Question on how to respond to wife

I was uncaged last night, for the first time in a while. I used a delay spray on the Cock, and we enjoyed some PIV action. We didn’t have intercourse for long, to avoid the danger of an ejaculation. One observation was that my wife could not manage to orgasm afterwards with her vibrator- she wondered if the delay spray on the Cock had de-sensitised her because we’d been doing some PIV. Anyone know if that is a danger?
Anyway, despite neither of us coming we both had a lovely time. As she got up to get dressed I was left lying there with a rock hard erection. It felt so good after weeks of being caged. And I was so glad I hadn’t cum and wasted the feeling of satisfaction..

 

I have read that some delay products do transfer if you go right to PIV. I use a product called Promescent and have been very happy with it. I can still feel everything, but no more premature ejaculation. They advertise that it does not transfer and that seems to be the case for us. My wife has never sensed that she was affected by it.

 

If you suffer from premature ejaculation as I did, her refusal is unfortunate. My PE was having very real impact on both of our self-esteem and confidence, and the lack of intimacy that resulted from my performance anxiety and subsequent disappointment made everything worse. It was my urologist who suggested a desensitizer. I’m not understating to say it salvaged our sex life and likely our marriage. Once my wife understood my PE was a physical (nerve) issue, treating it like any other medical concern made sense.

 

I would not want to advise you, but I can give you an idea of my own experience. I was in a rather similar situation and I have found a chastity device of real value. Once I have overcome the post orgasmic slump I find it difficult to resist giving myself an orgasm particularly at night and that interferes with my sleep. I find such an orgasm is not very pleasurable and puts me into another slump.

I started trying to make a satisfactory chastity device many years ago and am still trying. Even so, some of the attempts worked reasonably well. When I am locked up I become a better husband and my wife does not need to feel guilty if I don’t get orgasms. After all, I can’t expect an orgasm if I am locked up and I brought that upon myself by making the device, locking it on and handing over the key. These days she just tells me to lock up and drop the key in the slot in the top of the safe. She checks too!

One problem, which I have hinted at already, is that an effective chastity device is difficult find. For me at least, it is important that I really can’t slip out of it as well as it being safe and reasonably comfortable. I have to be allowed to remove it for swimming, cycling and some of the more strenuous DIY activities. That rather spoils the dynamic but I have never cheated when released for those reasons.

If you think that the chastity device approach is right for you, I think Subrick is right that you need to be prepared. If your wife is happy that you are experimenting then you can try devices by self-locking. I use a timer like this https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/391882015117 if I’m allowed some experimenting time. You might find that there is no way you can wear a device, on the other hand your wife might pick up on the benefits to her and insist you do.

You may be interested in something that happened this morning. It is two or three weeks since my last orgasm. This morning my wife had to go out. She gave me the key and said “Maybe it is time you had a clear out down there” but then added “You don’t have to if you don’t want to.” I did not really want to face a post orgasm drop and I rather got the impression she did not want me like that either, so I immediately locked the key with a timer until I expected she would be back. One of the first things she said when she got back was “Have you gone off .” When I said no she said “Good, get it back on, lock it and drop the key in the safe.”