2020/08/26 A year ago I wrote a little about our start into a Female Led Marriage and a managed life for me. Sometime earlier this year I got a slightly shorter metal cage (it’s actually quite small) that' is incredibly comfortable. I don’t experience any discomfort, pinching, swelling, etc. It’s almost scary how comfortable it is. I’ve been wearing it 24/7 ever since I got it. Exercise, workouts, sitting and typing, whatever. It only comes off so I can clean after workouts or when my wife wants to use my penis for her pleasure. Our relationship has evolved. My wife has become much more comfortable deciding how, when, and if we have sex. This is what the kinky part of our life is like now: A while back I decided to surprise her. While she was taking a shower before bed I prepared myself. I was waiting for her when she came back into the bedroom: blindfold, hands cuffed behind my back, ankles cuffed together, collar, leash, kneeling next to her side of the bed. She was amused, but happy. She asked if I was her slave now. I answered, of course. She then had me massage, lick, and nibble her to multiple orgasms. Since then she expects me to blindfolded, waiting for her, either kneeling at the side of the bed or in bed. She has complained in the past that I woke her at night when I snored. I asked if she wanted me to only sleep on my side so I wouldn’t snore. She said “Of course.”. So now I use the cuffs, straps, and a bar a few feet long to force me to remain on my side in a semi-fetal position and can’t roll onto my back. I asked her a bit ago if she liked it when I was blindfolded and if I should always be blindfolded in the bedroom. She told me that she really liked that and yes that should be the new normal of me. I compiled a large list of how other couples deal with a FLM and chastity. I did this because my wife is busy most of the day, she doesn’t want to be bothered looking stuff up, reading, etc. I took the opportunity to do this for her, to unburden her of the work. The list I created had everything from types of punishments, release schedules, rules, games, and lots of random other stuff. We looked over the list and she decided that I should refer to her as Mistress from now on when we’re in private. We talked about punishments for me. Sleeping on a small pad on the floor chained to the foot of the bed. Sleeping on the floor of a closet. Spanking, corner time, extensions of periods of chastity, etc. She was interested in spanking. She tried using her hand, that didn’t work she said it hurt her. We’ll probably try some belts I have and I might make or buy some other implements. I told her a few weeks ago that just about anything she decided for us and sex I was ok doing. If she said I had to suck some guy’s cock I would. If she wanted me to give another woman pleasure in any way I would. If she wanted me to get fucked by some guy I would. If she decided to have sex with somebody else that was her decision too. It’s all her decision and I’m ok with whatever she wants because I want her to be happy. I told her that there were quite a number of women whose husbands were kept in chastity cages but the women had sex with other men. Either because they didn’t like the way the husband performed, the husband couldn’t perform, or because they just wanted to try somebody else, and probably lots of other reasons. It was a long talk… She doesn’t separate love from sex well but she understands my motivation and devotion to her and doing what will give her pleasure. I don’t have any idea if anything like that would ever happen but I wanted her to know that she had the option and I was ok with her decision whatever it would be. A few months back I showed her a silicone dildo that I got for us. She told me it was way too big for her so I should use it. I knelt on the bed, on the dildo, rocking up and down while she gave me a hand job. I didn’t last more than a minute or two. It was wild. After that I bought a larger one, 2 inches across, 8 inches of it is insertable. It’s big and heavy made of soft silicone outer with a siffer core, veiny, very life-like (if you’re a giant). A couple of days ago she told me that I had been a good boy and deserved a reward. She told me to use the large dildo, while caged. I had tried it in the shower a few times just to see if it’d fit. It’s big, it takes a bit to get used to it. I have to ease on to it. But, man is it big. I can’t get it all in, only about 6 ½ inches. I got on it. She used the Hitachi Wand to vibrate the cage and the dildo while I was trying to move on it for a while. I didn’t get to orgasm, but wow, it was fun. After we got done I asked her if I wasn’t getting to orgasm until I could do it on that dildo. I heard her (I was still blindfolded) smirk, “YES!”. Ok, so wow! I don’t know how long it’ll take. She might have decided that I’m anal only from now on. I was afraid to ask. Once this month she unlocked me so she could ride me cowgirl and orgasm a couple of times. I wasn’t allowed to orgasm. But hey, I’m all for it if she’s having fun. There isn’t a schedule for when I get sex of any kind. It’s totally at her whim. She’s also making it longer and longer between the times I’ve been allowed to orgasm. Right now I haven’t cum in 25 days and it doesn’t look like that’ll change anytime soon. Any sex for me of any kind seems to happen on the weekends only. Very occasionally I help her prepare for bed by washing her in the shower. I kneel and keep my eyes closed, wash, and rinse her then go to the bedroom to wait for her. Because I’m blindfolded and waiting for her at night I’ve only seen her naked 3 times in the past few months. I told her that and she said “That’s fine.”. (Wow). I think she thinks her body isn’t all that great or something and is more comfortable because I can’t see her. She’s becoming much more comfortable using me for sex without any reciprocity. Some days she’ll have me give her 10+ orgasms with my hands or with my mouth. Some days she has me just rub her breasts while she uses the Hitachi Wand for one orgasm. Some days she just wants to go to sleep. Another routine is every night I rub her back while she’s going to sleep until she’s asleep before I tie myself in my sleeping position. My duties are expanding. What she expects from me on a daily basis as part of our daily routine is expanding. BTW: I haven’t written before because I’m not sure anybody cares about the details of what we do or how our relationship has changed. (As this proves I *can* write a lot, I’m talky!) TLDR: I call her Mistress. I pleasure her with my hands, mouth, the Hitachi Wand, and very rarely my penis. I sleep blindfolded, cuffed, and bound so she gets a better night’s rest. I rarely get to orgasm. I never get uncaged unless she wants to use my penis for sex. I almost never get to see my wife naked. My penis is apparently becoming irrelevant to our sex life. I’m horny all the time. My wife is becoming more comfortable with our new status as Domme/slave. My formerly very vanilla wife is getting sort of kinky. It’s fun! It's scary when I think of what could be the future and how we'll deal with it. But, we're on the way now.
