Hello! New to chastity!

hello @summersub what a nice name that is. anyway welcome to here.

 

Hello and a very warm welcome

 

Welcome! Hang in there, as your wife may warm to the idea. It may take some time and some creativity on your part to coax her into playing along. Have fun! Hugs!

 

Welcome, Summersub! Come often and contribute to the fun! Would those be your heels in the avatar or your Mistresses? You never know where things will lead. 5 years ago, your description of your wife could well have been of mine. Then, She caught me wearing panties and blew up! Later, She recognized that I have a feminine side and She began to take advantage of that knowledge and has feminized me over time. Now, years later, I am locked in chastity telling you to take your time and be sure to open up the communication with your wife on many levels. Through that, she may come to know you better and how, through your submission, she can enjoy tremendous power over you.

 

Welcome!

 

Greetings.

 

Welcome i am in a similar predicament however i dont have the courage to say anything i wear my cage on the sly here and there, let us know how you get on!

 

Be careful with the urethral inserts. Make sure they are super clean. I got a urinary infection a while back and I suspect it was from a former cage I used which had a urethral insert built in. Otherwise, I hope you have fun.

 

Welcome. I took me three tries to get my wife interested. What worked for me was starting off with just teasing and orgasm denial using the honor system. Explained that it was a Tantric sex practice to increase my orgasm by denying me a few times. So we did that a few times and when I did orgasm, I made a big show of it, although I did not have to add much acting to it in reality. We kept doing that and then I wondered how it will feel if I abstained longer. So we did that and my wife saw how much more intense my orgasm was. We took baby steps in increasing the time between my orgasms. My wife also began to like having an orgasm anything she wanted to without have to reciprocate. I think few women get to just lay back and have a man perform oral and then get out of the bed and carry on without having to then do anything to the guy.

We went on like that for a few months and when my wife suggested we go for a longer denial period I said that it would be great but I would need some help because my will power was not going to last that long. She asked me what help and I showed her the CB6000. She told me to order it but after it came she did not want to hold the keys. That was OK because I was taking on and off a lot to try new sizing and for bedtime. My wife used to call sex without my orgasm, fake sex and it took her awhile to get used to the odd vision of her husband with a locked penis. Eventually she got used to me wearing it and then I told her that she needed to hold the keys because the temptation to masturbate was too much for me to overcome for as long as we wanted to deny me an orgasm.

It took a better part of the year for my wife to come aboard. Year two was much better. The guilt she felt in denying me was starting to fade but still a problem when I was denied for longer than a few weeks and begged her to let me orgasm and I was having problems getting a full night of sleep due to waking up with morning wood. You need to get your wife to understand that denying you is giving you pleasure, not orgasms all the time. What we did was to negotiate the least amount of orgasms I could handle and then my wife just needed to meet the minimum and was free to give me more or none after that. Playing chastity games helps alleviate guilt because she is not the one determining how long you go without an orgasm. Eventually my wife felt that the games took the control out of her hands so we stopped playing them.

We also had a list of rules which like most chastity contracts was basically a user manual of what I wanted her to do to me. I knew that if I did this, she would do that and it was basically topping from the bottom which I think is necessary to teach someone not familiar with the fetish. Then we kept changing the rules as we discussed each week what worked and did not work for us. It was not long before it got so complicated with rules conflicting and no one remembering the latest changes, that we made just one rule. My wife makes the rules, does not have to tell me and can change them at any time without prior notice. That worked well for us.

Another issue was my wife saying that being a key holder was work. She did not want to supervise my showers and constantly check that I was locked and did not use the emergency key. Always have an emergency key because that is safe and sane fetish play, no matter the fetish. It is the things you cannot imagine happening that will bite you in the ass. I never once thought I would have a kidney stone that infected my cheat so badly that a lung partially collapsed and I was rushed into the emergency room after calling 911. They had to go into my Urethra to remove it and then put a stent and catheter in. had I not been able to unlock myself it would have wasted precious minutes. Do not believe when they say that hospitals are equipped to cut them off. They are not, at least not smaller regional hospital and certainly not at midnight on a Sunday. Not an easy task cutting your penis free either even if they had some equipment to do so and could find someone trained to use it. Take a key, wrap it with paper and then tape it all over. Have your wife sign both sides so she knows if it was opened or not. This way you can carry it when you go out and far away from home.

To make it easy on my wife I promised to remain locked up all the time unless she gave me permission not to. We also agreed that I would not be locked up if not practical. After all, this is a fun sex game and not torture. BTW, you do not need to have a D/s relationship for this to work. My wife is submissive but when it comes to sex she is the dominant one because I chose to submit to her. Outside of the bedroom we are our regular selves except that she likes to tease me sexually. She does not give me orders and I do not call her Mistress. I also promised never to masturbate without permission too. That made being a key holder very easy for her. She only had to decide if being locked up was practical and whether or not she wanted me locked up during sex.

Teach or have your wife read about edging and ruined orgasms. They make sex fun and pleasurable for both of you. It was not until the 3rd year that my wife finally believed that denying me an orgasm was giving me pleasure and did not make her a bad wife or a cock teaser. We also do not use sex or orgasms as sexual currency. If my wife told me that I will have an orgasm on my birthday, nothing I did would delay or hasten my orgasm. In year three we explored how long I could go without an orgasm. 4 months was my limit. I had a safe word so that my wife could tell when I was actually serious when I begged for an orgasm or just part of the game. A safe word is something we always used in our fetish play. My word is simply "red". If I say it, it means that I am in distress and to stop what is going and to talk about it.

In year 4 I left everything to my wife as far as how long to deny me. By then she knew if I was in actual physical and mental distress plus I trusted her to know that and to not take me longer than I could endure. So I never had to worry that she was going to deny me for a year or forever. This method continues to work great for us. It actually enables me to endure chastity much longer since I do not have to worry about my orgasms. I know that my wife loves me and knows when enough is enough. This past weekend my wife noticed that I was tired all the time. She asked why and I told her that I had woken up two mornings in a row due to a painful erection while caged. One day later she gave me a surprise orgasm.

We started year 5 by playing it by year and no more months of orgasm denial. One month is our goal and the sweet spot for me. If I do not have an orgasm longer than that, the orgasm I finally have is not as good as it would be if I had it sooner. Plus my urethra burns from the straining after months of no orgasm. We are not doing chastity for me to suffer or my wife to dominate and torture me. That was her ex girlfriend's job. We are doing this for both of us to have fun. My initial mistake with my wife was to present chastity as part of a BDSM fetish that I enjoyed with our girlfriend. She does not like to hurt me but will do so on occasion if I chide her about not backing up her threats with action.

One last tip is to remember that although you are aware of being locked up all the time, your wife is not. We tend to annoy our wives with chastity talk when it is not on their minds as it is ours. So either set aside a few minutes to discuss chastity or 15 minutes on a weekend. It is a good time to discuss what works and does not work for the both of you. I need my wife to acknowledge my chastity status every so often, so that I do not feel that I am locked away and forgotten about. When we kiss goodnight she grabs my penis and makes me get hard, or at least try withing the confines of my cage.