Be careful what you wish for

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Chastity2024, May 27, 2024.

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  1. Chastity2024
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    Chastity2024 Long term member

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    How often to you think back to your first time locked and compare it to where you are now? I often think to myself how the hell did I get here. Yes I have only been locked 24/7 going on 6 weeks with 4 Os in almost 40 days but at the start of it I couldn’t imagine where I would be today. I couldn’t imagine how my wife talks to me in a teasing way. The things she says literally blow my mind. Sometime I don’t know how to respond to her when she’s says them. I didn’t think years ago this sex toy fetish would turn into a lifestyle that has started to change my life. When I read post like does it hurt or why do you do it or what’s the worst part I laugh. To me there’s no worst part yet and it doesn’t hurt with the right cage. I would say the most frustrating parts are ruined erections and morning wood and not being denied longer yet. I sometimes wake up in the night and wonder if I’ll ever not wear a cage again. That’s where the Be Careful What You Wish For comes in a lot of things I wanted or wished for have come to fruition. I have to make sure I don’t wish too hard or I may be living out a real fantasy. Have you wished for something and then later on you wished you hadn’t?
     
  2. Chili-boy
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    We are back on track after a little break and Miss told me last night I wont orgasm again. She doesn't see the point as it affects how I behave. I am happy to submit to this. Just about 40 days in with zero release for me. Aiming to break my record of 105 days and beyond. We'll see
     
  3. Chastity2024
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    Chastity2024 Long term member

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    My KH likes when I orgasm otherwise I maybe in the same boat as you. She makes threats that if I do X she will keep me locked longer. I don’t want to do X.
     
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  4. Echo321
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    When we started it was kind of like a sex toy used for foreplay. When I was locked it wasn’t for long (couple hours, maybe a day) and there was an orgasm waiting on the other end. It slowly got longer and longer and the orgasms fewer and fewer. Before I knew it I was in a custom cage and locked full time. I think the gradual progression made it harder to notice in the moment but comparing then to now… holy shit.
     
  5. Rider9
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    Rider9 Locked4her

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    It was the same path for us. Words like "be careful what you wish for" are really in place here. But while I agree our lifestyle came to a place I could never dream about (and I can have wild dreams) I would probably make same decisions and chose same lifestyle if I could go back.
     
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  6. atxmtb
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    atxmtb Long term member

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    Yes, almost regardless of what you thought starting out, the path leads in a different direction. Honestly, I didn't think it would last as long as it has, and I never imagined it would result it what it has. It was supposed to be six months. It's now indefinite after 9 months. It was intended to be service oriented, which it has been, but has resulted in semen retention (aka. orgasm denial). The last part resulted from a realization that I am better as service if I avoid my own orgasms.

    There are discussions on this site of permanence which has devolved into debates on the definition of the word. The word permanence makes sense because the path is one-way. Now that we're here, there's no going back. I never expected that, but I'm happy with where we are at.
     
  7. OrdinaryGuy
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    I try, but don't relate to the phrase. I acknowledge that I might be in a different boat because my wife pushed me into this. But for you all who wanted a taste and got more than you could chew, I see it only one of 3 ways...

    1. You exceeded your comfort level, told your wife (who wasn't originally on board anyway), and reverted back to a comfortable place. BCWYWF won't apply here.

    2. Find yourself liking it more than you thought you would. Although you live with more frustration than you planned, you get more benefit than you ever thought. So when you weigh your circumstance, you prefer it this way. And you keep it going. That's a good thing I think and as such, there isn't really a negative connotation to BCWYWF. It's just a fun saying that means you'll like getting deeper into the lifestyle more than you expected. (This is closest to my experience, but with differences).

    3. You desperately want a little challenge. Your wife gave you much more than you can handle. She threatened: take more of what you aren't liking or get none of what you do want. This manipulation, to me, but is the pureest form of BCWYWF, and I personally think it is the most one-sided approach in the lot. It's a warning that you are fundementally changing your relationship in unpredictable ways.
     
