How Many of You Actually Struggle with Male Chastity or Orgasm Denial?

If I may just address this before answering your question... I lurked on this forum for probably around 9 months before joining because of that perspective. The site heavily assumes that fact and it was intimidating not being in that category. As I found a few others similarly situated, I got the courage to ask and share my experiences. For those who unexpectedly find themselves wearing a cage at their wife's request, there are others on here too. and I can say that many of the challenges (and benefits) appear to be the same. This site is still a great resource for getting help to understand this new adventure, although I do believe there are some fundamental differences depending on who introduced it.

That being said, no... no tears. But grief takes many forms. There's no doubt that it's hard. I've lamented over it. Had more than a few doubts. I was really embarrassed to be wearing it at first. All of those thoughts were fleating. What helps me in those moments is the realization that they never last more than an hour or so and they are spaced very far apart. In between that are wonderful moments of being consumed with my wife and feeling deeply connected with her.

The parts that really boggle my mind... All those other guys treating their wives so poorly... and they orgasm all they want. And I only have so many years left... Yet I sacrifice. It seems very underserved at times. But I remind myself that sacrifice is pretty important to being a good husband. And this is just another manifestation of that unselfish devotion. Ultimately though, even those negative thoughts fade quickly. And I'm their absence, are incredibly strong feelings of attraction and attachment to my wife. So it is easy to move on into healthier thinking.

 

As my time locked increased, I began to see that our shared fantasy of "permanent" chastity could actually become a reality. After a couple of years, Mrs Edge no longer even made comments about unlocking me "some day". And at some point, she acknowledged that she was more than prepared to have it permanent.

The captioned pics that I do make it look fun and exciting, but in reality, the day-to-day life is sometimes difficult. I have no regrets, though, and I have learned to eroticize my denial, so at least in my fantasy life, it's still a pretty exciting thing.

 

Can you imagine to fear an orgasm?

 

Well, in my case I do get orgasms. My wife actually enjoys making me come. However, they are not very frequent, and they are only allowed when we make love. And naturally, I am always caged. I have not had an uncaged orgasm in over six years.

 

Thanks for your explaination. Maybe I made the wrong assumption, you might fear to loose a long gained state of commitment that might get lost by an orgams and will need much time to achieve again.

 

I would all but kill for a partner that initiates it so I could stop chasing.

a lot of things, tbh.

 

I can see the advantage of a partner that shares the same sexual interests. That's the key. It isn't about where she or you wanted the cage. It's about both of you wanting the same thing. And when that doesn't gel, it creates discord.

Alternatively, of she wants it and you don't... You'll have a while lot of different issues to work on!

In my case, I absolutely love making her happy. And if that means denying something I want, then so be it. Whether what I want is being in our not being in a cage, is mostly not as important. I'll share my story here, in case you find anything that may help your situation:

I'm my case, I encouraged her to seek more enjoyment and before long we were browsing Amazon for "toys" for her. We naturally came across cages in the search and both of us were confused and laughed at the idea (as we did with many other specialty toys that presented themselves in the starch category). But don't you know, she was curious about the cage and over the next 2 months, occasionally brought it up as a fun things to try. After all of my encouraging for her to pursue things she was interesting in (albeit I was thinking vibrators since we never used any kind of toys before), how could I now say I was unwilling to try it.

So I did. And it was and is strange. And I've now spent 35 days without an orgasm, and have "only" had about 20 or so in the last 9 months. But she... who used to cum 2 or 3 times a session (with maybe 2 sessions a week) now cums 10 to 20 times (and stronger than every before) nearly every day. I am so incredibly happy with how she feels. They talk about men changing, being happier, etc... but she's really changed too. So free and happy and loving and caring... And she feels more connected with me. She is excited to wear the key out and likes when I wear the cage out. It's like we have sexual intimacy 24/7 without even having to have sex.

Ultimately, what really worked was her finding value and enjoyment in it. If it was something she didn't enjoy, it wouldn't have stuck.

 

Just when I feel I have the mental side conquered, the chastity rollercoaster took another turn last night which had me struggling for a bit. The night before She said I would be allowed to give Her a full body massage and oral orgasm last night. She woke me playing with my cage in bed and telling me She couldn't wait until Her massage that night. She sent me teasing texts throughout the day and had me very worked up.

