New to the site and the world of chastity. I have been lurking around for about a month.My wife and I decided to get a cage as fun toy and found I liked being locked more than unlocked. Currently in a silicone cb6000s with a ghost. This is proving to be a little difficult for us though. I'm naturally a switch but will switch daily sometimes. She is naturally a submissive in the bedroom. But is defiantly dominant during normal life. I spent a couple weekends locked up with quite a bit of tease and denial. We started 24/7 lock about 4 days ago. I've been teased a few times and was given 2 ruined last night. She, well she's gotten a bit more lol. I'm hoping we are both able to adjust to it over the next few weeks. Ultimately we started this for different reasons than most. I have always had a very high sex drive wanting sex daily, getting mad when she didn't want to. This is forcing me to submit to her control and even though I have a lot of frustration the emotional moments that are becoming more common are definitely worth it. She let's me out when she wants and gives or takes what she wants. She has already told me that once the ghost arrives it will be at least a week between Os. She hasn't decided when I get too during this current lock up. Or at least won't tell me! Sorry for the long post just wanted to introduce us and see what others say about things we have been doing.
Thanks. It's definitely a rollercoaster ride!! Just when I think my urges have minimized I get hit by a truck sized one lol!
Welcome. You need to realize that chastity play is built on a foundation of a power exchange. That exchange cannot be given and taken at will. What you have is a fetish. It is just not a chastity fetish. Chastity is not being locked up. In fact, no device is necessary for chastity. Chastity is giving your wife control over your orgasms all the time and not only when you are in the mood to do so. If you cannot handle that, perhaps chastity is not for you. If you continue the way you are, your wife will not feel like a keyholder and certainly will not feel like she has control over your penis. She will feel that you still have control and she is just doing as you say as a submissive. You have the lock up your penis part but where is the chastity part? The great majority of people who buy a device stop locking up after the initial excitement wears off and it will do so soon. You are not off to a good start. Chastity is not for everyone and that is OK. We all have our sexual preferences when it comes to chastity and the urge to orgasm is our strongest urge so if you cannot control that, you know the rest. I am very dominant and yet gave control of my penis to my wife. I go months between orgasms while my wife has a few each week. She decides when and how we have sex. If I try to take control back she will hand me the keys and tell me that she does not want to play our chastity game anymore. She would be right in doing so. Also, the fact that you can easily masturbate when locked up, means that you need to want to be orgasm free for as long as your key holder says. If not, you can masturbate every day if you want. Hope you make it but you never will under your present circumstances. You need to decide if you can transfer power to your wife full time when it comes to your penis or not. I know what it is like. I used to tell my wife to whip me and engage in all sorts of BDSM stuff. She is not dominant and does not like to hurt anything so she went through the motions and I realized that I was simply dominating myself through my wife. When I finally had a real dominant women, what I used to do was nothing like what she did with me. Two different fetishes that are similar but not the same by a long shot.
I thank you for the detailed response. There are many points I agree with and some that I don't. Ultimately the chastity lifestyle is giving control to your keyholder and your keyholder doing what they want from that point forward yes? Being it is completely new to us we both have found faults in each other and ourselves. Yes just because I've been caged doesn't mean I have submitted. I understand a lot of this is mental and I'm finding I am mentally wanting less control. Your judgement of whether it will work or not for us is based off your version of chastity. There are many versions of it though. Whether it's long term denial or just short term sex drive control. You are correct saying it may or may not work for us but at this time it is. We are both happy with how it's going. Which to us is more important than fitting into the "correct way" of doing it.