Incremental indefinite denial

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Lovinglylockdhubby, Dec 6, 2023.

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  1. Lovinglylockdhubby
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    #1 Lovinglylockdhubby, Dec 6, 2023
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2023
    Well it's semi-official with far off chance of change as she wishes, but as of today after many many months of discussion as to what ideal looked like for us once our personal life outside variables were no longer a factor. My wife has decided that my orgasms are more or less irrelevant to her so long as I remain optimally attentive, horny and selflessly devoted to her pleasure and needs. Also mutually decided after previous experience that post orgasm crash/depression does not suit me as my mood sours horribly for a week plus. It was then in great detail disclosed that I prefer the constant arousal & build towards orgasm more than the orgasm itself and thoroughly get great joy from serving her, pleasing her, and just making her as happy as I can especially if I can devote something too her of myself. So with that, we are committing to incremental indefinite denial. I can safeword out at any time, but will never be locked more than a month at a time again if I do. Our anniversary is in 5ish months so we agreed that then, and only then, can I tap out consequence free and am likely not going to be permitted an orgasm if I choose not to for another 6 months at least. 1 year was a goal from long, long ago, 3-4 months was our regular in the past years but we have never surpassed 4 for various reasons. We have agreed to continual 6 month consequence free check in intervals for me and she can choose to let me orgasm at any time irregardless if she so chooses. That being said, I was told that though I likely will have more full orgasms based on our age(almost 30), I should assume I won't or they will be very rare at best and are up to her fully. Absolutely beyond excited and marginally terrified in a good way, any tips or advise from regular long termers or permanents? Have heard that if you can make 3-4 which we have, you can pretty much go as long as you wish with proper motivation but still not sure I fully buy that. Fantasy sounds easy, but reality poses a more daunting challenge no matter how motivated and excited I am to test myself, reach a personal and mutual goal for starters, and most importantly continue to do anything it takes to please my truly amazing and loving wife.
     
  2. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    Since you've got the ability to discuss with her as you go, I think you're going to be fine :)
     
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  3. atxmtb
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    atxmtb Long term member

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    Very similar experience on this end, although it's not a bondage thing with safe words. Completely "voluntary". But we, too, have come to the realization that my orgasms, although fun for the moment, have a larger downside that neither of like. This is a development since being locked, currently around 3 months. For some reason, locking up has allowed us time to see things that we previously didn't. Our intimacy was ruled by my orgasm, and once I had it, our intimacy suffered. Fuck that (excuse the pun). So, we've agreed no more for now. How long is still in question. The rest of our chastity commitment at a minimum (3 months more), the rest of my life is possible. I'm surprisingly ok with it. Even happy that I can be free of the distraction and just focus on her.

    I'm not naive. I expect this to be pretty tough at times.
     
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  4. Littlejt1
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    Littlejt1 Long term member

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    So I’m currently a little over 200 days without cumming… and to that end I do think it’s quite possible to keep going “indefinitely”, which is basically what she’s pushing for. She did tell me that we would reevaluate at 1 year (which is truly terrifying and exciting), so another 165 or so days left there…

    All that being said, I used to think I wouldn’t be able to go more than a month, then it was 2-3, then 6’ and here we are. Your body will expel things now and then and we both enjoy playing with my ass/prostate which can help relieve the pressures etc so it’s not like I never leak anything, I’m just not allowed a full orgasm.
     
  5. Mountainman
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    I am now full time locked except when she wants PIV sex, which right now is for about a week every month. She decided that oral only was good enough this month so I didn’t get out. She’s talking about weaning herself off cock, so it’ll be an extra month each time, so I’m expecting to be let out next month, but then we’ll skip two months, and out in April. Then skip three months and out in August. And so on. That’s our incremental increase :)
     
  6. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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  7. HouseboyForHer
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    Good luck, for sure. And at your young age, double or triple good luck!

    That said, I wish we had found chastity when I was that age, for all the same reasons. We're in our late 50s now and we have never been more in love.

