making your partner feel like you want *them*, not just sex

I think chastity does help in this regard. Sure, we get a bit hornier, but honestly, in our case, we were having just as much sex. The main differences were that a) I wasn't jerking off and b) I was much more attentive to her needs both sexually and otherwise. I became aroused by her presence. I give a comparison with a dog that's castrated is so much more compliant than one with his balls. Me in a cage is so much more attentive and helpful. I hear your point though, it's not specific to her. But it is. For one, it's something we share. It's pretty intimate to let someone else own your sex. For me, I would never offer that to someone I didn't love and trust deeply.

A real change with chastity is that we are much more intimate than before. And I don't mean outright sex. Just lying next to each other, hugging each other, waking up together. The longer you practice chastity together, the better too. It becomes a way of life. It transcends the sexual. For instance, I'll read at night, naked and caged, before bed. No sex. Not trying to move things along in any particular way. But there I lay, locked up. As if it's nothing out of the ordinary.

Passion is a funny thing. The image that comes to mind is infatuation. This salivating at the sight of your partner. But passion is nuanced. It also means devotion. A guy with a cock that is locked up, essentially given freely to a lover, the two, going about their lives in very ordinary ways with feelings of trust and devotion perhaps is a pure form of passion.

But, ok, say you want something more interesting. Definitely, making a scene about being locked is a distraction. "Hey hon, I'm locked, let's have sex", is not romantic or passionate. Preparing a big-deal dinner, with candles, music, wine without any expectations, just an opportunity to be together and provide some service is completely passionate. Dancing is a big one. Particularly if your partner likes to dance.

 

We have naked cuddles, whilst i'm locked in chastity, just cuddles and kissing naked

 

At the same time that we started to explore my submission, denial, chastity and her control, we agreed to a naked body against body cuddle and kiss every morning when we wake, and every night when we're about to sleep.

Implicit is that the cuddle comes with no sexual intention, though it does sometimes lead to that.

It's understood purpose for both of us is as an expression of affection and intimacy. Five minutes of holding each other, hugging and affectionately kissing.

It's worked very well for us.

 

We have lots of cuddling and kisses to, and I am never the one to end them, as soon as Madam goes to let go I always ask for one more minute! Also I always take the bottom of the sofa so Madam has the top so she has her legs resting on me, so even when we’re just watching a film I have contact with her in a non sexual way.