  8. denied_one
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    Oh there is a number 4

    Those who find the idea of chastity alluring and cajole their partners into doing it. Only to find out that the experience was sort of like the aforementioned "more than one can chew", and the individual finds that the idea was much hotter as hot pillow talk or as merely a fantasy only, and likely would "go back to normal" or as some have coined it here "call it quits"

    Sadly for that person their spouse has absolutely not only taken with the idea but fallen in love with it and wants to do nothing else....

    Certainly BCWYWF
     
  9. OrdinaryGuy
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    I really would hope that would eventually find it's way back to #1. But your right, you run the risk of opening Pandora's box.
     
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  10. Chastity2024
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    Chastity2024 Long term member

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    I definitely think I fall into the number two option.
     
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  12. Chili-boy
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    It’s my birthday today. I have been told my gift is an orgasm free lifestyle from today. Cage will not be coming off unless supervised and Miss has told me this is the best present I could wish for
     
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  13. atxmtb
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    There are worse things. I'm not that far in, but the pace of orgasms has definitely decreased significantly. And the fewer I have, and the longer time between, the closer and stronger my wife and my relationship becomes. It can work. I think the biggest thing that contributes is that since I'm still horny, but probably won't be orgasming, I use that horniness to focus on her. She gets more pleasure which makes her happy and in turn makes me happy. And I'm still getting sex. In fact, more of it. Such a simple change (actually not simple, or easy at all) can have a big impact.
     
  14. Siro
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    Happy Birthday
     
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  15. Alphasub6988
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    We are only 6 months in. But it’s night and day. She’s far more playful and enjoys the teasing of the cage. She loves the additional pampering and being the head of the house with our FLR. It really just started because one fine evening I had some drinks and confesses a bunch of fantasies and desires. She was extremely hesitant but a few conversations later we ordered a cage. Had an awkward weekend. Now I go weeks at a time and she uses it to her advantage for sure. No regrets (yet)
     
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  16. Elfman
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    Elfman Gay werewolves & martinis

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    Currently riding the wave of regret.
     
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    do tell
     
  18. denied_one
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    I ride the wave of regret every other day :yikes:
     
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  19. Elfman
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    Elfman Gay werewolves & martinis

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    I want out, lol.
     
  20. Queens servant73
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    It’s definitely mind boggling to see how different our sex lives are now compared to five years ago when I bought a cage for us to try out. I figured it would end up a passing fad after a couple weekends or something and end up in the sex toy bin to collect dust. This year I’m on pace to maybe have 10 full orgasms and maybe same amount of ruins, pre cage sex life, I’d average somewhere around 7-10 piv orgasms per week lol. My Wife still cums on average 30 times a month, so at least I’m getting “sex” regularly :) it just rarely involves my penis at all.
    It’s just very different for me now, but as she’s become more strict, I’m finding that I’m enjoying this as a lifestyle so much more.
    So I’d say I’m more than ok with what I wished for and have received in real life
     
  21. silvercuck33
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    Great for you and happy birthday
     
  22. AZCageGuy
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    This is a great thread and speaks to a fear/hope of mine as my woman and I start this journey. Already talk of her locking me up on our honeymoon (her idea) and her confiding to her friends that I’m locked and she holds the key (my idea). It’s all talk for the time being, but I don’t know what will happen when she locks me for the first time—I’m still trying to find the right gear; most recent cage and ring are being delivered next week. I think she’ll love the power it gives her, plus the assurance I won’t cheat, because she’s had that happen in past relationships. And I just know that if she wants it to be a major part of our relationship that I’ll totally give in to her wishes. Looking forward to seeing where this goes
     
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  23. denied_one
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    denied_one Long term member

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    Once She gets a taste, She will want it to be a cornerstone of your relationship and marriage. Congrats and best wishes and God Bless you both!
     
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  24. AZCageGuy
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    Thanks! If that’s how it goes, I’ll be more than happy
     
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  25. denied_one
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    @Mr_anonymous told another poster today that it's clear the poster's Wife wants him caged by default with Her in firm control.

    I asked my Wife the same thing. If, for the duration of our lives together, does She want me caged by default, and She with firm control of it.

    Her reply...Oh Yes!!

    That's what will likely happen to you if She takes to it.
     
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