Newbie Introduction: baldwizard

Okay, so my wife and I have been getting into this recently and in a quest to learn more, to have more tricks available I decided to start hunting the internet for more information. I found this site which has been great for information, and then of course I see the Foyer and it says to post and introduction and not to be a lurker. Well in acceptance of my new submissive mindset I decided I better follow instructions.

So to give some background about me and why I'm here. First, I have to say my wife doesn't know about this site but I may be sending her a link soon.

My wife and I have only been married for almost 2 years now, but we've been together for about 10. About 6 years ago we started getting kinky in our relationship. We messed around with Strapons, D/s roleplay (very vanilla compared to most), and toyed with the idea of Chastity devices. We bought a CB3000 and played with it some. Was never really that serious. Eventually most of the toys were packed away and forgotten.

I think some of the things I had issues with was accepting how much I enjoyed the strapon, being submissive, and things of that nature. Some of my own raising and experiences in life where I was bullied and such led me to feel I had to have this strong typical front of being a "man". And then to give that up in the bedroom was an internal issue, regardless of how much I really really really enjoyed it. To some degree I was scared of losing her or having her look at me different, along with many other issues.

Fast forward to the last year. Well I have never really gotten all those past things out of my head. I still always fantasized about them but was not confident enough to really feel like I could be honest with my wife about them. I've even recently been looking at other progressions of cuckolding and things of that nature which could be interesting although an extreme case of "Careful what you wish for".

Anyway in the last year, the wife has gotten more and more distant when it comes to sexual interest. And of course the more distant she got, the more masturbation and porn I would watch, which only made the issue progressively worse. I became the definition of "two pump chump". At one point just for fun when we were fooling around I got out one of the dildo's we had packed away and convinced her to let me use it on her and in pretty short order she was moaning and getting off like I've never seen her before. Afterwards while she was still all worn out and breathing heavy I asked a couple questions about if she had ever experienced anything like that before. I found out essentially that I have never gotten her off vaginally before. NEVER BEFORE. If that isn't a hit to the ego I don't know what is.

For awhile that put me in a crappy mood, but eventually I realized that I can groan and moan about it or I can start looking to find out what I can change about it. So I've been doing a wide range of things.

Now, my wife is generally, how do I put this? Maybe timid? She isn't very creative when it comes to these kinky things. Everything and anything we do is initiated by me. If I ask her about fantasies or ideas or anything she always says I don't know, what do you think? Some of it might be a confidence issue? I know I have also read that women tend not to completely let their "kinkiness" out with the person they love. I do know she loves me very much as I do her. And it is tough letting that side out in fear of what the other person might think or say. So that may be part of it, but that is just complete speculation on my part.

So where are we now?

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Well the last month and a half we've implemented orgasm denial and some intermittent chastity device use. I've stopped fighting on any topics of her using the strapon (she really enjoys it, makes her very wet). So instead of trying to be "manly" and pretend like I don't really want it, I've been embracing it and being more submissive.

I wrote up a contract in regards to the orgasm denial that outlines the rules. She didn't have much input but agreed with everything. I'm only allowed 2 orgasms a month, not withstanding ruined orgasms. They are only to ever occur with her permission, so she can deny them if she chooses, and even if I have permission to use an orgasm I'm never allowed to do it solo, and I'm required to ask for permission to cum within 10 seconds of doing so. So if it takes longer than 10 seconds I have to ask again, or if she chooses to say not yet then I have to delay. Which gives her the opportunity to force me into edging at least within 10 seconds of my orgasm. Oh yeah, naturally it is agreed that she must ALWAYS get off first, however that might be. The contract states that during her time of the month if it fell on the end of the month and choose to allow me to use my final orgasm without her getting off first, she "might" allow it but that would be the only situation where she didn't get off first.

That's the general gist of the contract but it's about 2 pages long so there is more to it. So far in the last 6 weeks I've gotten off 3 times. Each time she has gotten off first of course. I have maintained my part of the contract even without being locked up in chastity device, she does use it sometimes though. It's making me much more intimate. She even said it used to seem to be all about me, but now I'm going down on her every day if I could even though I get nothing. I'm giving her foot rubs, serving her coffee in bed in the morning.

It's really helped our relationship as a whole. She's embracing it more but not completely. She's made me eat my own cum (only after my prompting) a couple times now. Once after she let me use an orgasm inside her, that was actually really hot but really hard. To be sucking my own cum out of her pussy. It's really hard after I've gotten off, but still exciting.

She's been teasing a little bit, but not a lot. Time is part of the problem. I think another part is her being timid. The last time I got off was this last Saturday and I went down on her and got her off and then begged her to have sex but that I wouldn't be using a release that I just wanted to enjoy making love to her and not release. Well I progressed very slowly, very controlled. Since being not allowed to orgasm solo anymore if I have masturbated at all it is only edging and learning how to control myself so that has helped. Well I was doing really well I just kept pacing my speed as needed to maintain control. Eventually, I got to a point where I was keeping a decent pace and keeping control. She starts using her legs to pull me into her and starts saying she wants me to fuck her harder. (strong language compared to normal) In a very controlled manner I use a little more force and maintain pace. And she starts building up. She actually got off, it was amazing to watch. The first time I've ever gotten her off myself, vaginally. And in the process I went over the edge and came as well.

