How to find a chastity partner?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by intofemdom, May 14, 2015.

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  1. intofemdom
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    intofemdom Member

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    Ok, I realized chastity alone is no good.
    I would like to have a partner to whom I kind hand over my key. Please her in other ways.
    But chastity is kindof my dark secret.

    So where the hell do I start?
    I certainly cant date a vanilla woman and blurt it out. I am sure everyone will think Im a weirdo. Worse they could tell others. So no friends or friends of friends.

    Total strangers who are into chastity online seems very risky considering elements of blackmail or other extremely weird forced stuff I may end up in.

    So freaked. Someone help me out. How do we find a person to include in our chastity lives? How do we trust?
     
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  2. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    You assume that all vanilla females would be appalled. Not true. Many would, but some, not so. My advice to you would be to meet and get to know them and test the waters.
     
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  3. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Banned

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    If you think you are a weirdo because of your interest in chastity then you will be. If you are proud to be in chastity and feel that you are at the cutting edge of modern society then you will be.
    It's up to you.
     
    thefunone74, Ormaz, Rachael_ and 6 others like this.
  4. lockit
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    lockit Advanced Member

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    First slow down there is no need for panic you are creating worse case scenarios in your head.

    Take your time and look around and read the posts.

    There are lots of couples on here some met on here or on other sites.

    I would guess there are a lot met in a vanilla setting.



    There are members on here who introduced there partner to chastity.

    If you meet someone vanilla I am sure you won’t blurt it out on the first date.

    I can’t really answer the question how you will meet someone.



    Have you thought about a local munch where you can meet like-minded people.

    You may or may not find a Mistress there however find people you can feel comfortable talking about chastity and other forms of BDSM.

    You are a normal man who is in to chastity learn to enjoy it, with luck the rest will take care of its self.
     
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  5. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    You most certainly can introduce kink to a vanilla woman! Nearly half of them have Femdom fantasies. Better still, if you are generally compatible, then there is a good chance that you are kink compatible. You just have to not be a dick about it...
     
  6. corsac
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    corsac Long term member

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    I met my wife through friends. We became friends before dating and I think that really helped. I finally got the courage to ask her out and everything was going great. After a couple months I told her about chastity and she responded very positive right away!

    So it can work out! Just to slowly and make sure you have a real connection. From there it is all about communication. Good luck!

    P.S. Today is day 89 locked so as they say, be careful what you wish for!
     
  7. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    I'm sure you would both no doubt want to establish a relationship and let it develop a little before you start revealing some of the more intimate aspects of yourselves.

    Once you have a relationship that looks as though it has a reasonable chance on enduring then you can begin the very slow process of gently introducing her to TTTWD. There is lots of guidence available on that if you feel you need help with that, or ask in here. If you introduce her to the benefits to her of rationing your orgasms you can than work on getting her to want to deny you and then locking.
    .
     
  8. intofemdom
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    intofemdom Member

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    I am currently dating this sweet woman. Though I have no intention of revealing anything now a good guide by an expereinced person would help me. Any resources?
     
  9. maff2k
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    maff2k Active member

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    ok, I'll tell you my tale. My gf mentioned in passing that I shouldn't be wanking as it was being unfaithful. I took this onboard and a google or two later I'd found chastity devices. As a joke I sent her the link with the words "maybe I need one of these". The rest is history.

    Perhaps make a small joke, see how she responds. Then introduce the idea gently, if she bites you can move on.
     
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  10. coffee2sugars
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    coffee2sugars Long term member

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    I would deffinatly recomend attending a local munch meeting to meet like minded people and beleive me there are plenty of them out there, Women and munches.

    I know it can a little scarey arranging to meet total strangers that are simply there to meet up and discuss kinky sexy issues but the one we have been visitiong has been amazing. First off it's in a local pub during normal opening hours so no one goes dressed in fetish attire, just regular vanilla cloths and no one outside of the group knows who ar why they are meeting. Most will arrange a meet and greet for you so that you get to meet everybody and since your all there for kink no one will look down on you.

    The best way to find a munch is to register on www.fetlife.com and search in there events sections.

    The only other alternative is to ask a professional mistress to hold your keys for you. If you do this then I highly recomend asking around about them and getting as much information as you can. I don't know if she has any room for a new chast male but I would recomend you contact one of the mods on here @Mistress Jules

    I have been chatting on and off with her for roughly about a year now and she is a very nice lady that offers a keyholding service for guys that do not have a keyholder and has a number of guys and gals that I am sure would be willing to give her some high recomedations. Have a look at her Forum. http://mjkhscotland.co.uk/chastityboard/index.php
    and even if she cannot help you she may be able to recomend someone that can.
     
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  11. Ormaz
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    Ormaz Long term member

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    I agree. This works very well. Ladies often have stories of unfaithful former partners too. Lots of opportunities to suggest chastity from.
     
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