Hello all. I'm coming back to this site after a very long break from chastity, during which I took a long hard look at why I am so obsessed with the idea of orgasm control by my wife. (was formerly sissyetmissycocu but had to change my email for reasons best not discussed in public.) I think I may be more serious this time around but I find myself easily discouraged considering the vast amount of vilification there is of any form of sexuality that is remotely male-oriented, especially in my neck of the woods (the Bay Area). Partially that and the fact that I had to learn to accept my sexuality as something nonshameful. I returned to male chastity after thinking of the following questions. Why do I want to be locked up? I am a pervert. A severe pervert. When I am not locked up I am prone to bouts of severe chronic masturbation, male gazing, deviant thoughts, and other such forms of distraction. Chastity allows not only the chance to save my sexual energies for my wife and family but allows to sit with my thought long enough to analyze them, to dig deeper and find new and more exciting forms of perversion. Before I believed it was a cure for my perversion, no such cure exists, now chastity exists in my mind as a means of refinement of my perversion. Digging deeper and deeper, all the while learning that in order to love myself in the most whole sense that I must learn to accept my sexuality as part of that whole and assign it space in my mind. What do I do when my wife goes through her occasional disinterest in chastity? From time to time, my wife gets tired from the work of being my dominant. As her submissive I can understand that some days one wishes to relinquish control and take a break. To renew her creative and dominant energies for the next round of control. The obvious problem is when she lets go of control, I can't control myself. I will spend endless hours reading captions of increasing depravity and drain my fluids and then leave my wife unfulfilled due to the drainage. What do I get out of the experience? I gain a sense of self control. I can think more clearly. I have more energy for my wife's wants and thus an overall happier household. Sexually I needed to look at my chastity from another angle, perhaps a more selfish one. I did an experiment. I locked myself on my own and went to work. Without the D/s dynamic, I felt a different kind of rush. The risk of being caught. The idea of being caught in some inappropriate place adjusting or a strange bulge being noticed by some unknown authority figure. Images of being thrown in a jail cell with the inmates having full knowledge of my encasement. Or a room full of respected colleagues humiliating me for my work place transgressions. (far-fetched I know, but exciting nonetheless). In short, when confined my imagination goes into overdrive. Is self-training defeating to my ultimate goals? Given the information above, no. What am I looking for on Chastity Mansion? Support mainly. Someone to help keep me on track when I must rely on myself to keep myself locked. A friend. A friend I can confide in about such a delicate part of my life I could, most likely, confide in about anything. Possibly over coffee or tea. I look forward to adding more content and challenging myself to longer and longer stretches. Looking forward to hearing from yous guyses. Plus thinking about sex helps keeps my mind off of stressful stuff like politics.
Sounds like you've thought a lot about why you are into all this. I disagree about male sexuality being vilified in the Bay Area, though. You (and your wife?) might want to start attending the Chastity Social at Wicked Grounds. We meet on the 4th Thursday of every other month for this kind of self-reflective sharing, conversation and support.
That sounds great. We won't be available this month cause I just got a promotion (WIN) and I'm swamped at work