Hello!

Discussion in 'Introductions' started by Overlander, Oct 23, 2008.

  1. Overlander
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    Overlander Junior Member

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    I found this great forum a couple of days ago, and joined this evening. I guess that Im here because I seem to fit the profile of the posters very well.

    My wife and I have been exploring bdsm for the entire 19 years of our marriage, but things have changed drastically in the last two of those years.

    That is when she decided to cuckold me, and perhaps I should clarify that a bit. We had previously experienced a more lighthearted kind of cuckolding at various times, light little non-serious affairs. Those were like little erotic games to us.

    This two-year experience started that same way but changed rapidly and is quite different.

    I am now very seriously and it seems permanently cuckolded.

    The current state of her affair is that he spends at least 90% of all weekends here at our house, generally arriving on Friday and leaving Monday morning. It has been that way almost since the very start.

    All of our vacations these past two years have either been all three of us, or just the two of them, they have gone to both Hawaii and Vancouver Island alone together, and have another Hawaii trip planned for just the two of them in February.

    She is making no effort to hide the affair, all of our friends and neighbors know about it, and I presume that most of our extended family members do as well.

    Lastly on the cuckolding theme, I have been banned from her bedroom, and their erotic games. When they first began two years ago I did get to participate or watch on occasion as it had always been with our previous experiences, but she quickly decided to do without my involvement. Now the closest I come to participating is hearing the moans and cries that escape her bedroom to mine.

    She made all of these decisions without consulting with or talking to me about them.

    The above though is a dry record of the situation as it now exists, and I hope that it doesnt give the wrong impression to anyone. I am quite thrilled with the situation.

    Above all, she is very happy, much happier than she ever could be with me alone. I often times wish that he wasnt here every weekend, that we could have some more time alone, but I am delighted by the fact that she basically moved a boyfriend in here without even asking me, moved him right into her bedroom, if confidence in a woman is intoxicating, then I am drunk on her confidence for sure. It is humiliating to visit with people knowing that they are aware of her cuckoldry, much more so when friends are visiting and she is affectionate with him instead of me. Humiliating, but I also get a huge erotic charge from it. I do wish that I could occasionally watch them together, but on the other hand the knowledge that she feels free to ban me from even that is very exciting in its own way.

    The other thing that has changed drastically in these past two years is our sex life. A sex life that no longer exists.

    The first thing she did was ban me from intercourse. She made this decision a year and a month ago and has never gone back on it. I firmly believe that over a year ago I entered my wife for the very last time in this life time.

    Very shortly after that, a matter of weeks, I was banned from giving her oral sex. She had stopped giving oral sex many years prior feeling it to be an overly submissive act. She doesnt give oral to her boyfriend either, for exactly the same reason, and yes, he is submissive to her, and he gives her loads of great oral sex. In any event back to the situation, I also firmly believe that I kissed my wifes beautiful cunt for the last time in my life almost exactly a year ago.

    Last in her progression, she banned me from even touching any of her erogenous zones in an erotic way. It has been many months since I have erotically touched her cunt, breasts, neck, &c. I dont think that Ill be doing so again in this lifetime either.

    I am however allowed to kiss and lick her pretty little asshole every week or two. This has always been a favorite fetish of mine, so I always have an amazing time doing so. This is however a privilege that I know is on shaky ground. Im allowed to do it because it is not an activity that overly excites her boyfriend, and I am allowed his leftovers on occasion. If however he ever truly gets into it, or she finds another boyfriend who loves it Ill be banned from this as well, and I suppose have to move along to her underarms, feet, shoes, or some other leftover.

    Again she made all of these decisions without consulting me or talking to me about them. I was simply expected to obey.

    With the sex as well though I dont want to give the wrong impression. I think it wildly erotic that Im banned from sex, a huge turn on that I dont even get to lick her to orgasm, and oh so sexy that Im not even allowed to touch her breasts or cunt.

    As I mentioned at the start of this intro, we have been married for 19 years. It has always been an extremely strong marriage, but it is even stronger today than it ever was before. She is getting great oral sex on a very regular basis from a man who turns her on tremendously, and I am kept in a state of near constant arousal. Even through this very extreme domination and submission we have not lost sight of the fact that cuckolding should enhance a marriage, not harm it, and I dont think that either of us has ever been more in love with the other than we are right now. Certainly our relationship is radical, but it is also good and strong.

    In answer to all of her decisions outlined above, yes, I did do as I was required, I obeyed. It is often difficult, but on the main I am cheerfully cuckolded, and cheerfully cut off from sexual contact with her.

    Now our relationship is set to change again. She has decided that she is going to ramp up the levels of verbal humiliation I experience, both when we are alone together, and when we are with our kinky friends. She has decided that my own ass must become the closest thing I have to a sexual pleasure center, so intends upon working it a great deal with both plugs and strap-on. Lastly, and most importantly she has decided that severe orgasm denial is in the very near future for me.

    She has decided that since I can no longer give her an orgasm, I dont deserve to have orgasms of my own. Shes also decided that she loves the idea of me hearing her boyfriend cum while I am not allowed to do the same. Lastly she wants a very concrete reminder to me that only her sexual satisfaction is of any importance in our relationship.

    She does not intend on using a device to control my orgasms, rather on very focused mental conditioning, and that bit of fear that makes me obey her in all the other new demands this past year. I have no choice but to obey her in what she desires because I know that she is so serious about my obedience now that if I dont obey her properly she will discard me. That knowledge brings a measure of true fear into the equation and makes obedience much easier for me. It is also amazingly sexy to know that she is so focused upon my obeying her that she will exercise that ultimate option if necessary. As she tells me, my obedience is no longer a game for us, but true reality.

