Dear all, My name is Jin and I’m a relatively novice lockee. I discovered chastity last month, and I love it intensely. I’m trying this journal, in the hope that it might interest others, and maybe entice some more knowledgable persons to guide me further along the way. To both, I thank you in advance. About me: I am male, 40, European, and living in Asia. Since I was a teenager, I wished I had been born a woman, but (as I have written elsewhere), life happened, and I never went down the path of gender reassignment. This said, I’ve always found my male body gauche and unattractive, and I’ve never identified with the masculine ideals of the times. On the contrary, I’ve always been turned on by feminising myself and submitting to a dominant — both of which I’ve done in the past, online and in real life. But once again: life happened, and before you know it, you look back and wonder where the past 20 years went. This is when I discovered chastity last month. It was presented as a way to stabilise male swings in arousal, to make them more similar to a woman’s. I also immediately loved the loss of control it created, and I started looking for keyholders. This led me to Chastikey. After a month being locked by various persons and discovering what really happens in chastity, I have just relocked for what I think will be the next two weeks. As the days go, I will try here to tell what happens to me. Thank you for your time and interest. Obediently, Jin
Thank you Smokey5518. :hug: As I start day 3, I should summarise what happened until now. After several shorter locks, I was locked at the beginning of the month by a new Mixtress. I was at the time wearing a CB3000 (my first cage), but it gradually appeared that it was both uncomfortable to me, and too long by a few centimetres. Mixtress consequently accepted that I change for a Holy Trainer. The only size I found here was the small one, but it proved a perfect fit for me: I couldn't grow anymore, and any attempt at getting hard immediately sent waves of pleasure and discomfort through my lower belly. I immediately fell in love with this cage. In addition, my submissiveness went up several notches -- along with a teary-eyed feeling, whenever I came across beautiful ladies in the street: I couldn't get hard anymore. My arousal wasn't mine anymore... it was my Mixtress's (and she enjoyed teasing me very much). Still, it gradually appeared that the 4.5 cm ring that came with the HT was slightly too large for me. I consequently ordered the smaller size, and received it on Saturday. Mixtress allowed me to unlock, and try the new ring overnight to check that it didn't cause any problem. The night was fantastic -- the cage wouldn't move anymore. Any night erection immediately hit the cage and woke me in discomfort and arousal. To make sure the test was thorough, Mixtress added a lot of teases, and I writhed in the bed, in agony. Sunday morning, Mixtress ordered me to have a ruined O. I would actually have preferred not to have any, but I think Mixtress wanted to empty me before a longer lock, in particular because her attempts at milking me have been unsuccessful so far. I was so sensitive that it took less than a minute: I shot out more semen than I ever saw, in a way that was almost painful. Then I immediately had to put the smaller ring back on and lock myself again. Sunday was easy. I was not aroused anymore. I was also a bit down, and started wondering why I had relocked so fast. For a moment, I hated the cage. Then I remembered how it felt after several days, and all the wonderful teases Mixtress had given me. I remembered also how submissive this made me, and how this has made me start a physical exercise routine to feminise my body as much as possible. (Hint: my butt and my abs are sore every day at the moment.) By Sunday evening, I was more at peace with the lock. To atone for my negative thoughts earlier, I sent a message to Mixtress, to thank them for locking me, taking such good care of me and making me their obedient chastity slut. At Monday, mid-day, I started feeling my balls fill up again. This is when my mind realised that I was locked, and remembered how full and horny I would soon be. I started leaking pre-cum again, and Mixtress's teases started making me strain in the cage. My arousal level continued to pick up over the rest of the day. We are now Tuesday morning, and I'm leaking like a faucet again. The cage is a constant reminder of my submission to Mixtress. I can't wait to hear from them, and continue my education as their chastity slut. Thank you for reading so far. Obediently, Jin
Day 3. After a quiet morning, I started feeling a tingling in my lower belly around noon. As the afternoon progressed, arousal became more intense — and hit the hard confines of the cage. During the night, the nature of my “night alarms” changed. They had been painful for the past two nights; now they were pure lust. My lower belly longed with desire — for an erection, for cumming. I managed to fight it twice, but at 6am, the exquisite pain was too strong. I writhed in the bed like a worm, my underwear soaked like I’ve never seen them. It was excruciating to feel my penis so close, and yet be completely unable to reach it. I told it to Mixtress, who pretended to commiserate. But this cage is not coming off any time soon... I kept squirming in the bed until dawn, thinking how lucky I am to be locked. Thank you Mixtress.
Day 4. I don’t know why, but I feel more at ease in my cage this time around. Maybe it’s because its a better fit. Maybe because I’ve seen Mixtress at play, and I know they will use me well, torture and tease me just enough to push my limits and guide me along the way. I trust them. Obeying is consequently easy. I go to bed happy, waiting for the delicious night alerts that remind me of my submission to them.
Day 5. My penis seems to have accepted it’s fate, and didn’t strain so hard against its cage overnight. I consequently had a relatively good night, but I still woke up in soaked underwear. It made Mixtress laugh. They wanted to play with me yesterday, but I was not available. The session consequently happened this morning. Mixtress asked me to edge every half hour for four hours, something which both excited and scared me: would I still be able to think clearly after several edges, or would I be a shivering wreck? Yet I didn’t learn the answer: after only two attempts, i failed miserably and had a ruined orgasm. Mixtress was understanding: I have little experience with edging, and I was using a brand new, powerful toy (a hush). Although I might still be punished for my failure, they ordered me to wait until after lunch, then try to edge again, this time for ten minutes straight, with thirty seconds between each edge. This time, I was more cautious, and kept the hush on a low speed. Edges 1, 2 and 3 happened fast... then I hit a wall: the vibrations were enjoyable, but just not enough to bring me close to an orgasm. Only by cranking up the toy to 7, did I achieve a fourth edge, near the end of the 10 minutes. I’ve noticed in the past that I tend to become less sensitive to vibrations after a while. I wonder if that’s the case for other people too? After this, Mixtress sent me back to work, leaking and feeling both happy and unsatisfied. As the glow of the edges dissipated, I started feeling sad — sad of not having had an orgasm. Sad of being unable to touch myself. I told it to Mixtress, who reassured me: “The lock is here to show I care.” Soon afterward, I felt arousal build up in my lower belly — a constant tingling, which had made me increasingly submissive during my previous lock with Mixtress: things were getting serious... I told Mistress I was getting horny, and they giggled: “You notice it only now?” I now think this is going to be a looooong weekend...