Stress, sex and D/s....

Discussion in 'Off topic discussions' started by Mistress Watchful, Mar 13, 2009.

  1. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Due to the route of conversation in xcite's blog I decided to start a stress thread...

    We are ALL subject to stress! It's out there for all to see in the blogs. All of us have moments where we just can't deal with "life" anymore.

    Is it harder to deal with stress in a D/s relationship? Does the D/s factor contribute to the stress?

    Or...

    Does the D/s help escape the stress of everyday life and help take you to a fantasy place where all is well (if a little painful!!!)?

    Thoughts please...
     
  2. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Replying for myself (Lol!)

    Although people tell me I have a stressful and excessively busy life (4 kids, doing a Masters, trying to keep on top of the house, getting ready to divorce...) I don't see my life as that different to anyone elses.

    I think this contributes massively to my stress. I figure that if everyone else can cope, why the hell can't I?!

    I would love to just "switch on" my inner Domme and play to get rid of my stress, but in my case I worry so much about the D/s thing that it stresses me further.

    Not a lot helps me deal with stress. I find the best thing (if I can get in the right frame of mind!) is to ask myself what is the cause of the stress, when will it be over, and what can I do to help make things easier?

    If it's something I can do nothing about, then I try to let it go... if it's something that I *can* do something about then I try and do a little bit and see if that gets me in the mood for doing more.

    Anyone else care to ramble?
     
  3. Mistress Michelle
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    Mistress Michelle Magical Mistress

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    Stress...now thats a word I never agreed with, never believed in, and never thought even existed.....untill December of 07
    A condensed story of how I became a believer...
    Dec 07 I had been taking care of My mom, she was becoming more and more ill, she was 85 and I had her in and out of the hospital, and then into a nursing home that Nov. Come Dec she was worse and I put her in the hospital. That evening My appendix ruptured and I end up in the same hospital with emergancy surgeory, and a 2 day stay. The day I was released was My birthday so I go upstairs to see My mom, and then home. I was sooo sick and was not doing well that week, and was unable to go into town to see My mom and she was unable to talk on the phone. I saw her that Sunday when I was released and she died on Thursday before I could get back into town. So, the last time I saw or spoke to My mom was on My birthday. The day after she passed which was Friday, I had an appt to have My staples out so pet takes Me into the doctors....I was soooo sick and shaking, and this nurse tells Me I dont look good, I told her what had happened and I was crying and so upset, she tells Me she believes I am under too much stress! Stress I say....I dont believe in stress!! She tells Me about it and how it can affect you even if you dont know its there and since talking with her I can see now how stress can be a factor in your health. I honestly believe thats what caused My appendix to rupture.
    Anyway, fast forward to this past Dec and it starts all over again, an anniversary of My moms death, My birthday I didnt even want to think about, and then pets accident and illness, this all happeneing at the same time as the year before with My mom. For all of those here that spoke with Me while we were in the hospital in Pa for 17 freakin days can attest to the fact that I was about to stroke out from stress!! So.......................
    Now I am a believer and take it more seriously.
    BUT, everyone handles it differently, I really think that if you are an optomist, as I am, you can deal a little better with it, or at least not allow it to turn into something else, like depression.

    I can say that this site, My stable, and all My friends here helped Me more than any of you could know. And now, having visitors like susie, tom, little pet and next week cks, has helped Me to cope with things. Its an outlet, and allows Me to be back in charge.
    MW...I dont understand how opening up your inner Domme is stressful to you, I think it would help you. I really think you need to find a sissy or sub over there to play with. Someone who could come by once a month, or week, so that you could explore your Domme self with someone other than your pet. There is a difference, trust Me. I know there are LOTS of them on this site that are close to you and would LOVE to be your property. Give it a try, I am sure you would love it and it would relieve alot of your stress! With every swing of that whip the stress just melts away....you just cant play the same with your pet, its different with an outside person. I encourage you to try, and dont stress over it! You are a beautiful Dominate Woman...take advantage of that....use it to your advantage. Once you do it once you wont want to stop....Hell, you could have a houseful of sissys and never have to lift a finger around the house again, and neither would your pet. It really is an exciting arousing feeling to have Ownership of someone, and besides, with all you have on your plate...you could use the help!!

