Hello

I'm new here and new to the lifestyle. After lurking around for a bit I decided to make an account and share some of my experiences with Chastity.

 

I wanted to provide an update on our progress towards a female led lifestyle based on loving female authority and enforced male chastity. Our path towards a female led relationship began as a natural process in our relationship. In fact, we were already in a female led relationship before either one of use knew that a relationship could be defined as such. However, we would often have arguments as I would try to subvert her control or disagree with her because I thought that was what I had to do to maintain my place in the relationship.

While I am an Alpha male in all other aspects of my life, I have always been sexually submissive to women in relationships. This usually takes the form of me following my partner’s requests in the bedroom and preferring sexual activities that have me in a submissive position to my female partner (eg. 69 with her on top, lots of oral sex for her, always ensuring she has an orgasm from oral before we have intercourse, a dislike of blowjobs, etc.). These submissive type sexual activities have intensified with my wife and she has ruled in our vanilla bedroom from the beginning. We both enjoy this as she is a naturally dominant and powerful feminine presence in the bedroom and it just seems right for both of us with her “on top”.

As with many married couples, life can begin to get in the way of a healthy relationship dynamic. We started a family shortly after getting married and my wife has been pregnant, or we have been dealing with a new baby for the better part of the last three years. Also, I have an extremely demanding career that involves a lot of travel for business with an unpredictable schedule. Additionally, my wife had returned to her career on a part time basis in April of this year. We decided to try for a second child in June of this year and I think we were both surprised at how sexually distant we had become.

We were basically just living as roommates after our first child was born and I know that resentment had built up on both sides from the total lack of intimacy in our relationship. Every time we did have a chance to be intimate, I would immediately attempt to initiate some sort of sexual contact and she would be put off by that because she just wanted to talk and rebuild our connection. Then, I would always be pushing for a hand job while we talked. These encounters just left us both feeling even more disconnected and I would just masturbate in private rather than attempt interaction with my wife. I can recall numerous evenings where I would see my wife reading in bed and I would just go to the office and online rather than interact with her.

This eventually came to a breaking point when we (well, my Wife) decided that we wanted another child to complete our family unit. While she was all of a sudden driven to have intercourse with me, I felt totally used. After a few sexual encounters I confessed to her that I felt like a sperm donor rather than a partner and I stated that I did not want to continue trying for a child while feeling like we had no connection. After this incident, my Wife suggested that we should see a marriage counselor to help get us back on track. Just as we started to see the counselor separately, she had a positive pregnancy test result from our prior sexual encounters. We continued to see the counselor separately, but this became less of a priority for both of us as the “crisis” had passed and we never got to the point of having a joint session with the counselor.

Shortly after this, my wife began to suffer from normal pregnancy symptoms. However, she always has brutal pregnancy symptoms such as: morning sickness for the entire pregnancy, bad cramping after orgasms and exhaustion. This meant that she had zero interest in sexual intimacy as the pregnancy progressed. We slipped back in to our normal routine of ignoring each other after our son went to bed with me masturbating on the computer after she went to sleep. This went on for a couple of months and I was feeling more and more distant from her. Finally I pressed her for a sexual interaction in early September of this year. We ended up having sex but she was not that into it and we ended up having a big fight about it the next day.

I had begun to read about femdom / female led types of relationships online. This slowly took over my nightly masturbation sessions after my wife had gone to sleep. In the meantime, the resentment in our relationship had built up to new highs after our last sexual encounter in early September. I had to travel out of town for a last minute work obligation in mid-October. While I travel a lot for work, this particular trip came at a very bad time as we had company visiting from out of town and my Wife was struggling with pregnancy symptoms as well as caring for our 1 year old son. We had a fight before I left and I was very unhappy when I left.

While I was out of town for work, I began to think about how much happier I would be if I didn’t have to go home. This was extremely troubling for me, as I truly love my Wife and she is my one and only life partner. I did not want to feel this way and I knew that she was probably feeling the same way about me. It was absolutely clear to me that our current relationship model was failing and that we needed to right the ship immediately or the relationship was going to be irreparably damaged. I decided that I needed to confess my desire to try a female led relationship with her and openly accept my role as her supportive and submissive husband.

