I wanted to spend more time with them, but life got in the way, as well as stupidity. As some of you know, I'm working hard to finish my graduate studies, and it's been a tough road working and going to school. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but I also tend to use school as an excuse to hide, to avoid relationships and to issolate. That and graduate school is a lot of work. Anyway between my stuff and pets accident, life got in the way.

Jumping back to this week, I must say that over the last few months, I've spent a lot of time thinking about my life and what I want and need. Ive realized that being a submissive is a large part of my self, and one that I struggle with as a parent, and teacher.

Anyway, I realize that chasity is important to me. That turning over control of my sexual desires, and submitting as both a service sub, and as a source of enjoyment is very important to me. Therefore, after working through all of the above and discussing it with Mistress, I was granted the honor of another chance (one I can't blow as I wasn't worthy of this one let alone another one if I screw up). To say words cannot express how honored I am is not enough. I wish I could, but I don't think it's possible. Instead, I must show not only Mistress, but myself, and all who love and know her.

Therefore, the last four days, I've been wearing my chastity belt to get used to it, make any adjustments and getting ready for being locked up without the key. I've also shaved my body as instructed and done so each day to stay nice and smooth as well as started wearing pantyhose as instructed.

I guess all I can say is that being locked the last few days without orgasm, (and not even thinking about having one) the reminder of the belt, and now pantyhose has made know that I've reached a new level of submission.

Anyway, I just wanted to say Thank You publicly to Mistress Michelle for giving me another chance, and to all of the kind folks here who have been supportive to me. I just hope I can make you all proud.

humbly

tom

 

Thank you Mistress Watchful. Yes I feel very lucky and honored (honoured) I just hope I can make MM proud. I have a minor repair to make to the trim of my belt, but it's getting more and more comfortable (well as comfortable as you can be wearing a steel belt and a steel tube around your penis). It amazing all of the little things we have to do to get locked 24/7.

So I had to get up, get dressed, and put in my plug as Mistress instructed. then pantyhose then go to the Hardware store. To say walking with the plug and the belt is a new experience isn't saying enough. But I guess the point was to think of MM every step (which I happily did).

Anyway, I fixed one part of the trim and am waiting for the glue to dry. I'll do the other side shortly then be back in my belt and plug. Plug for the day and belt until I see MM.

I'll keep you posted and thank you again for the kind words.

 

Today, got up checked e-mail and started the day in bed. Had a pleasant surprise of getting an IM from MM. What a great way to start the day!!!

After chatting with her then a new sub here who needed some help, I got dressed, inserted my plug as directed and went to Lowes (a hardware store for all of you not in the US). I got the glue to fix my belt. Upon getting home I got all undressed, cleaned my belt, and fixed one of the two pieces of trim that keep coming off. I write this as the glue dries, and before I do the other side. Based on how it's setting it shouldn't be too long. As soon as I'm done writing this, I'll glue the other side then hop in the shower, shave, then check the glue and then put everything back on. Hopefully that'll be the last belt issue and I'll be ready to be locked 24/7.

Anyway, things keep getting better every day!!!

 

Yesterday wearing the plug all day was tough. I finally had to ask Mistress for permission to take it out and she kindly approved. I then was instructed to put it back in when we chatted at 7 and keep it in until bedtime which I did. Overall, I don't find the plug horrible, but combined with the newness of being in chastity for 24/7 and getting used to the new belt it was quite a bit of change all at once. Anyway, I made it to bedtime and slept well.

Today I hit the gym for the first time since Mistress instructed me to shave. I was a little concerned about my shaved legs and thought about wearing sweat pants, but between not being able to find them, and a rush to get there as I meet my workout partner at 6:30, I just threw on my shorts. Not a word was said, and I don't even think anyone made a second glance. I think everyone was still asleep due to the early hour.

Upon getting home, I had the pleasure of chatting with Mistress for a few minutes which is always the highlight of my day. I really enjoy the private conversations and the individual attention. Considering how busy she is, this is a very special gift she gives me (her time) so I really value it.

After our chat, I hopped into the shower and shaved. I did notice that my shower times are getting longer. Hmmm anyone have any ideas? I don't think it's shaving but I could be wrong ;-)

Getting dressed, I put on my pantyhose as instructed. I must say pantyhose are a love/hate item. I love the feel, but boy are they annoying to put on and take off. Couple that with the fact that I'm not very graceful and it's something! Anyway, once on, I have this done, I have another reminder of my submission, which is funny if you think about it since the belt is a constant reminder of my submission to Mistress. (one which I really enjoy)

It's hard to believe but tomorrow, I'll be without an orgasm for a full week. As I write this, I think about how important it is for me to remain chaste until I see Mistress and she locks me with her lock. I'm both excited and a little scared. Excited as I know in my heart that it's what I want. Scared as it's something new, and all of the typical fears of the belt interfering with my life, not being able to get out, etc. But like my shaving, I'm just accepting them, and instead of worrying, working to just enjoy it since it brings pleasure to Mistress which makes me happy.

 

I really want to try a stainless steel butt plug but they're not in the budget quite yet. maybe I should start saving my pennies and that can be my next toy.