    In any event, we are quite sure that mistakes and weakness will happen, but I will do my best to allow myself to be properly conditioned for her, and my best to obey her. I believe that together we will be successful in controlling my orgasms for long periods of time.

    As for time, she is currently thinking that once every six weeks sounds about right. She intends upon working me up to that point slowly, but not overly slowly.

    She does not believe in using ruined orgasms to clean things out but I will be milked quite frequently. She has enjoyed milking a man for many years now and has a great deal of experience both with the aneros, her fingers, and PES electrical devices.

    I do not know exactly when these new restrictions will begin, but I assume within the next week or two and to be honest I am quite excited about it, as chastity has always been a large fantasy for me.

    We likely would have done some chastity play in the past but she felt it would interfere with our sex life in ways she did not desire. Now that we are without a sex life it should be perfect.

    I guess that is a plenty long introduction!
     
  2. Goddess of Discord
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    Goddess of Discord Obsidian's property

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    and a very welcome one!

    i love the way you write, please continue...

    now i really will be savage with my man tonight.
     
  3. Mistress Watchful
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    Mistress Watchful Dont believe the hype ;oP

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    Welcome Overlander.

    That is truly an intense situation, I'm glad you confirmed several times of your happiness because, as you said, it can come across that this was "forced" upon you and you are being taken advantage of.

    Good luck and good health in your relationship.

    Keep us informed. :animal0008:
     
  4. Overlander
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    Overlander Junior Member

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    GoD,

    Thank you for your kind welcome and compliment. I've greatly enjoyed reading your posts as well.
     
  5. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    AS Mistress WAtchful said thanks for the clarification of your happiness. My first reaction was to say I am sorry but it appears you have what you were looking for so more power to you. Obviously welcome to the forum and we look forward to hearing more from you.
     
  6. Overlander
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    Overlander Junior Member

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    Ms. Watchful,

    Thank you for your welcome.

    It is as you say quite an intense situation we have found ourselves in, but a happy one, and I believe that it will remain so. I think the key to that is the fact that we have had 19 years of practice, actually a bit more than that I guess because we were experimenting with bdsm before we were married as well. Doing some kind or form of bdsm more or less every day for so very long has given us very clear ideas about where we each wish to go, and how to get there without damaging each other, or the love and trust we have maintained and built.

    Was this current situation 'forced' upon me? Yes, I think it was in a sense of the word. We didn't plan it, she just did it, she didn't consult me, she just expected it. The perhaps odd thing though is that is what was needed to get us to this place, and the past two years have shown that this situation is exactly what the two of us needed at this point in our lives, and our relationship. Had we discussed it, had she consulted me about it, we wouldn't have done it. We would have both lost courage before we even started.

    So, if I was rather 'forced' into this, I have to count that as a very good thing, and a great stroke of vision on her part. It does however make it difficult to write about for it is difficult to convey the seemingly opposite facts that I wasn't really given a choice in any of this, but that the lack of choice was a good and positive thing which has allowed our growth to continue.

    If nothing else, it's damned exciting! :whipbang:
     
  7. Overlander
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    Overlander Junior Member

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    Mel's Toy,

    I've been writing about our bdsm adventures for years now, but this was my first time with this new area we are in. In the future I'll try to get the positive feelings about it up at the top instead of further down in the report.
     
  8. Overlander
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    Overlander Junior Member

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    Reading the responses to the introduction I posted, I’ve decided that a bit more clarification is probably in order. I don’t think that my particular kink is unique, but I do think that it is rare and can appear beyond the pale to many folks.

    I am not a physical masochist. Let me tell ya, a light little spanking is even more than I want, I just can’t process physical pain in a pleasurable way. This has always struck me as odd because I’m surrounded by people who can do that so very easily. I’ve watched my wife and others give shocking amounts of physical pain, and watched their toys delight in it. I’ve done a good bit of that myself in the past while exploring the dominant role.

    I am however an emotional, or a mental masochist. I can take a tremendous amount of emotional pain, and it doesn’t really hurt to me. It is a very strong emotional sensation, but my mind somehow turns that pain into pleasure. Exactly the same as so many submissives are able to turn physical pain into pleasure. Like those physical masochists crave and seek out physical sensation, I crave and seek out emotional sensation. I know, it’s weird, but there it is.

    A vanilla person watching a torture scene will never understand how it can be pleasurable to the sub, how the dom is being giving by being cruel. I suppose that it must be the same with me and my craving for emotional cruelty.

    I have thought about this a great deal through the years, wondered about the safety of my particular kink. I think that it is emotionally safe for me to play this way because I don’t suffer emotional torture as a negative; rather it is a positive for me, again just as physical pain is for a physical masochist. I also quite honestly think that my profession has a good deal to do with it. In outside life I’m a fairly influential guy; people look up to me professionally. This has managed to build a fairly significant ego, one that likely not even my wife could dent at her most crazy attempts.

    So, yes, I suffer a great deal of emotional cruelty, but I can process it into a wonderful, erotic, positive experience and I do need that in my life. I don’t think that I suffer any more emotional cruelty than a heavy physical masochist suffers physical cruelty; I think rather that we each just seek out a different form of sensation to process.

    I should also mention that this just didn’t happen. Just as that heavy physical masochist started out with little spankings and slowly learned to process those sensations, slowly moved forward to ever increasing intensity, it has been that way for me as well. As I’ve said, many years of practice.
     
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