Day 18, Just a few thoughts.

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by steph17, Mar 23, 2010.

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  1. steph17
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    steph17 Junior Member

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    To be honest I dont know if I want to go any further with this chastity expieriance it all started as my idea to give us a new angle on our sex life and a bit of power exchange. My wife/KH had always found it difficult taking full control in the sex department and when I was in a belt or device I could always twist things until I was released.
    This time things are much different as once my KH realised that the pa-5000 could be worn by me with very little or no discomfort and it was easy to keep clean and after I had tried a few ideas to reach orgasm without success something must have clicked with my KH as I dont have any hope of release by my twisting things to make her give in.
    In fact I have been told that if I attemt this then she will start adding days to the 28 day period set by her and I dont know if I can take another 10 days without orgasm. I have even thought about starting a big arguement about letting me out but I do know that it would be very nasty to do so but after 18 days my mind is very confused, Last night I was orderd to the bedroom and my KH was standing there in heels stockings corset and thong all in black with her blonde hair tied back.
    I immiediatly tried to get erect and all I wanted to do was get between those legs and get some pleasure and one big orgasm.
    Well both things did happen just not the way I wanted, My head got between those legs and I did not get the orgasm and after my key holder rubbed my back and said quietly you really should be careful what you wish for.
    I really dont know if I can last another day but can I really expect to get things all my own way?.
     
  2. JackStrap
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    JackStrap Member

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    Almost sorry for you

    I removed the original answer as it was no good.

    Sorry. I did not read your message fully through before answering.

    I wish you best of luck and strength.
     
  3. JackStrap
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    JackStrap Member

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    Whoooooops. Sorry for giving you bad ideas.

    I hope you both get what you wished for. You only have one third of the period left....
     
  4. Anne-Lore
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    Anne-Lore Sissy Apprentice

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    I think you are a very lucky guy :) I have no KH for instance, so I'd love to be in a situation like that. You already have what most of us just dream about... By serving your Mistress you will find your pleasure too.
     
  5. asonx355
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    asonx355 Hey there, how are you?

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    While I am new to the site and have not kept up with anything that you have written...here are just a few thoughts over this particular journal entry.

    One of the great things about chastity is that, at least to me, we begin to focus on our partners needs. This more so than our own. This seems to be one example that her needs are starting to be met. It is hard not to think with owns penis, but the satisfaction of bringing your partner to orgasm is, for me, an extremely gratifying experience.

    With 10 days left, embrace the fact that she is taking control and you are pleasing her. You are in a great position and the rewards will far out weigh what might seem unbearable at the present. Just keep up the good work.
     
  6. steph17
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    steph17 Junior Member

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    I seem to be in a constant state of being semi aroused and feeling horny all of the time, This is the first time I have been locked in a device this long (over 3 weeks now)and I still have to reach the 28 day period. I cant say I feel bad or depressed because I cant jerk off when I want but I do feel there is a bit of unfinished buissness that needs taken care of. Any way enough of my feelings.
    My KH is really enjoying the whole situation right now and I think she would like to extend the period as she is getting plenty of attention and sex is all about her needs and I have been willing to give her an orgasm or 2 or 3 or 4--------- when there is any play time. In the past when she had her fun I could make her feel guilty and get her to give me some attention but things are now at a different angle and I get no release and now I can feel what it is like to watch her cum and not get to cum myself aaaaah the memories. I know Iam enjoying pleasing my KH at the moment but I would like a bit myself and my KH knows if I do get to cum then my mood will change. Am I controlled by a female or my penis ??????????.
     
  7. Anne-Lore
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    Anne-Lore Sissy Apprentice

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    By HER penis, you wanted to say, right?! :)
     
  8. countachcx
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    countachcx Senior Member

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    Just get your pleasure from having your head between her legs : )
    Focus on that.
     
  9. steph17
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    steph17 Junior Member

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    Well 28 days is getting closer and the latest thoughts of my KH are that I will be sad if she removes the device. I have said that getting to cum will be a great relief and pleasure even at the cost of the loss of the constant sexual high I have at the moment.
    The big problem for me is my KH intention to lock me back in the device after I get the release and she is trying to get me to give my word that I will put up no protest and allow it to happen.
    Now to make sure that I get my release it will be easy to give my word but when it comes to actually doing it I may not stick to my word, Does anyone have any thoughts on this ?.
     
  10. lockednloaded
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    lockednloaded Senior Member

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    I went circa 8 months in my CB initially, then kinda in & out randomly, then back in for quite some time and now I'm back in while we try for a baby!

    Yes I know that sounds weird, but it's not that much different to when I was in 24/7 for 8 months as back then I genuinely had no idea of when I was going to be unlocked and this is exactly the same in that respect, except obviously I am aware that it won't be 8 months!

    We have agreed that even if we lay down for a "cuddle" and it leads to anything further (me going down on her for example), that that won't automatically mean that I will be unlocked for sex and in fact the last few days has been exactly that and I've been left feeling uber frustrated!

