Thought I would write this post to document just how much things have changed in my Marriage and sex life. Recently had my longest period of denial come to an end after 2 months (61 days) I had been allowed to take the cage off 4 times for PIV for a total of about 15 minutes during the streak. No cumming and other than that it was 24/7 in my Red Chili Lily Cage. It was during PIV that I came and I didn’t exactly have express permission, it just happened because my Mistress has the most amazing pussy that grips my little cock so tight. I just couldn’t help it. so then back in the cage and another 5 days go by and we are playing again. She unlocks it because She wants to use my cock to bring Her over the edge. And that’s when it happened. As I climbed on top and felt the head of my cock begin to make contact with Her labia, I lost it. I did not even make it inside. Ceased all stimulation and watched my cum flow out into my open hand without any pressure or spurting. Just a sad dribble coming out of the tip for a completely ruined orgasm. Mistress was disappointed as She was hoping to cum on the little dick. The thing is, I never had a chance. I knew the outcome was inevitable. There was simply no way I would’ve been able to Fuck Her to an orgasm and not cum. I used to be a guy with Stamina! For what I lacked in size, I could still always hold off my orgasm until She came first, or even cum together if I wanted. I had that much control. No more. I fear that this is going to prove to be the catalyst that ends my days of being able to penetrate my Wife. From Her point of view; why take it out if it isn’t going to be a useful tool to bring on Her orgasms? 4 times of PIV (this was #5) in two months is really not a bad clip. That’s an average of once every 12 days or so. Days of orgasms and shooting cum had ended for me already, but I still had the privilege of feeling my Wife’s exceptional pussy, somewhat regularly. I don’t think I am going to be allowed anymore which really sucks because I love being inside of Her. The intimacy, the closeness, and the connection that I feel when I penetrate Her, there’s nothing like it. Over. Does anyone else remember the moment when you realized that your cock was truly useless to your owner? She would always tease me and say things like, “that little dick is useless and belongs in that cage”, or “ if it wasn’t so small I’d probably use it more often”. But I know that deep down She didn’t really see it as useless. She liked having it inside of Her and especially liked to cum on it. I just don’t think She is going to trust me to fuck Her anymore. I don’t see the path back to that and it’s hard for me to accept. All comments, questions, and words of advice are welcome. thanks for reading
Unless she said something to this level, I would assume nothing will change. This might be something your wishing for… possibly? But sounds like she enjoys your tiny useless pecker
Maybe try having more stamina training. Be let out to be edged and then back in. Or piv till your close and then stop. Also seems to be more of a mental thing as well. On your last time out you hyped up the event so much in your head that you came before you even touched her. Other suggestions would be take a Viagra and use a numbing cream on yourself that way you won't feel a thing and you'll be able to go as long as she wants. Granted might be difficult to put the cage back on for a bit. Or maybe just try numbing cream and no Viagra. Good Luck to you. All is not lost. There are ways to help train you back to where you were. Just takes time and practice and patience and you key holder willing and wanting to train you back up to par.
@SubDee on a side note if you don't mind me asking how do you like your red chili cage. Once upon a Time I wanted to get the exact cage that you got I just thought it was really artistic and aesthetically pleasing. But I decided to go with the sissy cage because it was cheaper and it would be my first case from them I wasn't sure what quite to expect and if I would have to send it back for adjustments a lot. Anyways long story short I never really could get used to their cage it wasn't quite exactly right I can only wear for a couple of hours but now that I have a bit more experience with the sizes that I need or feel most comfortable I might look into getting another cage from them but it'll probably be the London Tower cage. I'm not sure where you live but I live in the United States and it would be such a hassle and cost more money than I'd like to invest to get a cage from them to have to send it back multiple times to make adjustments especially since they're overseas and I'd have to pay more shipping and custom fees. So I was just wondering how much you actually liked your red chili cage and how long did it take you to actually get it dialed in to fit you well to where you weren't having to take it off due to chafing or irritation or whatever the case may be
Yes, numbing cream! Would be so much easier. anyway, my KH and I both love the red chili cage. It has been on me for almost 6 months with very little time out. No chaffing or skin irritation at all. I think I nailed the measurements because I had experience with so many other cages by that point, including a custom QK from MM. I am in the US as well. I also had a fair amount of back and forth with Aken, just to make sure I understood what the measurements should be because it differs from one custom cage designer to the next. He was super helpful and prompt via email and I would rate customer service 10/10. I knew how far off my MM device was from perfection so as long as I understood where RC’s measurements begin and end, I knew I could get it right. And I had to get it right because my Queens Keep was over $400 usd and was always causing skin irritation around the 1.75 inch ring, but if the ring had been a little bigger, I think it would be too big. They could’ve made the adjustment to 1’-13/16’ which likely would’ve stopped the irritation but would’ve made it stupidly easy for cock to slip out. So down over $400, I’d better get it right. And I did, after the add ons and mods my lily cage was over $600 usd. But it never has irritated my skin, I don’t really need to apply lube at all. The way the shaft is thinner than the head, slip-out is impossible. And with the 4 disciplinary spikes that my Wife wanted on it installed, pulling out of it would be awful, painful, and probably bloody. so both KH and me are really happy with it. Now, it turns out that as months have passed, there is definitely more room in the cage than there used to be. I think just a little bit of shrinkage due to wearing it 24/7 and not being allowed to have many full erections and stretch it out and I’ve actually gotten smaller. My Wife has mentioned getting me a smaller cage and we would likely get another red chili. The only way we’d shop somewhere else would be if I end up with a PA piercing and we need a cage for that (I don’t think red chili has a PA cage design) I think I have a picture of my cage on this site somewhere
@SubDee very cool. I had bought my mm queens keep just before I bought my red chilie sissy cage as well. But I've only been dabbling in chastity and still have not gotten the queens keep just right. I'm somewhere between 38mm and 40mm base ring which is 1 1/2 and 1 5/8 base rings. The larger one is I feel just slightly too big since I can get my index finger inside all the way to my hand and the smaller one is I can barely get to the begging of my nail bed. I wish they did in between sizes. I've also sent the gap back for adjustments prob 3 different times going up 1/4 each time. I am currently at 1/2 gap right now, and still get ball burn but not as bad. They're suggesting to go up another 1/4 for gap. They had told me they have done gaps as larger as 1 inch before. Apparently I have really high and tight scrotum and testies. I am thinking maybe I'll have them adjust the gap 1/4 larger on both rings and have them make me another 1 1/2 base ring but oval this time and match all the gaps as the rest of the rings and see how that works and which ring feels the best. Unfortunately I prob won't try red chilli again until I get my mature metal cage dialed in and can wear long term with no issues. I did notice the the like the lily cage the queens keep uses flat bar for the entrance of the cage which when I use the smaller ring and my body trys to have an erection over night I have sometimes woke up with a bruise on the skin on the top left and right sides of the excess skin that gets trapped on the upper portion of the sides. Not sure if they would widen or could even weld a round bar the the entrance of the qk cage like the updated version of the lily cage.
