How do I get my KH to be more strict?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Locked_In_LV, Jun 9, 2010.

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  1. Locked_In_LV
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    Locked_In_LV Mistress Lauren's Slave

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    Hey all, so as a relatively new player in the CB game, I'm not as fulfilled as I'd hoped due to my KH's lack of discipline. She enjoys playing with my dick and making me cum and as such she hasn't kept me denied for very long periods.

    How can I get her to be more disciplined/strict about long term denial? I'd hoped she'd be a total bitch about it and make me beg for release only to be denied... Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated...
     
  2. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    I would say you can't turn someone into something they are not... but you only have to look at me to see that's not true!

    4 years ago I was the submissive... today I have one pain gimp and several "playmates" that I can use to torture at will.

    I'd love to torture pet, but he's not really that into it now!

    Comments on the above 1) be careful what you wish for, because once you get it, it may be worse than you ever imagined! 2) it doesn't happen overnight, I'm still not in my groove.

    pet let me explore and discover in my own time. I would say I finally began to "get it" about 2 years ago.

    Respond positively to the things she does do that float your boat, but constant criticism will lead to her becoming disillusioned, and lacking in the confidence she requires to become your Fantasy Mistress.

    There is no magic pill I'm afraid.

    Good luck.
     
  3. Locked_In_LV
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    Locked_In_LV Mistress Lauren's Slave

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    Mistress Watchful, thank you for the reply. I agree that it's unrealistic to expect her to change overnight, but the possibility that it may happen certainly gives me hope. Last night we had a pretty good tease session that definitely left me aching for more while she was brought to orgasm. As for the "be careful what you wish for, because once you get it, it may be worse that you ever imagined!" I'm not sure she'll ever get to that point...(although it certainly makes me anxious/excited that she might) I will certainly be patient about it, I'm in our relationship for the long haul and we've plenty of time to develop a groove that makes us both happy.
     
  4. aaa1231
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    aaa1231 Junior Member

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    id like to find the magic pill too...
     
  5. Locked_In_LV
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    Locked_In_LV Mistress Lauren's Slave

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    Well I think she found this post because yesterday she decided that she's going to write up a chastity contract :) She hasn't let me read it yet but she's hinted at a few of the items on the list already... Now I'm anxiously awaiting for her to finish it so I can see what I'm in for :)

    If in fact you ran across this and are following the thread, I love you!! :-* lol
     
  6. Locked_In_LV
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    Locked_In_LV Mistress Lauren's Slave

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    And it begins.... :)

    So she finished the contract which I have happily signed(I will post it with her permission)

    :happy0158:

    There is a "no time limit" clause and some other devilishly fun and torturous sounding things.... I think she did an outstanding job and hope she exercises her new found power to the fullest extent to which SHE is comfortable.

    :Locker:
     
  7. FHP
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    FHP Junior Member

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    a story with a happy ending, well done on the pateince front, I find it so hard sometimes but then I remember why I live my life the way I do.
     
  8. cbtok
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    cbtok Senior Member

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    Obviously, a very happy ending, but one of the things i do is encourage the Women to participate here. No matter what Her level of experience or interest, She will find a kindred spirit, a mentor and other very understanding Women here.
     
  9. Mistress Lauren
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    Mistress Lauren New member

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    I'm participating :)
     
  10. subkeyholder
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    subkeyholder QuasiDomme

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    This is what has worked for me:

    He observes what *I* enjoy doing and encourages more of that. (I love to tease him -- and we made a game of setting the timer for longer times.)

    He is flexible in his expectations. (For example, I like learning rope bondage, so he's been patient about letting me practice on him and his cock. It probably wasn't part of his initial fantasies -- he likes leather and steel-- but he enjoys how much fun I have tying him up.)

    He is cooperative and appreciative when I top him. (He doesn't get angry or resentful or pouty. Because he doesn't indulge in that behavior, my confidence has grown that he really enjoys the chastity periods even when he is frustrated. And I feel more comfortable holding firm even if he gets a little cranky about not having come in a while.)

    He doesn't make me guess about what he prefers -- he communicates clearly. But he also doesn't criticize what I'm doing at the time. He'll tell me later.
     
  11. subkeyholder
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    subkeyholder QuasiDomme

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    deleted duplicate post!
     
  12. cbtok
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    cbtok Senior Member

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    And You have found the other Women here to be ... ?

    Remember, this is a public forum and other Women may read this before deciding to sign up for membership.
     
  13. Mistress Lauren
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    Mistress Lauren New member

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    I've found the other women here to be very helpful and supportive. I'm new to all of this and am learning as I go, but I've gotten some great ideas and feedback from many people on this site.

    Keep it up! :)
     
  14. Schmunzie
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    Schmunzie Junior Member

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    So how's it going? Eagerly awaiting updates.

    You two communicating via this forum reminds me of the sock drawer game... a game my wife and I used to play long before websites... One of us would write down a fantasy we wanted the other to play out and fold it up and hide it somewhere about the house (eg the sock drawer). When/if the other found it, we would read it, decide if we wanted to play and then carefully refold it and put it back. If we didn't want to play, we would just quietly forget about it. If we did... well then we did! Either way, the author of the fantasy would be in delicious and slightly scared anticipation, not knowing if it has been found and, if it had, whether it would come true or be disapproved of.
     
  15. Mistress Lauren
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    Mistress Lauren New member

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    Schmunzie~ that sounds like a pretty cool game. :)

    Locked and I have this little white board on our fridge where we are able to write down a couple sentences to the other person. Usually it's about chastity/FLR and how we feel, or sometimes Locked will write down suggestions of things he might like, and I can either try them out or totally dismiss them. We're still new to all this and so the fact that he suggests stuff is very helpful. Sometimes the things he suggests I would have NEVER thought he would have ever wanted that, so right now that works good for us. We're not all wrapped up about topping from the bottom in this stage of our relationship.
     
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