    C'est la vie!!

    I hope that helps in some small way!
     
  11. Celtic Queen
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    Celtic Queen Senior Member

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    This sounds to me like chastity play rather than your actual submission to your KH. No problems with that per se - as long as you are BOTH clear on what you are attempting to achieve. Focus on the sexual high you have at the moment. If you cheat and lie to her about going back into chastity, she might not bother to KH for you again and save herself some grief - do you want to risk that?

    My grasp of it is that connection between your own sexual gratification and your submission needs to be clear in your head. If you really want to submit, sexual gratification by way of ejaculation becomes very secondary to all the other sensations you are feeling right now. Your pleasure should come from how you make her feel. Now that's very easy for me to say as I'm not a guy but as a loving wife, KH and Domme, I have had to spend a lot of time seeing the world from my hub's point of view to make things work. That means being very strict about release, not giving in to whining or pressure and varying levels of punishment for transgressions. You are in training right now so are going through lots of emotions and needs. She also needs to help here. If you do lie to get out then refuse to go back in then if you are both serious about persuing this way of life, you can expect punishment until you comply.

    You are submitting - not negotiating. Be careful what you wish for........
     
  12. Anne-Lore
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    Anne-Lore Sissy Apprentice

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    She should apply some bondage on you. For instance securing your arms to the bed before removing the device. Or use a collar to which your wrists can be attached. It is the only way, otherwise after the ejaculation you will suddenly change your mind even if you think now you won't.
     
  13. steph17
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    steph17 Junior Member

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    I am going to get my KH wife to read these post before the release date so as she knows my state of mind prior to releasing me and if any of the persons posting at the moment have any advice for my KH wife you can post them here and I garantee my SO will read them before my beautiful KH wife turns the key.
     
  14. lockednloaded
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    lockednloaded Senior Member

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    I guarantee you that although your first orgasm after release may seem euphoric, you will almost certainly feel "let down" afterwards and want to be locked up again.

    If your Wife on the other hand decides that she wants your cock inside her, then that's a different matter, but if she reads this I would absolutely recommend keeping you locked up for a longer period and to just increase the teasing by extra sessions of you going down on her for example.

    Plenty!


    The only advice I have for your Wife/KH is to ignore any pleas you make to be unlocked/cum!

    You have done well so far, but you need to go further to really begin to appreciate what you have IMO.

    Good luck and welcome to the party! :Locker:
     
  15. steph17
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    steph17 Junior Member

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    Why Lockednloaded will I feel let down? and why would I possibly want to get my penis encased again so soon after getting what I crave?.
     
  16. steph17
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    steph17 Junior Member

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    I have not been locked up for this long before and lockednloaded you seem to think I should be denied for a further period of time when I already feel as if I could not last another hour, cumming is all that is on my mind right now and my KH taking that away is worrying.
     
  17. lockednloaded
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    lockednloaded Senior Member

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    And therein lies the problem!

    You want to be locked up, teased and denied orgasm, but you want it on your terms?

    It doesn't work like that I'm afraid, you can't have your cake and eat it!!

    You asked your Wife to take control of your cock and decide when you are released and allowed an orgasm.

    Also, being release/unlocked does not mean you will have be getting an orgasm-I have been locked up what I consider to be long term (8 months) and during that I did not have one orgasm and I was teased mercifully by my Wife and sometimes I was placed in our bondage equipment and then released from my CB while she played with my cock and masturbated me. Every time I thought she was going to do it and let me cum and release the gallons of cum in my balls, but no-she did it to heighten my feelings.

    I remember the first time I came after being unlocked and released and as fantastic as it was (esp after 8 months!), there was definately a feeling of deflation afterwards (as in the lock up was all over).

    When (and only when) you are released and have cum, you will comepletely be able to identif with what I have said.

    In the meantime, all you are interested in is cumming (which I would presume is part of your life you wanted to stop and why you went in a CB in the first place?).

    So if you want to truly hand over your cock & orgasms to your Wife, then do exactly that-there's no half way house! :Locker:
     
  18. lockednloaded
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    lockednloaded Senior Member

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    Because it's not the orgasm that you are craving , it's the lock up.....
     
  19. steph17
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    steph17 Junior Member

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    Well day 28 has arrived and at the moment I am still wearing the pa-5000. I have not and will not apply any pressure for release and will just see where it takes us. We had a talk last night and my KH told me she was quite pleased with the way things are going eg-centred on her pleasure and I explained how I was happy to please her even though I was having a difficult time trying to find out what pleasure I was getting from the situation. You see I am still worried at the thought of saying I am enjoying this as I feel that would then give complete control to my KH and I do know that is how it is supposed to be.
     
  20. bbasejobb
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    bbasejobb Junior Member

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    Well, I've read a lot about the KH restraining you or tying you down for your release. That way, you will have to keep to your word. Can be pretty fun that way too ;)
     
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