'Doc' gives green light

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by SUTTONSEEDS, Dec 29, 2009.

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  1. SUTTONSEEDS
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    Well, im back in, locked up, after the best part of three weeks, went to see the doctor this morning , and he seemed quite happy with my vasectomy recovery, At the moment it feels fine, as I wasnt sure if id even be able to wear my device again, (due to the reshaping of things in my scrotum,) but its on, not the same fit as I had been wearing, but im hoping to work up to that, as it was very secure and very comfy.
    Really hope everything goes well, and then surprise my partner tonight, if she doesnt feel it first. I encouraged my key holder to watch a few hand job videos ( on the net) whilst out of chastity, think it was called hand job techniques or something, and my god, I wish id done it years ago, with the help of plenty of lubrication, and her newly learnt techniques , she has me squirming in ecstasy . If you do one thing today, check out these sites, and more importantly get your key holder to. It makes me tingle just thinking about it. Ive also ordered a few more items to spice things up a little, blind fold, mouth gags and a masturbator toy. ( the thought of using these things has kept me going whistled out.) So heres to 2010, and hoping for a fantastically, frustrating ,year of denial.
     
  2. SUTTONSEEDS
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    so far so good

    Well, its been pretty good so far, about the same discomfort as the first time, and as for surprising my key holder, this evening, well I left my last post on the computer, on word, which she then read. But she did appear to be quite glad to be back in control. I have been masturbating quite regularly lately whilst free, partly to excrete any last fertile I have, but main due to my weak will power. Soon my ejaculations will serve no meaningful purpose, apart from for filling my own wanton desires, A point I hope my key holder will remind me of, when im laid there begging for that finale intervention to send me over the edge and into bliss. As I see it, ejaculating is my only real weakness, of which I have little or no control. I see chastity as, asking my key holder to take away my weakness, to train me to be stronger than it, to show me both paths, weakness and strength, and occasionally to take my a little way down the path of weakness, to therefore make me stronger, and then when I am close to the end to my journey along the path of strength, and when I am at my most resilient, to show me who is in command and to make me weak, pitiful and inadequate once again. I am now setting out on that journey again.
     
  3. SUTTONSEEDS
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    Hand over

    Today I felt happy enough to hand over the keys to my partner, She has been very understanding, due to effects my newly healed wounds could have provoked, But I am back to the same fit I was using before my op, so here we go again, Hope the understanding part is left there. The tingling sensations have already began, probably due to all the previous attention id been giving my parts, (whilst free) but now their not mine anymore, and the keys hidden again. Tonight I hope to encourage my key holder to determine the possible length of my abstinence, I know it sounds cheeky to request anything, in my position, but I do like to count down the period of denial, like I used to with my advent calendar ,
    Ive bought some dice, of various sides, so hope a system can be thought up. Going back to becoming horny, It usually takes me about 4 days, and I was just wondering if there was anything on the market, to speed up and increase these feeling, (that really work!) Here wondering how long fate has planned for me this time.
     
  4. PGsslave
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    how long did you have to stay out of the cage after vasectomy? I'ml more than likely going to have that done first of march.
     
  5. SUTTONSEEDS
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    Nearly three weeks, wouldnt have wanted to try any sooner. Would really advise that you do as little as pos, for the first few days, and nothing extreme for the first two weeks, good luck.
     
  6. SUTTONSEEDS
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    Ive been back, locked up for about, 4-5 days (really should start to keep a better count) need a system. Not long I know for some, and at the moment im willing to go a lot further than ive gone before, but I haven’t got a lot of say in that. I finished the year with some of the most exciting attention ive received so far, lets just say totally helpless, on all fours , and feeling very vulnerable (second only to the vasectomy) but still very arousing. It doesn’t look like ill be getting any attention for a few days due to the confines of reality, which im kind of glad about, and apart from a few periods of wall climbing throughout the day, im feeling pretty good, I know from experience that the closer I get to 7 days, the more eager I get, got to keep busy. I bought some various sided dice, for my key holder, and gave them to her the other night, hoping she would create some sadistic system to establish when my next possible chance of cuming would be, This was a big risk as these dice in various combinations could have added up to a very frustrating period, but I was strict not to interfere in the proceedings, disappointingly she only choose a small sided dice and rolled a 2, which I should be made up about, but strangely I was hoping for a frustrating 21 days or something, I really wish my key holder could be a little more cruel
     
