Long(ish) distance chastity more difficult?

Since being in chastity at the insistence of my Mistress, but only part time as we are half a planet apart, I have found myself becoming more emotional and more emotionally attached to my Mistress. She has brought out feelings in me I never knew I had, and I suspect the chastity has something to do with it.

 

I cannot comment on your particular chastity arrangement. I am sure you aren't unique but you do have a very interesting setup, I would love to hear more about how it all came about and what you do when you meet your keyholder.

As for the emotional feelings I think that is completely to be expected. This chastity thing affects us quite deeply and it is normal to need reassurance. The problem you have with a lack of communication is also going to make things difficult. I think you need to definitely have a chat with your keyholder to set boundaries about how much you are allowed, but explain that you would like some communication when it suits her.

 

I feel for you. I cannot imagine doing chastity for someone other than a loved one living with me. My enjoyment of chastity is partly due to it fulfilling my sexually masochistic needs with daily teasing and partly because my wife enjoys being in control of our sex life for the first time, and having the best orgasms of her life due to it. I have been into almost every area of BDSM over the last 47 years. Only with the exception of one year, I only did it with someone I love. I knew someone who had a married Mistress and sometimes her husband would watch but in time he felt like you did.

 

Speaking from my experience, the emotionally needy is probably from the distance. I don't always get to see my guy even though we talk all the time and I know we are both emotionally needy at times, a lot usually. We see each other for 4 or so hours every 2-3 weeks most of the times. Sometimes more but that seems to be the normal for awhile. Even being the key holder, supposed to be the strong dominant one, I almost get to the point of breakdown sometimes. i feel for you. It is crazy hard, and I just pray for the time when I can be with him all the time and experience chastity the way we both want to.

 

Just like @rongeo I am also half a world away (12000 miles) from my darling. The only thing that keeps this chastity possible is the fact that we talk as much as possible and skype when we can.

Bearing that in mind I have found that the emotional need can vary between the need to talk to somebody about the feelings that chastity is bringing up inside yourself, to the 'need' to have a 'release'. You need to have an honest analysis of what your 'need' is before you can move forward. In my case the requirement is to have that communication on a daily basis (we don't necessarily talk about my being locked up - just the normal conversations that you would have over an evening meal about how the day has been etc etc) Yours might be different - and I appreciate that with your keyholder being married the potential to have regular communication might be not be ideal. However once you identify what you are 'missing' or 'requiring' from this experience then you can have an honest and open conversation with your keyholder to make sure that you are both on the same page. As @Jasmic68 has said - this chastity experience affects us very deeply so it is important that you both understand what the other party is going to get from this and what the expectations are. Its no use trying to let the other party 'guess' what you and/or they need.

 

@LockedByElizabeth Is there any chance of you or Elizabeth moving so you can be together? I had a long distance marriage for many years and was living separate from my Wife for about ten years. We have been together now for over a year and we are much happier. It wasn't easy, I had to give up a good job and move to a new country, but it was definitely worth it.

 

@Jasmic68 - as I (thought) I had indicated in my journal, the 'problem' that we have is that of waiting for Elizabeth to sell her property in the UK. Once that occurs then the plan is for her and her daughter to join me over here. I have also had a long distance marriage (and considerable amounts of time spent working away during the week) and I agree that it was not at all easy. That is why I keep on mentioning the words 'communication' in a lost of my postings as I that is the thing that has struck me more and more about how important it is both to truly listen as well as be very open and honest in return.

We (Elizabeth and I) are fully committed to being together and we have decided that it would be best for Elizabeth to move rather than me .... But yes I hear ya and we are striving to make that happen just as soon as is possible!