    Mistress Michelle :sex020:
     
  4. caged bunny
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    caged bunny Junior Member

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    This is a good idea for a discussion :)

    For us, if either one of us is stressed and or tired then any kind of D/s activity is usually a bad idea. Play is relaxing, but for us we both have to be in at least a neutral state of mind first. When there is something weighing on your mind it is hard to let go and let yourself drift into the moment. During these times when I have distracting thoughts, any pain received is just that: painful. This can even help to make me a lot more frustrated/stressed.

    For Helene it's kind of the same. Oh how nice it would be if she could de-stress by working out her worries on my behind, but just like me if she is not in the mood then she is not in the mood and would rather de-stress by flopping down at the computer.

    On the other hand though, although she wont get anything from dominating me when she is stessed, me submitting to her can be very helpful. Little back rub and pampering is always good I suppose
     
  5. susie q
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    susie q Dear friend of the Mistress Michelle clan

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    Mercy i can sure relate to this post but im not going to ramble on about my troubles. I agree with MM maybe you should take advantage of your resourses MW as i know many would give thier right arm to serve you.I know when i went to MMs to help it took my mind off of all the things that were going on in my life and it was a wonderful experience and i hated to leave but life trudges on. I believe that you have so much going on (kids,school,and just plain timming is a major factor with you)i dont know how you do it.Well anyways good luck with everything i think you are much stronger than you give yourself credit for and hang in there we all love you very much.:love0028:
     
  6. susie q
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    susie q Dear friend of the Mistress Michelle clan

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    Ok im gonna ramble a little its so strange that MM and i were just talking about this very subject yesterday.As in my case divorce ,moving ,mom dies,two more deaths in the familly on and on and seemed to all just happen at once and back to back.At a point i thought of taking my own life but im better than that (bring it on mother f..kers )ill handle it spring is comming hugssssssssssssssssss:character0109:
     
  7. MasterG63
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    MasterG63 Senior Member

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    Someone once said that 'Stress' is the physioligical manifestation of what happen to the human body when is supresses the irrepresable desire the beat the living crap out of somthing (or someone!)

    Maybe they were right? :licking:
     
  8. susie q
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    susie q Dear friend of the Mistress Michelle clan

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    Theirs an idea Master G but im not mean dammit lol:manga_champers:
     
  9. Mistress Michelle
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    Mistress Michelle Magical Mistress

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    susie....I am the beater....you are the beaten. Lets not confuse your role as a sissy, you dont get to Do any whippins, just get them, which really should be a good stress reliever in itself!!

    Mistress Michelle :sex020:

    And I will 'stress' this important fact once again....It is alot different having a sub or sissy to take your agression out on rather than only to your own mate!
    And as for the mood.....I am not always in a Domme/Mistress mood, but anytime I know I am having company I can switch into that mind set REAL fast!! It is a wonderful feeling....POWER, gotta LOVE it!!
     
  10. PT109
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    PT109 Senior Member

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    From my tiny spec of the universe it seems more likely that stress reduction would occur for the sub than the Domme. The reason being that the sub reduces stress by giving up responsibility and control and simple does what he is told or what he knows is expected of him. The Domme on the other hand must retain control and power in a responsible way. Having been a switch I know that even though this is a thrilling feeling (having complete power exchange in your favor) it is not without a little stress. You certainly cannot afford to relax all inhibitions and possibly injure your sub by letting yourself get carried away. I suppose that for many of the Mistresses on this site this is not too stressful because they are naturally kind and even at their most enthusiastic they would not inflict any real damage. But I'm sure that for some and for male dominants it can be different. Especially for those who operate so close to the edge and regularly bruise or break the skin I don't see how the play can be a stress reliever in itself. Maybe when they finally cum and can relax in the afterglow of their power. But for the sub, for me anyway D/s play is nothing but a stress reliever. I think that's why so many of us fantasize about being sub 24/7.
     
  11. susie q
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    susie q Dear friend of the Mistress Michelle clan

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    Hmmm What did i say Mistress ?????? i know my place Curtsey:bad-girl-0009:?????????
     