  7. SUTTONSEEDS
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    Whilst longingly waiting for sexual attention, I spend my time dreaming up new ways that I wish my key holder would toy with me, the 2 best ones today ive thought up with are, her asking me to think of 2 numbers, one between say 1 and 24 and the other between 1 and 60, then she places her hand the length in inches away from my penis,(obviously im restrained at this point) if ive guessed well, then im close enough to do some serious damage, if not im left struggling just to get a glancing touch,( this would need some forethought) the other number being the length in seconds get to play.
    Game 2 would be to link the amount of cum I produce to the length of time til my next release, I.e. 10ml =4 weeks, 20ml, =3 weeks and so on, therefore encouraging me to explode when the time ‘comes’ this would also balance out the slight disappointing feeling I get ,when I cum(the more the merrier) I think id make a pretty good key holder if the role were reversed
     
  8. SUTTONSEEDS
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    I invited my key holder to read the thoughts I have put down upon this site last night, which I am glad to say she did, im not sure if it’s the done thing, but I suppose we’ve been pretty honest with each other, so far and I don’t think ive written anything that would upset or disappoint her. Anyway she has left me a short note which basically reads “wait and see” Just the fact that she has taken the time to digest what I have read, is very encouraging, I spent my time at work, wondering , when I would be able to drive back home due to the adverse weather conditions, it was a new feeling again, I mean its one thing knowing your key holder is in charge, but when mother nature, also has the power to restrain you, then you know your place. One other thing dawned on me today, whilst doing some tidying of the bedroom, I discovered an abundant supply of condoms, a couple of un opened boxes, when I think of all the times, in the past, when discovery of the lack of contraception, spoiled a good sexual encounter, and now going by recent evidence, I think we’ve probably got enough for the next couple of years, and I hope to be sterile in the next two month . Life!
     
  9. SUTTONSEEDS
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    Will be entering my seventh day tomorrow, o.k. not long by somes standards, but as my record is only about eight days, and speaking from my little experience the seventh day really ups the anti, (as far as wanting to cum), Im hoping (praying) for some attention tomorrow night, Im planning on asking what my keyholder would think to the ‘marbles game‘, afar as deciding what attention I get, she could determine the amount of marbles, which colours, and therefore the chances of me getting a wash, a rub, e.t.c. Im kind of hoping my key holder will let me break my record,( secretly hoping to go for two weeks)just hope I can last that long, (no choice really) Just one last thought, I had whilst driving home from work, the person who could design a chastity device, which could be controlled via mobile phone, to perform various functions, such as scrotum squeezing, or edging e.t.c. would make a lot of money, Some times when my balls are straining, I like to imagine its my keyholders grasp, (“those boys are mine”) what function would you have installed ?
     
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    Review of 2009

    Well heres where ive been, and where im up to. I began this journey, about June, just starting to get our lifes back, having spent the last couple of years living with the riggers of babies, The this step, was for my partner and I to find each other again, weve also ways had a strong relationship, but it was time to establish some our time With this in mind I began to consider our sex life, and how we could keep things fresh, so with the help of a few newly bought sex toys, we began the process, I think I can pin point the moment I realised that I want my partner to dominate me, Its was the first time I saw her , use and then orgasm whilst using a dildo, It absolutely blew me away, and played on my mind for quite some time, I remember the feeling of jealously, whilst it was happening, the thought of how this object, was doing what I should be, and appearing to do it so much better. ( needless to say it was a little larger than me, )This ultimately made me feel quite inadequate, and hopelessly turned on, eagerly waiting for the next time she would cheat on me with this toy, This lead me down the path of role-play, and domination, I can remember want to feel help, as my partner pleasured her self, this began with being restrained, to then , the next milestone, discovering cock cages, I bought one, very cheap, insecure, but the feeling of my errection pressing hard against the metal cage, was enough for me to go further, so I bought the next series up, another rather uncultured cage, which due to its weight pulled everything south, but did do the job for short periods, then the final step, investing in a CB6000s, the cost put me off for a while, and want to leave it until Christmas and therefore buy it with any money I was given, but the bug had got me, and I couldnt wait, so with one effortless click of the mouse, I inadvertently would reduce my orgasms by about 90%, After much impatience waiting, it arrived, wow, what a gadget , a gadget mans dream, and before you could say tease and denial it was on, I remember the first few weeks being very frustrating but for the wrong reasons, as just when I thought id got a good fit, my balls would painfully escape, or id spend an painful night, But with time, and I have to say the help of fellow site members, I cracked it, Now the task of encouraging my partner to forefil the role of key holder and mistress, We bought a copy of key holders guide to chastity, which we both read, and I think my partner got it, She said she feet happy, but was a bit unsure were it was all leading, I assured her that, I felt that our expectation , like with so many other things would probably be similar, and that if there was anything she wasnt happy about , then she was in charge anyway, So once a good fit was achieved, It was time to hand over the key, and write a contract. Well that was about three months ago, ive had to remind me partner that she is actually in charge, and on occasion test her, by asking for the key, which to begin with she was only to happy to offer, but as time goes on , she is growing into the role. Then came to vasectomy, apart from the obvious effects, I felt it would display my devotion to my partner, and incidentally it would associate with my role as inferior. Ten came the recovery period, rest ,anxiety and much masturbation, But once the doctor put my worries to rest, back on it went, and thats pretty much it, Im chastised 24/7, going for my longest spell,( 7 days at the moment, with periods of sheer animal urges, im sat here hoping for a least a wash to night and at most a good session of tease and denial, Ive also discovered my partners tens machine ( used massage, by giving off small electrical pulses, ( needless to say were im hoping she will strap it, I had a trail run this morning, and have found the experience to be anything from highly pleasurable, to extremely painful, therefore I hope to show my key holder my limits, and then hope she will push them .
    Im sure this will make me love her even more, if that is possible.
     