    I've been orgasm-free a long, long time now. My Wife is pretty disinterested in sex since her hysterectomy, and She just sort of leaves me locked day after day. She likes me locked, but doesn't keep track of how long it's been, and sort of forgets. Long story you can read in my intro if you want, but basically I get up in the morning and tell myself, "You can hang in there one more day", and I eroticize the heck out of how long it's been, and "enjoy" being horny all the time. I celebrate the big milestones (and now we celebrate them together). And yes, like @Littlejt1, I my rear erogenous zone gets attention from me.

    Again, good luck, and try to enjoy the horniness! I hope you will give us progress reports!
     
  8. TAGntim
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    Good luck! I admire your commitments!
     
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  9. atxmtb
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    atxmtb Long term member

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    Something about this all is really erotic. It totally changes the dynamics. Before, even the most selfless love session still had self-pleasure as a major component. We may have loved giving someone pleasure by sharing our bodies, but there was always that primal satisfaction of an orgasm hanging out there as a delicious cherry. To give that part up and to receive a deeper pleasure through someone you love, to remove the distraction and power of our own physical pleasure in the hope that we can provide more of ourselves to someone else is really the height of sexual awareness. It's a contradiction to call it selfless because the energy we get back is many times the energy we would have spent on a momentary pleasure. It transforms a confined time of love into a continual bliss that is not delineated by a beginning and an end. This is still new to me, but the experience is life-changing. It totally redefines sexual the dynamics.

    It is a logical progression of chastity as characterized by a cage. By offering our lovers the key to our body, we are removing the element of our will from our pleasure. Yet we often still pursue release, powerless against the forces that our bodies still have over our sexual organs. Although we may have offered up the keys, we haven't offered up our pleasure. To do so, completes the act of submitting our bodies to forces outside of our control.

    I welcome this step. I am apprehensive about whether I have the strength to overcome my physical self, but the reward is so great, it cannot be ignored.
     
  10. M@rcellus
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    M@rcellus Long term member

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    When she truly realises that the male orgasm does nothing for her quality of life and that she has an obedient slave to give her oral on demand there's no turning back. I'm into a lifetime of training and positive reinforcement. It's completely unfair and one-sided now. She is guilt free, she has found a male stupid enough to give up his male sexuality and she's keeping it exactly like that. She has made it clear that if I ever wanted to live without wearing the cage I would hurt her feelings and sexlife badly and well she's told me this is how it will be, this is our journey.
     
  11. M@rcellus
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    M@rcellus Long term member

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    I have just been thinking the same there is no beginning or end to it. Just worship and devotion everyday. My male orgasm seems intrinsically selfish. I had enough of them in my life, it's been gradual but she has decided that's over now. Quite something to behold the eager-to-please girl I dated before chastity become this. It's frightening.
     
  12. Queens servant73
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    Queens servant73 Long term member

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    Good for you two! I think we’re heading down that path at some point any way. Since she gave me a very rare break from the cage recently, she decided she hated that and has become far more strict. Piv once in the last few weeks, she’s only unlocked me for cleaning about once a week, and then granted me an erection about once every 7-9 days.
    She seems very content with my tongue and her womanizer vibe giving her orgasms. I believe 2024 could see my full orgasms cut down to one every two months, with ruins every three weeks possibly.
     
  13. Littlejt1
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    Littlejt1 Long term member

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    I wouldn’t say that is men are “stupid enough” to give the control away…perhaps you view yourself that way, but I’m sure that’s not the case. I certainly don’t think of myself as stupid. Frankly I think it takes a great deal of strength to give the control up. Plus the communication and openness and closeness that my wife and I have in our relationship is something I wouldn’t trade in a million years, and I certainly don’t view myself as stupid for enjoying it.
     
  14. Lovinglylockdhubby
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    Agreed I am smart enough to know when we are both simply just happier and when my mood, attentiveness and productivity increase ten fold. All around win win
     
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  15. HouseboyForHer
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    Wow, that is heavy. Beautiful, too.
     
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  16. M@rcellus
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    M@rcellus Long term member

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    Stupid perhaps not but we have all given away our male sexuality. If you're anything like me you've been tricked. Our women have relegated us to oral slaves. Yes I agree to it too. Willingly so.
     
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