 

Last night I went to Walmart to get several pairs of pantyhose. I hate the fact that I only had a couple of pair and cleaning them every day was a real pain. So I picked up 4 packages of 2 pairs and hope that I can then have a few pairs so I don't have to clean them each day. I really love the feel against my smooth legs, combined with the confines of my belt and I'm in subbie heaven.

I started the day chatting with Mistress Michelle. It's always a wonderful way to start the day. I hope that I can bring a little cheer to her morning. I then got up shaved, showered, shaved body and put on my panties and hose. Did I mention I love the hose!

Anyway, I think I'm now to the point of settling into my belt and I'm really looking forward to having it locked. After a week of being good, I'm starting to feel a massive desire for an orgasm, so getting locked can't come soon enough. It's going to be a struggle as the desire is so large, but I'm committed to making it through the week. So those who are reading this, any kind words of encouragement is very welcomed. I know I'm going to make it, but any help is always appreciated.

 

Thank you Maam. I'm looking forward to it, well except for the spankings. There I cringe.

Did you say "FOR GOOD" ;-)
yikes what am I getting into??

Seriously Maam, I hope I'm worthy of being your sub for good. All I can say is that I'm trying my best and will continue to try my hardest to earn that very special privelidge.

 

Crazy day today. Got up to be at the gym by 6:30 as usual my workout partner was late, which really pissed me off as I had an 8:00 meeting. Because of his lateness I cut out one of the exercises which wasn't a problem as we switched routines anyway and had hit those muscles this week already anyway. Rushed home, then ran to my meeting (only was 5 minutes late) which wasn't a big deal due to the snow and other frozen stuff.

After my meeting, I went to the Oriental market to get the Ginger root as Mistress instructed. The market was closed so I went to the grocery across the street. Went through the Ginger to find a couple that I thought were a good size and shape. I then took these to pay. Now my imagination might have been running wild but I could have sworn the older cashier gave me too wicked looks during the transaction. But who knows. Anyway, the thought of how the ginger will be used on Saturday is exciting no matter what anyone things. All that matters is that Mistress is happy.

For some reason, I'm exhausted. I feel like I had all of the energy sucked out of me. So, I'll take a short break before making diner and charging off again.

 

Decided to take a nap right after the previous post or I really should say my body decided that I was going to take a nap. My son left for the gym, so it was quite and I fell asleep real quick. Woke up and realized I'd been sleeping 1 1/2 hrs. Gee time flys when you're resting. Woke up and decided to cut class. Well I should say I decided to cut class earlier but didn't change my mind. Surprising MM in the Chat room was the new plan. Don't tell her but I think she likes pleasant surprises!!!

Chatted for a bit, then talked with a friend of mine I'd like to introduce to MM. But it might take a little effort as my friend seems to be in the middle of a relationship crisis. So who know, I'll be a good friend and maybe she'll see the light when things calm down.

Before bed, I decided to check posts here, and post a short entry. One thing that really struck me is the feel of my belt. As it settles in it gets more and more comfortable (as much as steel can). In a strange sort of way, it's a very comforting feeling knowing that I can't touch myself. In a scary way it's coming to me that in about 2 days, I'll no longer have a choice. If I'm allowed to touch or even see Mistress's new toy it's when she says so. Talk about reality setting in!!! arty0042:

Am I scared, I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't. Am I ready, well we'll see in a few days. Is it what I want. This is the most clear question and the one that I think Mistress can easily answer for me. (hint it's three letters starts with Y ends with S and in the middle is the second vowel of the English language)

Anyway if anyone has any comments, thoughts or suggestions, I'd love to hear how folks dealt with the last few hours of not being locked (but I am in my belt and haven't orgasmed since I made the commitment) if they knew when it was happening.

 

Just woke and I must say that I'm horny as all can be. It's been a long time since I've been locked up and not cum on a regular basis. I think I'm starting to dribble some and I feel like if I was allowed out of my belt and a slight breeze happened that I'd explode!!! To be honest, I both like the feeling and hate it. On one side it reminds me of my submissiveness, on the other I feel this build up that I just don't know what to do with. Since I could take my belt off, I really want to just take care of this, but since I gave my word, and I have no intention of breaking my word, I'll make it through the next 24 or so hours until I get to see Mistress :jumping0045: In any case, it's strange wanting an orgasm and not. Frankly, I'd rather be milked than orgasm right now. I know it sounds crazy but I just don't feel that I'm worthy of all the love that everyone has been giving me nor of being allowed to orgasm.

In any case, in a little over 24 hours I won't have to worry about it any more as I'll no longer have access to my belt and Mistress will hold the only key!!!! To be honest, I really can't believe that this is happening. I've chatted with several folks and keep telling Mistress how happy and honored I am. I'm sure everyone is getting tired of it, but it's how I feel and I just feel so special!

Anyway, it's off to the gym to and I really don't want to get up as I hear the wind and just checked the temp and it's 18 degrees out. What kind of nut gets out of a nice warm bed at 6 am to go to the gym under such conditions! One who really wants to look his best for his mistress? One who needs lots of work to get off some weight?