  11. SUTTONSEEDS
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    Before I forget, my key holder has made a few ‘new year’ amendment to our contract, the first one being, due to my training I am to be only allowed 2 climaxes a month, ( im hoping I get to a ‘birthday special ‘written in) and secondly that I will be milked into a container, and then will immediately consume any cum I produce on these occasions, therefore ending the need to clean up, and in the long run educate my body that these excretions are pointless.
     
  12. SUTTONSEEDS
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    Well, that’s was an interesting session, after giving my key holder a full body massage, she proceeded to chain and cuff me up, before placing the electrodes either side of my cage, therefore touching my balls, once she had it on the appropriate setting, which appeared to be just placing me in enough discomfort,( the pulse goes on every 10 seconds, she then got me to pleasure her orally, It was quite exciting, but once I got used to the severity of the pulse, it lost its meaning, after she'd had her orgasm, she cranked it up a notch, and began kissing me, reassuring me, telling me to be strong, this although bloody painful, became extremely erotic and powerful, unfortunately after this she, let me out and proceeded to tease me, which I begged her to continue, this inevitably lead to a ruined orgasm, for which to both our disappointment I could not stop. Obviously annoyed she collected the semen upon my stomach, and force fed me, which did not seem quite as appealing post ejaculation, So here I am again, looking forward into the future, patiently waiting for my next adventure, with a semi empty sack, cum in my stomach, and disappointed mistress .
     
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    Quick up date, due to last nights unfortunate events, I am now looking down the barrel of a rather long period of denial, double my previous best, also ive been told that if I mention my predicament, or try to influence my key holder in any way, this will be extended, plus I am no longer allowed to speak during any sessions she does allow, this would end play immediately .
     
  14. xcitex2
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    xcitex2 Back from the past!

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    So one has to ask does this mean posting here as well? I certainly hope not as it looks like you just added some time! LOL Thanks for sharing your events. I am not sure I would be able to stomach the cum however but I guess if you don't have a choice then perhaps it is of nothing to be concerned about.
     
  15. SUTTONSEEDS
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    In response to your comment, I hope not, I think that if I didn’t have this journal as an outlet, id explode, especially late at night, or when im not busy, as my head just fills with peculiar, and mind blowing scenarios, and ideas, and as I am now not allowed to mention anything involving my chastity, and cannot speak during ‘play time’ im a bit stuck. My latest late night fantasy , involves a home made milking table, restraints , and then given ‘encourage’ to lap up my long delayed sterile waste , be it pleasurable , or more likely painful encouragement, Im willing to risk , ‘postponement’ in order to realize this. And im sure when my K.H. hears my suggestion, she will covet the opportunity. I am due a wash this evening, the one thing I can suggest, and if I thought a few months ago that the highlight of my week would be watching my key holder quickly wiping my genitals, then id have cried, In fact many times I have questioned my reasoning , as why I ever suggested this lifestyle to my partner, as ,(and im not exaggerating) apart from being a wonderful person, she is also extremely sexy, Last night she had sex with my cb6000s, as I just lay there dribbling, then we kissed and she rolled over, to go to sleep, and I just lay there looking at her beautiful warm soft curves, As it stands, by our currant understanding , I stand (with good behaviour) to achieve roughly 600 climaxes, in the remainder of my life, this could have been closer to 10 000 (1 per day) I dread to think off how much full sex I have and will miss out on. But this is not to say id change a thing!, roll on tonight’s wipe over.
    By the way thanks for the reply I was beginning to think no one cared. Lol.
     