After a nice meal and a relaxing night in, I was getting hornier by the minute when She said She'd take a nap and be ready for Her massage in a bit. Anyways She fully fell asleep and didn't wake before I needed to get to sleep for an early meeting. I headed to bed frustrated that I didn't get to do what I was looking so forward to all day.

This morning I was still feeling down when She sent a text apologizing for falling asleep but also reminding me that I shouldn't have been frustrated because She's in control and I service Her how and when She wants and because She had fallen asleep She obviously didn't want my service last night after all.

Tough words but what I needed to make me refocus and get back in the right submissive mind set.

 

That is not quite how it works for me. Over the past several years, my caged orgasms have gone from feeling ruined, to now feeling absolutely intense. They are as good - or maybe better - than how I used to experience them. However... because I am always locked, my recovery is still very quick, and the next day I am usually back to being horny again.

 

I do fear orgasms very much so after I cum I get depressed for about a week,I much rather feeling horny and denied than a few seconds climaxing. Any advice on post nut depression would be welcome. My longest is 28 days orgasm denial my wife thinking about making it much longer.

 

I struggle with it when I am under stress, outside forces that are impacting us both.

Been going through a house purchase which has been less than perfect that is 1700 km from were we live drove up there to take keys, car developed coolant leak about 1/3 the way there managed to nurse it home.

so tempted to ask for freedom, it’s not been that long 2.5 weeks but our ritual is more like weekly these days

but yes it’s a struggle, yes it’s what I want . I’d really hate to give in and ask, just thinking how disappointed she would be that I caved under extreme pressure…

 

I’ve never cried. But my drive is always through the roof. I always want it. But knowing my wife has the power over me is worth my frustrations. Some days are incredibly hard for me in all honesty.

 

I do find orgasm denial frustrating, but never to the point of tears. I have cried many times in my life about a lot of different things, but not orgasm denial or wearing a chastity cage.

There was a big change in how I feel about it after a two year separation from my wife. Prior to the separation I had gone quite a while without an orgasm, and also lost the ability to have erections. None of that really bothered me at the time. We had been practicing chastity and orgasm denial for years by that point and I was pretty used to it.

But during our period of separation, I re-learned how to masturbate without having an erection, and found that the quality and duration of my orgasms had improved significantly since my initial days on HRT. And for two years I really found orgasms to be rather nice and I didn't find them as bothersome since I no longer had erectile function making things feel so bizarre.

When we got back together after the two years apart, and she wanted me to go back to not having orgasms and forbade masturbation, it was pretty hard for a while. I never cried about it, but I did feel a sense of loss. I had two years where for the first time in my life I kind of felt positive about sexuality. And sometimes I still have those feelings. Every couple of months or so, when we're having intimate time together and my wife orgasms, for some reason I will feel an intense longing for an orgasm and want to feel one again. I don't know why it only happens occasionally or what triggers it. Most of the time I'm okay with it and having fun with her, but every once in a while it really hits me that I want that again so bad and I really doubt that she wants me to have that again at any point in the future.

 

My struggle with orgasm denial is different from everyone else here. I actually love feeling horny the whole day as well as the frustration that comes with it and hence, look forward to it and have no issue with it.

My issue is that after being frustrated and denied orgasm for a few days, my body appears to "get over it" and I simply stop feeling horny or frustrated anymore. That really kind of defeats the whole purpose of orgasm denial for me.

 

The struggle is real!
I have learned to find my pleasure through service to my DOMME in many ways.
I feel especially satisfied when I go down on her and bring her to multiple orgaisms.
These acts of service make me drain a lot, which relieves pressure.
When she is not in the mood to have an “O” for more than a week, things get very frustrating for me. Because I’m permanently locked, it can be very frustrating but I’ll never go back. We both love the lifestyle!

 

I love being denied, or I wouldn't do it. The constant state of arousal and frustration is fuel for me. Being teased in the cage right to the edge and stopping, or if loose, locked back up without satisfaction, is pure bliss.