  12. susie q
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    susie q Dear friend of the Mistress Michelle clan

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    now im stressed and confused ??
     
  13. madamsboy
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    madamsboy Looking for a special female

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    I have to agree with these sentiments.

    of course some subs get stresed from lack of domme time. :scared0016:
     
  14. disciplinedpet
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    stressed !!

    well as you may have seen by my MOOD , i've been stessed for some time now. There are alot of things that are factoring into my "stress". (too many to list) things like , when will i be able to walk !, how will we be able to handle things (ie money , no insurance! bills!, what will i "be able to do" as far as providing for my Wife/Mistress! will i have further complications ?? this Syndrome could happen again! i am not able to " be a playmate for my wife/Mistress as have been accustomed too. I have limited Movement & legs/feet are healing at 1 inch per month! Looks like approx. 30 months for them to "heal" properlt. I am very aware that this could have been much worse! i am thankful for just having to deal w/what i have. so yes there is Stress in our life! I am just thankful that My Wife/Mistress , has an outlet for her stress. I have no problem w/her having subs & sissys for her to be able to "decompress". I can say that i miss our activities , they certainly are a great outlet for releiving everyday STRESS ! Thanks Mistress Watchful for a very good subject. wish you the best , disciplinedpet :character0182::anim_37:
     
  15. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I must say it wasn't my idea to bring up this subject... it was something occurring naturally in xcite's journal!

    Mistress Michelle, I regret every day that I didn't make it to your place last year... ask pet how often he catches me checking out flights to come and see you! Of course at the moment the house, end of term, and everything else is a bit of a nightmare... but it sure would be good to come over and have you supervise me in the world of subs and sissies!

    As for why I feel stressed about being Domme... it's mainly that fantasy that was in pet's head that I never felt I lived up too. And on the few moments that I pushed the envelope, it all went a bit pear-shaped!

    I know there are a lot of people who have had it far FAR worse than me, and maybe "stress" isn't the right word for this conversation, given it's far more serious connotations.

    I just wondered how other people deal with it in their sex lives, vanilla or not!
     
  16. susie q
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    susie q Dear friend of the Mistress Michelle clan

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    Im sorry Mistress Watchful and Mistress Michelle i got way off the subject (sex life thats a laugh for me )i dont have one. I never should have replyed to this to this it just struck a nerve and i know first hand what others our going threw and it sucks.Im very very very sorry and MM and pet good lord what was i thinking i love you all. Back to work silly gurl :chores011:
     
  17. Mistress Michelle
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    Mistress Michelle Magical Mistress

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    MW...I know you will make it here someday, hopefully not too long from now! I'd like to still be young enough to swing a crop!! I know you have alot going on, but all things in life slow down at some point before speeding up again, the key is to jump on the plane at just the right time! At any rate, we will be here so anytime thats good for you will be great, and I am sure that My subs and sissys will come a runnin when they know you will be around!!

    susie..you have had as much stress in your life as anyone else recently so dont you be concerned about posting to a stress thread! And for the no sex part...LOL, poor little sissy, maybe I will let you 'play' soon!

    Mistress Michelle :sex020:
     
  18. cks
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    cks Banned

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    wonderful thread Mistress Watchful and very overdue in my humble opinion and that's will i'll stop. thank You!

    the scary teddy bear <winks>
     
  19. susie q
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    susie q Dear friend of the Mistress Michelle clan

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    Mistress Watchful this is my last reply on this subject and i wish there was something i could do or say that would help but i know theirs nothing. This post brought up so many bad memories i wsh i had never looked at it.Anyways i was starting to fall in love with a very good friend of mine and we are going on a cruise in november and couldnt wait but it seems she is dying of emphazema which i didnt know to recently and will be lucky to make it until then (fuck ME).Anyhoooo MM and me spoke of this and agreed i cannot set myself up for another heartbreak disaster like that ughhhh anyway MW never feel alone life is whipping are asses across the board and your never alone here my thoughts an best wishes always (and a hug if i may )Curtsey :sad0064:
     
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