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    Well I received my half weekly clean this evening, was mentally crying out for a few strokes, but I kept my discipline and my mouth shut, I seem to have gone through the wall, quite strongly today as I have to say I haven’t felt that horny, usually it starts about day 4, and builds and builds, but after my ruined orgasm on Sunday, I remained quite aroused, until today, although I have been quite busy. I am slowly and mentally ticking off the days until the 18th, (my next possible chance of an orgasm) This will smash my record, and possible because at the moment it seems so far away, im not getting that worked up about it up about it. I will spend this time creating my milking table, which will consist of a genital lock, and cum receptacle, Im quite looking forward to using it, but am a little apprehensive, as laying there having been brought to orgasm, I hope my K.H. will ‘make’ me lap up my cum, I fear it may appear quite embarrassing to my K.H., although she quite happily pour my last ejaculation down my throat.
    I can only explain my kink as this, The complete restraint, takes away my control, leaving me helpless, and therefore empowering my K.H .The rest of the scenario, is about essentially being so weak and pathetic , that I will basically do anything (legal) for my K.H to satisfy my dirty urges.( which I have to confess, I would) If your reading this thinking, hang on a minute, this is all about you, and your needs, then I can only reply, I agree, Unfortunately my K.H. isn’t nearly demanding enough, I would love her to say “right that needs doing, this needs doing, Im going for a sit down and if its not done right!” ( it would also remind me about my predicament, and more importantly that she’s aware, and in charge of it) or be more demanding sexually,
    I suppose I should remember how lucky I am to be with this wonderful woman, and have the understanding to achieve the possibilities a long and loving relationship provides.
     
  17. SUTTONSEEDS
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    Went to bed last night biting the duvet at one point
    And woke you with a ball stinging erection, into day 4,with possible 10 to go,
    I spent the early hours of the morning create a new, ‘basic’ contract, as I felt that some of the parts of the old contract didn’t apply, or that now that we’ve gone past the honeymoon phase, new conditioned hadn’t been covered, I hope to approach my K.H. with it later, I think she will agree with it, as it gives her more rights, and therefore more power over me, if that’s possible.
     
  18. SUTTONSEEDS
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    Day 5, 10 to go. Have felt pretty average today, don’t know if it’s the ‘getting used to it’ stage, Its quite nice, not to be constantly dwelling, about the subject of sex, its also been very cold today, which may account for this as well, I have began constructing my ‘milking table’, trying to keep it simple, but the more I do, the more elaborate it becomes, Ive got to say, its seems to have been the most drawn out 5 days, of my life, I had a bit of a heart to heart with my partner, last night also, I don’t know if it is just the orgasm denial kicking in or what, but I just don’t feel like my partner is ‘getting’ the whole key holder thing, It seems like a very fine line between, denial, and neglect, I know, I kind of signed up for this type of thing, but knowing that my key holder has a very low, if none existed libido, I sometime feel, that she thinks it is all an excuse to ‘not be bothered’ with it all, I don’t want ,or expect constant attention, but just to feel as if she is ‘on board’ would be nice, a suggestive remark here, an improper grope there, would make me at least feel as if, im not alone here, I felt as if our chat was constructive, and it ended with her demanding oral pleasure, but again I feel as if im constantly having to push the buttons and direct the whole process, I haven’t said anything ,to influence my key holder today, but im,(reading from experience) due some teasing/cleaning tonight. So it will be interesting to see what, if anything develops, As I have said before I do not feel that needy tonight, but then again maybe that is a good reason to ‘actively’ frustrate me a little. There ive just said it, ‘Actively’, hit the nail on the head, yes I want neglect, denial, frustration, but actively !, If you weren’t there to see, the snowflake fall, then it may as well have not happened, (even if, as with chastity, it leaves a very small damp patch.)
     
  19. SUTTONSEEDS
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    Well nothing to night then, I did hear her hint of a clean tomorrow night, I was kind of hoping for some attention this evening, As I have said previously, I cannot say if my feelings are due to me predicament , and state of mind, but I do feel at a cross roads at the moment, wondering if chastity is really having a beneficial effect upon our relationship, as I feel a little resentful, towards my partners lack of affection/attention, and to be honest a little bored by it all, when I first started out on this road, the freshness of it all, kept me excited, and interested, the alien feeling of the device, the lustful day dreaming of all the ways my partner would frustrate me, Now I just seem to sit here, typing away, constantly moaning, I haven’t said anything tonight, would really have liked to have explained my feelings, but then she would probable have reacted to them, leaving me feeling in control, and being pushy. And anyway I thought we had really moved on, when we spoke last night, but it appears not. Could really do with some words of wisdom, failing that, some support. As I feel at the moment this ‘journey’ may be coming to an end ,as at the moment this isn’t much fun.
     
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