Mental Chastity - A good start as desires are closer to reality

I've been considering this a while, and have posted various steps I've taken with my wife and various incidents that have occurred so I thought it was fitting to share my current state of mind and realizations.

I would appreciate hearing from anyone if they would like me to keep posting updates and any suggestions on actions I should take.

I started reading about chastity without the actual cage and this lead me to mental chastity. Similar to No Nut November, where you essentially commit to being chaste and stop masturbating. I've been doing this for a while now, and realized I've been chastised and submissive for quite some time, and while my wife pretends to be submissive she definitely has dominant traits. Here are my observations about my life and now that I've realized it I would like to take the forums direction to continue to pursue a submissive and chaste life. I'll also call out what I want to change!

1 - My wife likes it when I'm clean shaved. So, I clean up every week or two, and naturally have a smooth body.
2 - I work and provide entirely for my family. My wife is 7 years younger than I am and stays at home. Even with this, I am made to do the dishes every night, and make our bed every morning.
3 - She finds ways to punish me, even without telling me I'm being punished. Such as if I don't take her out and spoil her at least every second week. Such as going out for dinner, drinks and usually having to buy her new outfits. She has her hair and nails done every week.
4 - Often when we are out at a restaurant she will dismiss me and order over me. Telling the server what we will both have. She will also tell me what to tip the server when he is there.
5 - While she tells me I am not allowed to masturbate ever. At least twice a week she will tell me how she made herself cum using the vibrator I bought her.
6 - She has me eat her pussy every time we have sex now.
7 - I'm never allowed to look at her phone, but she openly lies on our bed when I get out of the shower doing an inspection on my phone. Checking my sites, my social going through everything in detail.
8 - If I even look at a woman when we are out she will make a comment and punish me. Sometimes saying something to embarrass me or just refusing to talk to me. Then, when someones flirts with her she always talks back and tells me I'm crazy.
9 - She often makes me rub her body, giving her massages.
10 - When I am good, not browsing porn and giving her the most attention she let's me have my way with her.

What I would love to change, and possibly introduce. Is making it clear when I have been bad and masturbated behind her back. I'm thinking I just start telling her, and seeing what she says? Also, seeing if I can call her sometime and just ask if it's ok for me to masturbate?

With all of this said.. I don't know how to take it to the next step and just let her take control in the room too.