How to persuade my girlfriend to take total control

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by newbie_sub_boy, Nov 11, 2013.

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  1. newbie_sub_boy
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    newbie_sub_boy Member

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    #1 newbie_sub_boy, Nov 11, 2013
    My girlfriend and I have been together for a month or so and since the beginning the sex has been, in someway a D/s kind of sex.I am fairly new to the lifestyle but I've always fantasized about it. This past weekend at a sex shop we seem a chastity device and bought it. . the cheap one night play kinda device. The next morning I researched and purchased the WM by Mature metals and at this point I am looking forward to a 24/7 thing... My girlfriend has never done or thought about this prior to this weekend, she's very willing and intrigued but at the same time a bit submissive outside the bedroom and compleatly New to being dominate at all. On the plus side, it's a new relationship and I feel were at a point that takes others many years to reach...how do I get her to embrace it in and out of the bedroom to take it to the next level. Right now it is what I want but I fear after some time, if given the choice I would be free due to the frustration, I want to be pushed and not given a choice in the matter. I know given some time she will devlope more into it and hopefully eventually identify herself as my owner. I really believe she has it In her but I don't think she genuinely understands the physiology, reason, and power of the whole thing. Any advice would be appreciated.
     
  2. Locked4myowngood
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    Locked4myowngood WillingWarden's prisoner

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    #2 Locked4myowngood, Nov 11, 2013
    It starts with communication. Let's face it. She can't force chastity on you. There is always a way out although it may not be easy.

    Let her know how you feel about chastity. Let her know you are devoted to her and this is one way to show your devotion.

    Dominance is in the mind more than in the body. It's a state of being and sometimes she may want you to dominate her to a degree. That's still her telling you what to do when you think about it

    Honesty really is the best policy with this
     
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  3. newbie_sub_boy
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    newbie_sub_boy Member

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    #3 newbie_sub_boy, Nov 11, 2013
    Thank you for your input I really appreciate it, we just started conversating about the idea Friday to her it's completely new and unheard of. I can only explain so much to her. Ideally I would like to find a good resource for her to read and develope into her role beyond what I can explain. If you or anyone out there in the mansion knows of any good sources that would be beneficial for her to develop into a dom please let me knOw
     
  4. Locked4myowngood
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    Locked4myowngood WillingWarden's prisoner

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    #4 Locked4myowngood, Nov 11, 2013
    I'm not sure a resource alone will help much

    Sometimes the better approach is to agree to try different things. Some you will like, some not. You can let the relationship turn gradually.

    If you set out to make her a domme you prob won't succeed. She has to embrace it as well and right now she doesn't know what she's embracing exactly.

    Go slow. Listen to her. Plan some activities that will be fun experiments. Talk afterwards about how it went.

    It's just like any other part of your relationship really. There is no one size fits all approach.

    You will do fine
     
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  5. newbie_sub_boy
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    newbie_sub_boy Member

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    #5 newbie_sub_boy, Nov 11, 2013
    that is an excellent point, I never thought of it like that. That reminds me How fortunate I am because the relationship is so New and she is so accepting and willing to accommodate this for me, were practically building the relationship on the grounds that I am hers and she essentially owns me. instead of the fantasy coming out years down the road, we're starting there and I do think that will be dynamic in the fact that eventually it'll be the way our relationship has always been.
     
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  6. CorsetJane
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    CorsetJane Long term member

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    #6 CorsetJane, Nov 11, 2013
    Deja vu! ..i was here earlier this year..but now my wife and i are moving forward in chastity and i am locked in steel! (and the odd femme attire!)
    Few things.. most of this is in the mind..and plays amazing tricks! I haven't regretted a thing...yet
    You'll find a lot of support on here - i did..as long as you engage and embrace the forums etc..which you obviously do! Chat to many and talk to your g/f...my wife thought i was mad when i first gave her my key!..but then found the extra attention and sub side of me quite exciting! Google Lucy Fairbourne "Chastity: a guide for keyholders" you can download or buy the book(let) and its an evening read that you can leave under her pillow... Its pretty basic but gives an overview and breaks the ice. Some of the Mistresses have been really helpful in this area...giving really helpful advice and encouragement to me without interfering in a relationship... dont badger them but if you're sensible and patient they will be there to give you support. (and your g/f i guess if she makes the jump to explore the site)
    Dont rush..i was told that..and we have moved forward slowly but surely ..and i am already in the area known as "careful what you wish for!"... so it must be ok!!
    She will notice that your extra attention and desire to please is obvious..which seems to be an early change and the novelty will soon become more than that and you will be encased in firm and unyielding steel...
    Good luck... keep us informed!
    cj :)
     
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  7. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!

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    #7 Joroincharge, Nov 11, 2013

    She needs to enjoy it, and more especially have an avenue to use it to get something she really wants otherwise.
     
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  8. newbie_sub_boy
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    newbie_sub_boy Member

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    #8 newbie_sub_boy, Nov 11, 2013
    thank you corset Jane, I already feel the support from the members. And instead of directly contacting any one directly I figured I would post and let you guys reach out to me for knowledge and help since I am I'm fact compleatly new to this and obviously impatiently waiting for my WM to arrive, and I just ordered it Saturday, goodness what an anticipating wait I have to look forward to... but I guess that's the name of the game we play Lol. Joroincharge, That's a good way to articulate it to her, sometimes it's hard to put the ideas and feelings into words, partly out of pride and humiliation. Originally I was Just seeking a little advice but after all the support thus far I plan on being quite active on here, so i well keep everyone updated. I've sent my gf s copy of the link for this thread. . if your reading this thank you for your support, love, understanding and acceptance i love you A.J. <3 and Thank you again everyone
     
  9. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    #9 Giles_English, Nov 12, 2013
    You're in that fortunate "sexperimentation" stage where anything goes. The risk is she'll try it out as an adventure, and then get bored.

    My advice would be to focus on vanilla things she can get from this arrangement, and to be very careful about not crowding her with it, e.g. by bringing it up in non-erotic contexts.

    One way to take the pressure off her is to use a time lock safe or software for your key.

    We tried out FLR and 24/7 chastity for two weeks and had great fun with it, though there were challenges. Every couple is different, but perhaps my blog entries on this might help.
     
  10. newbie_sub_boy
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    newbie_sub_boy Member

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    #10 newbie_sub_boy, Nov 12, 2013
    Well talking to her yesterday and last night she seems to be really Into it the more she thinks about it... as anxious as I am about it I try not to be pushy (best I can) I found, read, and urged her to read Angela's review off of chastity tube. Which was super informative for the both of us. But she didn't stop there, she then read another half dozen more articals, blogs and what have you...Afterwards i was told I would initially be locked up for at least a month when it arrives, I'd say she's taking it seriously and she says she loves the thought of it. But take it for what it's worth, Angela's review is a very good, compelling, and persuasive artical geared towards women that explains the reasons and physiology behind the lifestyle. She explains it in a way that for a girl it doesn't make sense to not do it.
     
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