Anyway, thank you all for putting up with me and I really appreciate all of the kind words.

 

Well today's the day. In a few hours I'll be on my way. For those that don't know I keep my laptop under my bed, so when I can't sleep I can pull it out and check e=mail, see who's on, read any posts etc. And when I wake up in the morning I check e=mails and posts before anything else. Anyway, that's what I'm doing right now. I just woke up and got done checking e-mail now I'm starting to think about the day, and what a day it's going to be! Plus it gives me a way to gradually work into the day on days I don't have to hit the ground running.

After 12 days of getting ready (and no orgasms) I think I have everything ready. My belt has settled in and actually is starting to feel like a part of me. I've fixed a lock problem, as week as a trim problem (several times). The trim one has been annoying but I've experimented several times with different solutions, and have a couple of backup ways of dealing with how to fix this. Eventually (hopefully this summer) I'm going to have to go up to PA to get my belt resized when I get to my goal weight and will have this addressed then. Or I before then I may look closer into the option suggested by one of the wonderful people here (sorry I'm not fully awake yet so I don't remeber who it was but it was a fellow steel belt wearer) I also want to change the lock system as they are going to offer a lock similar to the new Tollyboy locks and can/will do this for me also.

As for today, the first order of business will be to get up take a shower and do an extra good shaving (I want to be as smooth as possible for Mistress). I'll then have to pick out a pair of panties that I think Mistress will like. Once I get dressed with my panties, garter belt and hose under my drab clothes, I'll get everything together than I have to bring with me and put them in the truck. I'll then have breakfast with my son, then study for a few hours and when the time comes take him to his friends and head on up to Mistresses lovely place. (for those that don't know she has a lovely place up in the mountains)

Someone yesterday asked me what my expectations were. I responded that it wasn't about my expectations. And the more I thought about this, the more I feel my response was not only true but very important. My follow up was that my expectations were to please Mistress (and pet) and to ensure that she has a wonderful time. The only thing that I have a right to expect is to be treated with respect and to be safe and cared for (things that Mistress excels at). In other words it's not about me but about Mistress.

Of all that I've experienced this week is that peeing in a steel belt is a real pain. Other than that and the trim problem, I'm looking forward to being owned, and controlled.

Anyway, I think I'm starting to ramble and don't want to bore folks so just know that I'm looking forward to one of the most special days of my life. Thank you all for being my friends. And Mike, no luck except for the luck of already being allowed this pleasure.

 

Little pet,

Thank you for your kind words, but I"m not sure if you really want to hear all of the details nor a full recap. So what I'll do is give you the highlights as I'd miss a lot of very important details.

First, let my say that Mistress Michelle is more lovely than ever, and in her new dress, well let's just say that she looks stunning!!!

After arriving, I had the pleasure of chatting with Mistress and pet for a bit before she put me to work. It was so nice to see them after WAY TOO LONG, and I'm so happy to have had a little time to just spend catching up with them. Anyone who hasn't met them in person cannot understand what a pleasure it is just to sit and talk with them for a few minutes let alone serve Mistress.

After the small talk, Mistress worked me hard preparing for little pets visit. While I'm not allowed to say anything about this, all I can say is that I worked hard, and after finishing I was made to take a shower to get rid of all of the sweat for the hard work. I'll also add that I'm SO GLAD that I'm not Little pet as I would not be able to handle what he has coming. And I wish him well as he's really going to need it.

After my shower, the transformation to ginger took place. Mistress had me show her the dresses that I brought, and she had me wear my favorite maids outfit, along with my new garter belt and hose. I also wore one of my favorite bras, and my silicon breast forms. Mistress helped me with my hair (wig) and makeup. After a great deal of work, ginger appeared.

ginger prepared a simple diner for Mistress, pet and myself. While diner was cooking Mistress skinned the ginger root for use after diner. Then the meal was served. While it was simple it seemed to be very enjoyable to both Mistress and pet. ginger then did the dishes before reporting to Mistress for some fun.

One thing everyone must know is that ginger does not like spankings but Mistress insisted on using each of her striking devices on ginger's tender behind. Her crop, flogger, paddle, and a few other things which I can't recall right now provided a great deal of fun for Mistress as she inflicted pain on the aforementioned tender bottom.

Continuing the tender behind theme, ginger was put in a humbler, then made to present herself for Mistress for the figging. Let's just say that figging someone in a humble has the potential to hurt someone and should be done with extreme caution.

After some things I don't remember since things started bluring together here and that I am very tired I'll jump to the most important thing and that was Mistress accepting me as her submissive and taking ownership though the symbolism of locking my CB. Since I had more problem with my steel belt, Mistress had me wear a CB2k and locked it. At this point, I offically became the property of Mistress Michelle.

As everyone can imagine, I am now physically (work and intense play) and emotionally (becoming Mistress Michelle's sub) spent. One thing I'd like to do is to thank Mistress Michelle for being such a wonderful lady and let her and everyone else know that I intend to serve her well and show her the respect that she deserves.

humbly

tom
Property of Mistress Michelle

p.s. it's ironic that this is my 100th post here at the Mansion!