The beginning of my new journey

Yes, Mistress just informed me that my new name is ginger. I did forget to ask her if she wanted me to change my login name.

She also had me upload all of the pictures from yesterday and use the picture of her CB2k and its locked contents as my avatar. Looking at the picture, I have to say that it's a humilating feeling and really makes me feel like the sissy that Mistress is shaping me into.

 

Mistress was so kind and gave me a few last instructions before I turned in for bed. Earlier Mistress instructed me to start working with my pretty acrylic anal plug so that I'll be able to take it in me. So as instructed, I spent some time learning to relax and get it in further than I ever have. I'm sure that following Mistresses instructions I'll be able to please her next week by being able to take the full plug.

My last instruction of the night was one I think is much more difficult and that is I am now to sleep nude. This is hard as the only time I sleep well nude is when I'm snuggling someone. For some reason holding someone close in bed while nude is very comfortable while being alone is not. (go figure) Anyway, Mistress knows best and I have removed my very boring t-shirt and sweat pants to sleep (or attempt to) as Mistress wants me. It's going to be very difficult thinking of her all night, but since I'm extremely tired, we'll see how things go. Anyway, the most important thing is that Mistress is pleased, not if I'm comfortable or sleep well.

 

It's 4 a.m. I woke up. cold (as I like a cool room to sleep in and mine is the coolest in the place) and with Mistress Michelle's property straining against the CB2k. My smooth nude body against the fresh sheets (Sunday's I usually do laundry and wash the sheets). Ironically, before I went to bed, of all the pictures that appeared on the Mansion, the one of Mistress Michelle on her couch teasing with an exposed breast popped up. Talk about something to fall asleep to! But I suspect that it may be still in my mind teasing her property. Actually, I'm pretty sure it is and it's causing a little pain! Mind you we all know about that line between pleasure and pain, and I think I'm at the border of the two right now crossing back and forth.

Anyway, I'm going to attempt to go back to sleep for a few more hours. I hear what sounds like freezing rain and my phone just sent me a text that my son's school is delayed. So not only will today be a long day but it'll be a messed up long day. Rest will be needed to have a clear mind to deal with the chaos.

 

No disrespect Miss D, but beyond the innocent little girl that ginger plays, she really is quite the bad gurl.

Of course with little sleep and some minor adjustment issues from the CB she hasn't been able to sleep much. Also the image of MM sleeping all nice and snug as a bug in a rug, keeps ginger's mind wandering.

Anyway, I really should get a few more hours of shut eye or at least rest.

 

Miss D,

She said many things, and I'm sure it was probably said that way one time or another ;-) But yes she had many variations of that1

 

Bad day yesterday. It seems I couldn't take the pain of the rubbing of the ring any longer. I had to get permission to cut the pin off. I thought it was a minor rub and the cut was healing from the A&D cream that I was using. Well boy was I wrong. Lets just say that I considered a trip to the ER. But I did wait a bit and things seemed to be turning in the right direction. So I think I'll be ok.

I feel REALLY BAD as I really wanted to show Mistress how much I want to serve and please her. I feel like I've failed and I feel like I just can't do anything right, right now. I really wanted to keep the CB on until the next time I see Mistress. ARGGH

One thing that I can say, is that there is a reason that we all adore Mistress and that is that she really cares about us. Her reaction has been great, which I really appreciate. And on one side it makes me feel a little better, but on another it really makes me feel worse for getting hurt. To top it off, I had to send her a picture of the cut, and I really didn't want her to see how bad it was. So Mistress, I'm very sorry.

Anyway, I'll be ok. And I hope I didn't cause Mistress to worry about me too much.

 

Well Mike, let's just say I missed a very painful spot.

 

Just an update in case anyone cares. And to bore those who stumble into this. The cut is healing and Mistress had me send her a picture. Her comment was that it's still bad and that I won't be locked for awhile, which I of course knew. Of course, with the pain I'm in, I have not desire right now to be locked, but it was a terrible feeling hearing it said by someone else. I don't know why, but it just hurt, especially coming from Mistress. I guess because, I'm trying to hard to please her and show her how much I care and want to be locked by her, it's just very painful both figuratively and literally. But I have been a good boy and while not locked, I've been keeping busy and trying to get caught up on some work so the next time I see Mistress I won't have anything on my mind but pleasing her.

The good news is that while I'm getting better, the bad news is that I still feel horrible about this. And like a lot of other folks here, it seems that I'm in the beat myself up more than I should club. Thankfully, Mistress has been very kind to me and it's one of the reasons that I adore her so much (as do many others).