After returning home from my business trip, I sat down with my Wife and confessed how I was feeling about our relationship and my desires to try a new female led approach to our relationship with clearly defined roles and new responsibilities for both partners that would fall outside of “traditional roles” but not really be all that far from the way we were currently living. I also confessed that I had been masturbating 10-12 times a week in private and asked for her help refocusing that energy on or relationship. My wife had never heard of a female led relationship and we ended up doing some reading together over the next few nights.

After a bit of research and reading together, my wife observed that we were already living in a low level female led relationship but that I had just not done a very good job at accepting that fact in the past. My wife indicated that she would be interested in trying out a higher level female led relationship where her decision making power would be absolute in some areas and I would embrace my role as her supportive, but submissive, husband under her loving authority. We informally agreed on the following changes to our relationship on a trial basis:

• Major life direction and financial decisions would remain joint decisions with both partners having equal input.
  
  
• I will continue to handle the finances and pay all bills as she does not like to deal with this and considers it a form of pampering to have me deal with the finances. Any purchases for myself over 50 dollars will have to be approved by her in advance. We currently both have separate bank accounts and credit cards in addition to a shared account and credit card. My wife may ask me to close my private accounts in the future and exclusively use the joint accounts, but we are not currently taking this step.
  
  
• All household chores, whether they are traditionally “pink” or “blue” jobs will become my responsibility. However, she will assist when possible as we both have busy work schedules. We will also continue to have a maid come once every two weeks to assist with cleaning. My wife will make a “honey do” list for me to complete each evening after our son goes to bed and before I would be allowed to enjoy any free time. Failure to complete the list will result in some form of punishment at her discretion. To symbolize this change, She ordered a pink girly apron for me to wear while I am completing my househusband chores whenever possible. The apron has been hung prominently in the kitchen and if anyone asks about it, we say it’s hers, but we both know who it really belongs to…
  
  
• All sexual contact and release will be under her full control and I will not have input on sex going forward. I will be permitted to initiate sexual contact, but things would only proceed at her discretion and I was to accept her decision as final at all times. We have both agreed to try new things in the bedroom and I have fully confessed all of my deepest submissive male desires to my wife. I am also not allowed to keep any sexual fantasies from her and I must confess any new dirty thoughts to her on a regular basis to keep things open and honest.
  
  
• I had confessed to my Wife that I wanted to try wearing panties in the bedroom a number of years ago and we had a couple of pairs that I would wear during sex in the past. My wife has encouraged me to wear panties every day under our new arrangement. She often sets a pair out for me before I get home from work or tells me to put them on in the morning if it’s a home day for me.
  
  
• We both agreed to implement an orgasm control regimen for me to break my masturbation habit. We decided to try a male chastity device and I immediately started wearing my CB6000S once it arrived. After the initial adjustment period, I have been wearing the cage for 2 months with only supervised removals for cleaning and approved releases. My wife holds the keys on a keychain with ovaries on it that says “grow a pair”.
  
  
• Any bad behavior on my part will be subject to punishment at her discretion. Specifically, she can add days to my normal lock up period, spank me over her lap or use any other reasonable means of punishment to keep me in line. She just sticks to adding days of chastity for the most part but this may change after she is done with her current pregnancy.
  
  
• We are to spend time together as a couple each day. This normally consists of us spending around 30 minutes together in bed after our son goes to sleep and before my wife goes to sleep. Usually I am pampering her in some way like rubbing her feet or scratching her back while we talk. We also enjoy snuggling and reading FLR blogs together while she temporarily removes my cages for a quick tease.

We are currently two months into our female led relationship experience and we are both loving the new intimacy and the general lack of arguments / resentment. I recently asked my wife if she wanted to go back to our old ways or if she would be ok with me not putting my cage back on after a release. She stated that she didn’t think she could ever go back to our old egalitarian relationship model and that I’d better get used to the chastity cage as it wasn’t going anywhere but back on my little dick. I think it’s safe to say that she is liking her new well defined roll as the female head of our household.

 

let me know if anyone has suggestions on how my wife should continue to evolve our new relationship model for long term success.