OK so i am not sure this is the right place to post this however here it goes. Life has really become a struggle, i am generally moody and often difficult. I know my wife is growing increasingly frustrated with me. Yesterday, we had a small argument before I went to play golf, upon my return we picked up where we left off. As i was prepping dinner, i made a snarky comment. Her response was to slap my ass very hard. I responded with "HEY THAT HURT ALOT." Her Response: "Good it was supposed to, quit being an ass." I was caught completely off guard. Nothing more occurred. Last night i ended up having a very graphic dream in which she: Presented me a pair of her panties, Instructed me to wait in the corner of our bedroom until she returned. Came in and told me she was very tired of my behavior and told me to get over her lap. Spanked me over the panties. after sufficient warm up i my panties were pulled down and she used a hairbrush on my bottom. after tears were shed i was instructed to stand and she pulled my panties up and instructed me to stand in the corner again. She came back and asked me if i was ready to behave, i meekly nodded, she informed me that after any spanking i would thank her by kneeling and kiss her over her panties and thank her for correcting me. I was told this would be a weekly occurrence until my attitude improved and on punishment night i was not going to get to orgasm as she doesn't want me confusing punishment with sex. I was then told that i would be servicing her to an orgasm then it was bed time. I know there is a lot in there about the dream, I am not sure what it all means. I will tell you that i am considering sharing this with her anecdotally. Does anyone think that is a good idea? Advice would be very helpful I am nervous as we lead a pretty vanilla life.
What sort of relationship do you have with her now? Are you already submissive, is she domme? Is BDSM / impact play already in your repertoire? If completely vanilla now, going to full on FLR could be quite the leap. You also go on about being a bit moody / difficult. Can you mentally get to the position of being subservient? By your own admission, you can be moody and difficult, you need to sort that before anything else will work, why are you that way, work pressure, general life etc. Once you know the source of your demeanor, you can then work on it. The old "I had a dream about xyz and it intrigued me" can be a good approach, but depending on the existing dynamic between you, going to full on pantie wearing sub could be too much information at once. You could also introduce it along the lines of "The other day when we had an argument and you slapped my ass as a means of discipline, it must have triggered something, as that night I had a dream about it" and start to include some details about the spanking with hairbrush, orgasm denial and servicing her, that sort of thing.
I think id just tell her that you found her spanking your ass kinda hot and you think she should do it again if your been an ass. If she seems receptive you can push a bit more. Ask her to spank your ass during foreplay. Dont bombard her with elaborate fantasys right off the bat if she reacts negatively it might cause more issues.
Like Mr loch ed said: Don't push her, you will have to take your time if you are really ready for this lifestyle . If you are it's sounds to me that will have to learn a lot . Being a ass, for example is a Big no-no.
Yes, don't tell her so much about all the graphic details of your dream, but do tell her your feelings and reaction that you had from her smacking your ass. Of course mention that it caused you to have an erotic dream, but let her tease the details from you, it'll give her a sense of power if she extracts the dream from you in a confession. It'll be a boost for her both in her causing the dream and getting you to admit your most intimate thoughts. Of course, only if she's inclined to do it, let her develop her dominance in her own way.
So i did that the other night and just as you said.. she coaxed the details out of me.... It may have been the hardest conversation i have ever had... and her response was interesting.
I agree. Here are a few thoughts 1) Don't be an ass. It is 100% the wrong way to introduce kink. 2) Think about how that butt smack made you feel and tell her about that if you are comfortable Sharing your feelings. I'd leave off the arousal side and ask yourself what caught you off guard. 3) Apologize. Tell her that you were sorry about being an ass. That you appreciated her wake up moment that helped you realize that. (This next part is IMPORTANT.) Then ask her how you can make it up to her. 4) Listen to what she wants. Listen a lot this next week. She might not tell you when you are expecting her to do so. She will expect you to remember what she has told you she wanted though.
So it has been a pretty quiet week. As suggested I haven't pushed. She made a passing comment about coloring my bottom, but it was quick and flippant, then nothing. I am really trying to be good and not push.
How did you respond to her comment? Sometimes it's hard to know what to say in the moment, but reflecting on it makes it easier to have an appropriately supportive response for the next time.
I got tongue tied and wasn't sure i even heard her right so i just let it slide as we were getting ready to go out.
It has happened to us all. Keep giving her the feedback she wants/needs and you will get more opportunities.
Just be ready at next opportunity to give her encouragement to push more. I imagine she is open to it, especially if she thinks you'll stop the irritating behaviors.