 

Thanks I think. Yes all wounds, just some heal faster than others, and some are deeper than others. In this case, the physical wounds were/are much worse than I expected which makes the emotional ones deeper than expected as I'm being very hard on myself for "trying to hard". Of course as we all know, this is very subjective and not an easy thing to figure out (I know I can't figure it out easily).

Of course, you're exactly right on the first part. A wonderful understanding Domme is so important to being able to truly submit and feel safe and secure, which in turn allows one to submit fully.

Anyway, this weekend was weird. Too much child related "stuff". Hopefully, next week, I'll have some time for me and as I heal, I'll be back on track.

 

Well after a terrible experience with my CB2k, and a summer of studying for exams, then taking them and passing them, I finally am now getting to the point of updating things here.

I must say that blogging or journaling has never been my thing. I am looking forward to going to the fall gathering and hope to see MM and pet before then (if possible). I've slowed down some but still am extremely busy. I guess I'm not one to let roots grow under me while I live life.

I've been online a little more the last month or two and that's great. Offline, I've spent some time with friends and gone to a few munches and socials. Work is still real busy, and I'm getting more exercise (even though the weight is still hanging on).

Otherwise, nothing real interesting to say here.

 

Well Maam, I'm not sure if I should be honored, worried, or a little of both. ;-)

 

Wow. Can't believe how long it's been since I've posted here. The fall gathering was a great time and I posted my comments in the thread on it.

Anyway, not much going on since then. Other than staying way too busy, and chatting with MM, and susie.

Today was a little hard for me as the holidays are always rough for me. Anyway, while chatting with MM she always has this magical way of saying just the right thing to make me feel better when I'm a little down. Well to make a long story short, at the end of our chat tonight she said something that really made me feel appreciated. And her timing was perfect. So thank you MM. Please know that while I'm still a little choked up, it's because I know how much you care for your pet, and all of us who belong to you. And I'll go to bed tonight knowing that you took the time make sure I was feeling good.

 

Well MM, I didn't realize it either. I guess since I posted in the gathering post, your journal, MW's and a few others, I must have thought that I had nothing else to say here that I haven't said some place else.

I guess right now, I"m just waiting to get home from visiting family. Sometimes the holiday's just brings out the worst in people. I'm looking forward to 2010 and hope that it's as productive as 2009. I'm also looking forward to getting more free time and spending some of that with friends, of whom MM and her pet are of course at the top of the list.

Otherwise, I don't really have much to say, other than I'll be happy when the holidays are over and I can get some work done and get ready for the new year (and decade).

 

Grrrrrr not sure what i did wrong but it seems that the post that I made when I got home last night (really early this morning) didn't save which is really annoying as I had just gotten back form MM's and her pet's for a long over due visit. Since I"m still alseep I'm just going to repost the main points.

Seeing MM and pet is always a very special treat for me. This time was an extra treat as susie was visiting and although susie and I chat privately and speak on the phone from time to time it was our first face to face meeting. I also had the extra pleausre of meeting MM's dad who is quite the gentleman, and it's clear where MM got many of her great qualiities from.

Well susie got introduced to MMs famous whippin bench. She also got to be the first to try out a new toy Santa brought MM.

MM was EXTRA kind to me this visit. I'd like to think it was because I've been good. In any case, the Rimba on the lower settings can be quite enjoyable (which even makes a few painful zaps on high not so bad). MM also used the new gift on me in a way that was very nice,. Seems the new toy can be very very nasty or very nice depending on how it's used. Let's just say that being good and getting it used like a back massager should be a goal all of MM's properties should aspire too. But getting it the bad way should be a goal to avoid.

As always MM looked Amazing and last night was no exception. I had forgotten about MMs eye surgery, and she asked me how it looked (man it sucks having a terrible memory), but having already let her know that she looked lovely and meaning it I guess saved my butt from a whippin. And for those who haven't met MM she's more beautiful in person than her pictures show.

As for pet, well pet is amazing. He continues to recover and I promised him a bottle of the wine he loves and was only allowed a taste of, when he's finally off all of the medications and fully recovers.

Since I'm soo tired since I got in late after the hour drive back from MMs (MM it was actually 1 hr 10 min exactly) I going to leave it here. Hopefully this post will stick and MM will see it before she logs in as I really wanted her to see what I posted when I got home. :-( Oh well.

 

Thank you Maam, well except for the impending increased pain ;-).

As for little pet, I hope he doesn't develop a hatred for Santa as I know the big guy was thinking more about your happiness than little pets tenderness when he picked out your present.