Hello all, I am very new to this site and to the lifestyle. I stumbled onto this site (thankfully) while doing some research for my wife/keyholder. Things have been amazing, frustrating and suprisingly arousing. My wife and I were playing with denial and "get her off at least a few times" before I came and somehow I ended up with a CB6000 that I am now wearing constantly (unless she allows a release). Everything is perfect as far as she is concerned, I on the other hand... well it has been an arousing and not surprisingly maddening two months. As of writing this I have been locked for 60 days as of today with the last time she allowed me to climax being only 5 days ago (she is keeping track of the record, (well I am too) of 21 days). I am totally onboard and she knows she is now in control, my only gripe is that she is still too nice (for lack of a better word). We currently have a game based on points where I have to get to the magic number before I am allowed a sexual release, of course I do not know what that number is or if it is just made up when she is ready.... I may never know. Anyway, feel free to message me to imbue me with some noobie advice or ask me a question. Kept for SBT's arousal And, she just read this post before I could submit it, I think the "too nice" thing may have gotten me in over my head.
Welcome! And best of luck to you both. It is amazing how, at least in my case, we stumble into this lifestyle, and something just clicks. I know EXACTLY what you mean by your wife being too nice. I have the same problem. It's almost like their comfort level has to be very intense for them to be "mean" how we would like them to be. Honestly the only time i can really be sure to be "abused" like i need to be is when my wife is totally turned on. Other then that, she tries, and for now, the effort is enough means a lot to me. The was I see it, they are overcoming a lifetime of social conditioning, and I imagine it is very difficult.
I do hope both of you understand the full meaning of "be careful what you wish for". In 6 months time you could well be longing for too nice! Rita
Thanks for the posts! Now I just need someone to talk my wife into taking the upper hand I have given her and give her some good ideas, I think the ideas I give her are never used because she always wants to keep me guessing. Also I think there is a matter of pride in not taking suggestions from me. So yeah, some ideas from someone else right to her would be awesome. Maybe if I begged her to join this site she could find the guidance I am hoping for.
Ask her politely if She would be interested in joining this site. I would be happy to give her some advice, though I doubt whether you would, but perhaps you might.
Thanks Mistress B, she gladly signed up last night. I have to say CM is proving to be full of awesome people!
How about a "guest star" in a scene? Is she comfortable being co-top with another woman? She honestly might be afraid of hurting you... and might have no idea what you can actually take. Make a game out of it? Attend some classes or maybe watch some videos? If you're both getting started, then she has no idea how deep the rabbit hole goes. Making it a game or allowing her to take the lead might make it more fun for her. Tread delicately and don't demean her blossoming dominance by saying she "isn't mean enough" to her face. Find a way to say it sexily, like "I think I can take even more for you because you inspire me so much! Let's take it even further this time!"