If You Quit Chastity, Could You Ever Return?

I'll probably do this as a poll, but I'd also like to hear people's thoughts on the feasibility of this.

Do you think it's possible to quit wearing the cage, and with it all the femdom elements that come with the lifestyle, and then start up again later? Or do you think that once you revert back to sexual dominance it would be impossible, or at least highly unlikely, that your KH would ever be able to adopt the role of the Dominant again?

(***And please - I mean quit the cage willingly. Not because you had to give it up temporarily for some reason outside of your control. That's very different.***)

I think this probably would be different for the guys for whom the cage / denial are their own turn-on. If you'd long to wear the cage for its own qualities, even w/o a KH or if your partner wasn't participating, then I think we're coming from a different perspective on the cage. There's 100% no denying it's central importance, or that it's its own form of turn-on as part of the whole dynamic. But for me the cage is entirely a tool to facilitate her dominance, which is the element of chastity im concerned with in this post.

None of this works without the cage for us. But If I (we) were to decide that it would be unwise to continue down this path of trying to further develope her dominance / my submission sexually, the cage would cease to be a factor after that.

I'd love to hear everyone and anyone's taken on this. But I'm particularly interested in hearing from any men who've decided - despite how much they've discovered they enjoy being on the receiving end of female sexual dominance (or maybe specifically because of how much they enjoy it...) that it was best not to go any further.


And if so did you ever try again? Or was the femdom experiment ruined permenantly?

 

Ask me any time during the first year and my reply to this would have been very similar. But eventually you have to settle into a sustainable routine. Then and only then can you figure out whether the way things have settled in is going to satisfy both your needs long term.

 

This all awakened a love of female dominance that I did not expect. So what worries me is my need outstripping her ability to match it. If that's what's down the road then to me it is preferable to leave it all behind now. We were both quite satisfied sexually before we fell into all this, and the last thing I want is for one or the other of us develope desires that the other is unable or unwilling to fulfill. That hasn't happened just yet but it is one of my worries.

@Jasmic68 - of course I too would take the many lessons I've learned from chastity and continue them even if we stopped. Hopefully that goes without saying! But like you said, living this way takes a continuous output of effort. That's why I was curious to know if anyone else took a break from it all and yet were able to return to it successfully.

@Nicoftime - "she said she can see us switching [roles]. The cage stays though. She said she doesn't want to lose that part ever"

Thats always been an exact concern of mine. As that is totally unacceptable to me. It's like saying "I don't want to make the effort on my end any more, but I definitely want you in the cage still". Not a chance.

The cage is to help facilitate her dominance. If the effort required on either of our parts to continue developing her dominance or my submissiveness proves beyond what we are willing to continue putting forth, fine, we stop, but the cage goes with it. It's a tool. If the tool is no longer required because we've stopped trying to build whatever it was we were using it to help build, then the tool gets put away.

My fear has always been That all the FLR stuff falls by the wayside and I'm just a dude walking around in a cage because my girl likes that I can't jerk off when I want or become aroused without my mind being redirected. Frankly I believe that's unhealthy. I won't allow myself to be caged just to mollify self confidence issues or trust issues. If those issues exist then they must be dealt with directly. Thankfully that's not our situation. But it is an ever present fear of mine, because I know she loves that I'm in a cage more than she loves being dominant.

This is where I may differ from many, many guys here. The cage itself does not bring me enjoyment. Only her use of it does, and what it does for us as a unit makes it worth it as the tool I feel it is. For me the cage is a necessarily evil. Something I put up with to help make it possible for her to develope dominance. If the effort to develope dominance no longer existed (because we decide to pause or whatever), then I certainly will not put myself through the inconvenience of wearing a cage every day just because she may still like knowing I can't use my penis as I see fit. It's a package deal.

 

Like a dog. I'll put the leash on for the assertive leader who showes he cares by consistent training. Not for someone who just wants to tie me to a post between games of fetch.

 

Thatgirl happens to be in the middle of her monthly visitor. She doesn't have them often due to the type of BC she uses. Plus, we've now been at this just long enough that the initial frenetic pace of play we engaged in at the start has tapered toward a more realistic day-to-day lifestyle. Nonetheless by default we play often, so when for whatever reason we experience a lull in the action it's a struggle for me. That combined with my not liking the cage much in general combine and result in me becoming restless really quickly.

Thats why I don't think I could stand it if the cage became basically all there was to it. Hell, even during the normal lulls in activity that happen in any relationship I very shortly start to resent the cage! But just like you said, @Nicoftime, I never want her doing things just for my sake, or because she knows her expressions of dominance help me tolerate continued wear. I only want her doing things when and how she wants.

Her and I were discussing this and it made me think of what would happen if it came to a point where her level of interest and activity got too low for me, or my need for her dominance got too high.

I wondered if any guys ever put things on pause for that reason (rather than medical necessity), and if so did it make it impossible to start back up again. I imagine it would since it would so I hope we never get to a situation like that. But sometimes things happen you can't control. Like @Jasmic68 mentioned - if the input from the dominant partner wanes to a point where the other's needs aren't being met, be it life preventing it or just lack of interest, then something would have to give I think, because the cage is to me a lot of effort to live with day in and day out.

@Vinny - I totally get it. Im not sure if I could quit either. Or at least I'm not sure if it would be a good situation if I did. A concern I've had from the start is getting basically addicted to the cage & D/S dynamic to the point where I / we could never be satisfied by a sexual relationship that no longer included those things. But that's a risk I suppose we're all willing to take on in pursuit of all the awesome things chastity brings to our relationships.