Oops. That was my last release this month. Plus I didn't ask permission for the release or right before the release. She let it all slide though. At the very least I had gotten her off twice prior, which is the primary goal of this entire experiment to make sure she is getting more pleasure.

Sometimes I do wish she was a little more dominating, a little more teasing, controlling. A little more confident, and not willing to let me get away with my little defiant comments. I've been trying to not say them though either as it doesn't help her feel in control I'm sure.

Yesterday she said that I was playing with myself too much even though I wasn't getting off I still play with myself and don't get things done that I need to. So she said she was going to lock me up during the week for work (I work from home) so that I could get my work done and if I'm good she'll let me out at night.

I enjoy the entire being submissive and giving up that control. But those chastity devices are very uncomfortable. I experience chaffing, pinching, that kind of thing. I've been experimenting with the various adjustments that can be made. I have it about as comfortable as it can be. It's not too bad now.

Today she prompted me to put it back on. And I asked if we could make an agreement that if I play with myself during work hours that I will be punished. She didn't have any idea of punishment, and wanted me to come up with a punishment that she might accept if I wanted to be free. The agreement was if I got caught, of course she said actually you need to be honest and I agreed, so if I come forward there is punishment if I get caught the punishment is worse.

I was prepared to come up with several items. Like to earn it I needed to give her foot rubs every day, and if I fail I will get 10 swats with the paddle as hard as she can muster, plus I have to double the foot rubs and include a back rub every day, plus loose a release next month. But I said the swats with the paddle first and she accepted those terms, saying but only if I can do it hard enough that you don't enjoy it, otherwise I'll come up with a new punishment. So I got off easy so far.

I guess I should stop trying to get off easy, but I do wish she'd be more dominant on her own also. I'm not sure how far because I want to be careful what I wish for, but definitely more than she is now.

I've also fantasized about her cuckolding me. I think it would be AMAZING to watch her being pleasured by another man. Of course that's a very dangerous careful what you wish for scenario. I think I would still want to have what we have now, just add in extra like her having sex with other men also. Especially if I get to watch, actually preferably only if I get to watch. I love her and that intimate experience to watch her get off. I have gotten her off once now, but I'm sure someone better endowed could do it much easier, and it would be amazing to watch it more frequently that I could do. Of course once you get into a cuckold scenario the woman makes those rules, she may decide to never allow me to orgasm at that point, she may never allow me to watch, it may end up turning into my own personal private hell, and I may end up enjoying that also, I don't know.

For now though, I have brought up cuckolding occasionally as a joke. She has completely thrown out that conversation. Once when I mentioned her sleeping with other men as a joke and saying I'd be okay as long as I got to watch she said "What are you gay now?" So that didn't go well. Then more recently when we have been talking and researching Orgasm Denial she has come across a lot of the cuckolding stuff because they go hand in hand a lot. And she said that it's ridiculous and it's just an excuse to cheat. Now I haven't dug into that comment about if she thinks it's an excuse for the women to cheat or the men to also cheat or what blocks she has there.

Naturally, because I'm still unsure of if I want to "wish" for that. I haven't really pushed the issue. I think as long as I'm a part of my wifes life and get to be a part of pleasuring her I'd enjoy it. I have found I really enjoy being submissive. I really enjoy completely giving over control if she'd take it.

Anyway thats where we are now. I'm here because I really like what I've seen so far, and I'm looking forward to finding more information to share with the wife.

(wow this post ended up being long, sorry)

 

Great points Max, As I mentioned it's not something I've ever pushed for, or even sure if I wanted. I've heard of a few rare cases of it working out, but those are pretty rare, and I'm aware of several of the reality issues.

I know that I would have to accept the outcome however it ended up playing out, even if it wasn't a part of my fantasy as you pointed out. That is if I truly was doing it for her pleasure.

To be honest, it used to be something that I really wanted before Saturday. But since I actually finally was able to do what I needed to do to get my wife to finish by myself. The desire or even consideration of such a fantasy has been deeply diminishing. Now I realize it's not so much that I'm not adequate enough to pleasure my wife sexually, it's more of I need to put more effort into it.

So my thoughts or fantasies have been evolving so to speak if only for the last 3 days. One of the reasons I've found this site and registered on it, was because it was the chastity contract and giving her control of my orgasms that has be one of the key points that has allowed, and lead me to the ability to give her an orgasm vaginally.

My Main focus is more of the chastity information. What is going to work for us. I'm lucky that I do have the relationship I have, so it's going to be important that I figure out ways to make that relationship better. And you are right that the cuckold lifestyle will probably only doom it to be worse, if not destroy it. I only mention it because it was a part of my thoughts before and still in the back of my mind as a small fantasy.

I'm sure as you say, many men think it's like live porn, and in reality it's very different. And truly my focus is not my fantasies, but her pleasure along with working in both of our fantasies. After Saturday it was the first time I've really felt amazing after having sex. Normally even though I get off, I feel horrible I wasn't able to do the same for her. That's definitely changing and we are moving in the correct direction I think.

I do need to avoid or put away the cuckold thoughts and discussion though. Thanks for the wake up call.