My Wife wiped away my stamina as well, it would be nothing to go 45 mins or more and now I can still have piv with her till she gets her orgasm or two, but it requires me to change pace, pause, switch positions and go very slowly. My Wife absolutely loves that she’s taken that “power” away from me, and usually she just wants very slow cuddly piv now any way. So it’s a win for her all around. I will use Numb Master 5% lidocaine mostly just on the glans and just underneath the glans, we’ll only use this when I’ve been denied piv for a longer time. We usually have piv about once a week on average the last year or more. So I don’t need the numbing cream very often, but if she’s wanting a more vigorous session it’s useful, she’s not into dildos much but she will have me use a strap on for her occasionally if she’s wanting to mess with me and have a harder fuck. I too wear a Red Chili cage, a quite small Sissy cage, it’s amazingly comfortable. Bought here in the classifieds early this year and it’s on 24/7 unless she’s wanting to use her penis or tease it. I sleep in it, and I’ve only been allowed one day of freedom this year, Father’s Day she allowed me to swing free for the morning and afternoon and lock up after some piv that evening. She will allow me to sleep cage free about 2-3 times a month for “penis health”. I’ve owned about 10 cages, most cheap Chinese varieties, and a couple MCN cages which were great also, but this Red Chili cage has been perfect!
MM does in between sizes up to 1/16 of an inch as far as I know. I don’t think it’s an option on the website though, you just have to call them
tl;dr: It’s not the dick that is not useful, rather the person doing the fucking. Give up being the fucker and embrace being the fucked. FWIW when my stamina diminished to the point you are at, is the point that my wife switched from being the one getting fucked during PIV to the one doing the fucking during PIV. She is now the top, controlling the pace, position, duration etc of PIV. I tell her if I am getting close and she will give me a break before resuming if she is not fully satisfied. This took some adjusting for both of us to learn but, she can now have PIV with more control over my orgasms and also has more orgasms herself compared to when I was the one doing the fucking, including prior to me being caged. Also, when she is wanting PIV she gives me viagra to help with things; if I need to mentally distract myself from my wife’s amazing pussy, the viagra keeps me rock hard for her continued enjoyment. This way I don’t have to worry about getting soft if I distract myself too much. My wife is now thoroughly fulfilled and exhausted after PIV and we have a much better sex life because I submitted to her being the top.
@submascpartner that's my fav position. Lol her on top and me on the bottom. She can control a d do what she needs to hit her spot and know just how to make me loose it too. Plus being on top is cardio. And no one wants to do cardio lol.
I've never had an owner but I do remember when I accepted the fact that I was no longer a sexual penetrator. What a relief it was 20 years ago. I really enjoy how you express your situation. Hope you still feel loved.
Much of what you wrote is similar for me. I've been locked for about two week. Last weekend (one week in), I was unlocked so my wife could have some pleasure. Barely got inside her and I came. No fun for me, definitely no fun for her. I had promised her that I wouldn't let my chastity affect her enjoyment or our intimacy in a negative way at all. Well, first time out and all I had managed to do was show her how miserable of a lover I may have become. It was a real down for me. I felt pretty useless. My wife finds that very unattractive. She does not want a sissy-boy. I do my best to eat her to orgasm but I knew that was not what she wanted. Fast forward about a week and I'm let out again. Sure, I'm worried but I'm brave I guess. You know what? I was as good as I ever was. Brought her to multiple orgasms, and had one of my own. So, I guess my fear was unfounded. I guess sometimes I will cum quicker. Sometimes I cum like normal. Don't loose hope. Just convince your wife you need lots of practice now.
My situation is similar to what submascaprtner said. I am not allowed on top during sex. My wife mounts me and rides me to an orgasm. I am not allowed to move so I just serve as her sex toy. It takes a lot of concentration for me to not cum, but I have been trained and conditioned by her to not cum during sex. It is mind blowing to hear her orgasm and eel her body orgasm around me while I remain still and try not to orgasm. It makes me feel extremely submissive to her. If I do feel like I will cum, I let her know and she takes a short break and starts again. It's odd but sometimes in this position the pleasure is not great for me so I can last long, but other times it feels incredible and it's hard for me to hold back, especially when she is riding me hard and fast. I think the amount of pleasure for me depends on the angle she is sitting and how deep she slides down one me. Maybe ask your wife to experiment with this. If I was on top I don't think I would last. I've been on the bottom for so long that It would feel strange and unnatural for me to be on top