Chastity Task/suggestions for wife (to make it more interesting)

No one seems to follow this advice. My wife is a phenomenal Femdom! Why? Because, I explored every avenue of her fantasies while occasionally tellingly her about mine.

Take a break from chastity. Tell her thank you for her exploration. Then tell her it’s her turn and go find ou what she likes. After exploring a few to several of her fantasies then ask her if you can go back to exploring chastity. But don’t ever stop exploring her desires.

 

I have been self locking, my wife has told me she doesn’t like grabbing a cage, doesn’t like waiting for me to unlock. She does like deciding when/if and how I can masturbate/orgasm.

So, I lock it up once we have gone to sleep and unlock when she gets home.

I do all the above as mentioned, someone had asked me about my wife’s love language, maybe hers isn’t acts of service (which isn’t one of my wife’s top choices) but she likes that I do them.

it seems when I’m lock I tend to do more things for her, today I cleaned and put all her shoes back on shelves in the closet.

when I’m unlocked or cum, it seems the thoughts of meeting my wives needs are not as strong.

My hope is for her to control my access, so that my emotional and physical sexual pleasure is shared with her and not me jerking off in the shower.

It is a journey

 

The problem is that if she has the key, then she has to keep revisiting the lock/unlock decision. Among other things that creates emotional labour and must make it harder to relax into the benefits.

Instead, get a timer ksafe off Amazon and ask her to set a time up front.

 

If she’s ok if you wear a cage, then keep the key and only unlock when she wants to play, use your cock or allow you to Masturbate then she can decide if you cum or not.

just keep the focus on her and not about you. Don’t ask to unlock or masturbate Focus on her. Don’t be needy and clingy

Every relationship is different, so you got to figure what works for her I’m still working on that myself I wish my wife was ok with me wearing the cage around her

 

Wow, after reading other replies, I’ve been converted. Just keep doing chastity in whatever manner you can get away with until she recognizes the obvious benefits and locks you up for life. Hopefully, she will then cuckold you and explore her sexual needs with her bull and spend the rest of her life exploring all of her fantasies while keeping you locked up and ignored. Carry on.

 

Perhaps my solution would work for you: My Mistress/wife doesnt like the "overhead" of key/chastity management. So I also have an Online KH (not findom btw) who is very good at the chastity parts.

My Mistress/wife gets all the "physical" benefits .. .teasing/tormenting me directly while requiring my full attention/skills when she requires any sexual satisfaction.

My KH same time shares in teasing and tormenting me both physically (through tasks and punishments that my Mistress will ensure I carry out to completion with out violation) while dictating the terms of my chastity locking time and release .

Both my KH and Mistress set the rules/criteria for any orgasms when I do find myself (temporarily) free for any reason.

My KH and Mistress dont really converse but the do use me to get there point/message across with each other.

 

Your wife has fantasies? Lucky you lol

 

Time.......

The more you "play" this, the more she will notice the positives for her. I'm talking around the attentiveness to her. With this she will also notice the effects of an orgasm for you. These will more than likely lead to longer periods of lockup for you. As I would imagine that correlation will be much like other KH'ers as well as mine have noticed. Less orgasms for you lead to you being more attentive.

Give her control, set back and enjoy. "Be careful what you wish for." This "play" can change into a lifestyle. but again it takes time.

 

Also, there is this thread that may be of relevance to you?

https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/how-long-does-it-take.49407/

 

I never would have dated and certainly wouldn’t have married someone who didn’t. …and that being said it’s unbelievable how lucky I am!

 

@JasKing I wrote this thread a while back, but I hope it gives you some perspective in talking to your wife about this. It should give you some insight and maybe make you rethink everything.

https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/how-do-i-tell-my-wife.48102/

 

Just do what your wife tells you lol that's how it works, otherwise you are topping from the bottom

 

Nice!

 

spot on!

 

That perfectly describes me when hubby and I first started, except with orgasm denial rather than chastity. Massages and other gestures of love weren't the solution. In fact, they made it worse.

Everyone is different, and I don't know your wife at all. But for whatever it's worth, here's what helped me...

In my case, I was being "too nice" because I felt tremendous guilt about not giving hubby an orgasm. The nicer hubby was, the guiltier I felt. Even though he told me what he wanted, I had had years and years of conditioning (from society, not hubby) about what it meant to be a "good wife", etc. It takes time to shake that off.

Something that made a big difference to me was hubby thanked me every time I denied him. He told me how much he enjoyed the waiting and anticipation. How happy I was making him. I needed to hear that.

Eventually all of the "thank you's" sunk in. The guilt disappeared, and I felt good about saying "no". I started to enjoy being in control, and became more comfortable verbalizing my own desires. But none of that happened overnight.

Tread carefully when telling her she is being "too nice". That's a difficult line to walk without it sounding like a criticism, and being criticized when you feel you're already indulging your spouse is a hard pill to swallow. Instead, focus on the positive. For example, pick the times she's made you wait the longest, and talk about how much you enjoyed those experiences (perhaps with more emphasis on what you were feeling rather than the number of days). Find the words that make her feel good about her part in this.

Games (dice, spinners, marbles, whatever) are an interesting approach because they take the pressure off of the woman to make these decisions. For some, that can be very helpful. In my case, I kind of hated all the rules and complexity, and games never really clicked. But that's just me.

 

After (not) reading all the responses I’m with everyone else on this…

You should definitely throw a wobbler next time she makes you cum. Tell her that’s not how this works! That you bought a cage because you DO NOT want to be allowed to cum so easily, that frankly she’s an idiot if she doesn’t get that by now!

Ok, I’m being facetious… but does she actually know that? That you want her to control your orgasms and that you want them to be infrequent?

I’m lucky, my wife is naturally predisposed to want to control situations and (dare I say it) put her needs at the forefront of our relationship. It works for us… but even she had to overcome her sense of duty and a whole lot of guilt.
I naturally want to be controlled and and put others first. (This actually makes my job really hard as I’m a square peg in a round hole, but it pays the bills and then some). So I wanted her to accept that. At times, I had to show my disappointment in her getting it wrong, I also showed my appreciation when she got it right.

Now it’s all too normal for us. It fits.

it could be that you’re genuinely hammering that square peg into a round hole and she won’t ever be what you want. In that case, keep the games… but she’ll never live up to the fantasy. Otherwise, be honest. You’re not happy with how this is going. You don’t want your sex life to be a routine, or game, or trivial. You want her to come up with the games… you want a sexy task master.

 

My wife struggled with trying to make a decision when to give me a release. We settled on a simple dice game without a lot of rules that decides the number of weeks I remain caged. It can be anywhere from one to 12 weeks but is heavily weighted on the lower end of the spectrum and the average is a three week lockup. My wife likes that because she doesn't have to make any decisions and she can easily say no if I beg for an early release. She also knows she can change the rules if she decides.

 

It’s complicated, I used my capture in the cage as a Signal to her that I was now there to serve her so I picked up on all the chores that I could do laundry dishes dinner breakfast and work to cater to her personal needs as much as possible to include a waiting foot massage for her every morning I love her feet anyway so it’s my pleasure and she seem to like it too when the cage was off after an orgasm I had a noticeable drop in my attentiveness which she noticed as well getting me back was some thing we both agreed was needed, seeing this helped to get her on the same page with the Chasity cage working in both our favor because it is a win-win situation.