My new cage looks like this: https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51s7LyPzutL._AC_SL1001_.jpg
Really enjoyed the read. My wife is very, very vanilla. I'm extremly reluctant to share with her my chastity desires but your experience has offered some slight encouragement that i could.
Talk to her. My wife was reluctant at first. She asked me all the time "Are you crazy?", "Why are you so weird?", etc. She said she wasn't interested, she thought it was strange. Now though... she's on board 100 percent with me being locked and her deciding what we do for sex. It's taken a year but I can't imagine her changing her mind and reverting to what we were before. My wife told me the other day that I spoil her and she's so happy because of all this.
I enjoyed hearing about your lifestyle. One of the most enjoyable things about this website is seeing how different people approach chastity.
One thing I left out. Last November, or so, my wife told me that I wasn't allowed to play with my cock at all. So for months the only time I touched it was about a minute a day, or less, when I showered, and it was soft. On July 27th of this year she wanted me to masturbate while she watched. I was shackled to the bed, had my wrists cuffed together, and was of course blindfolded. But she had me remove the cage and go to it while laying flat on my back. That was the fist time I had touched my penis when it was hard in about 8 months. I started going at it. It was so strange, it was like I didn't know what to do anymore. I guess I was out of practice. I heard her pick up her phone from the nightstand on her side of the bed. I asked her if she was taking photos. She sort of laughed and said "Maybe.". I came pretty fast. Got up, cleaned up, and then she had me get caged again. I asked her the next day if she took any photos or video of me masturbating. She sort of laughed and then said "Of course not. What if somebody ever saw them?", then she told me to go make dinner.
In late July I started keeping a log of our sexual activity just because I was curious about out ratio of orgasms, the kind of activity, the frequency of sex we were having, and I'm just a geek and wanted to track the data. Day to day life gets in the way of trying to remember the details. So, since July 25: On July 25 my wife told me I had to give her 20 orgasms before I was allowed to orgasm again. I gave her 20 in two days. The day after that is when she let me masturbate while cuffed and shackled. Since July 25 she's had at least 51 orgasms that I know of. If I as her about the number of times she came she'll often tell me "4 or 5" or something like that because apparently they happen fast and often and she can't keep track. So her numbers are a little vague. I've had 2 orgasms and one ruined orgasm. One of them is a dumb bet I won and my winnings was a hand job from her. The ruined orgasm was after I had used my hands to bring her to a couple of orgasms and then PIV with a couple of times. She had me kneel beside the bed still all cuffed, shackled, and blindfolded while she gave me a hand job where I sort of orgasmed and spasmed, but didn't actually ejaculate. It was very frustrating, but it's better than nothing, right? Because she told me my next orgasm wouldn't happen until I could do it riding that big dildo I don't know when I'll cum again.
While I was cooking dinner I showed my wife my spreadsheet of sex and told her the numbers and ratio of orgasms. She smiled really big and said "You like that ratio?". I told her no, what I like was *why* that ratio is the way it is. We've talked before about why I wanted to be caged. It's because I enjoy the lack of control, lack of power. I like it when I'm told what to do and have to perform. The control is the thing more than what I'm told to do. The added stimulation of giving her lots of pleasure while seemingly receiving none is itself fun for me. I told her it didn't matter if the ratio was 50:1, 1:1 or 10000:1. That it was her decision was the fun thing. So then I said "So I don't get to cum until I can do it riding that dildo, right?". She smiled really big, sort of laughed and said "Uh huh!". Wow, ok! I wasn't sure when I asked her before if she was serious. I guess she is. My formerly vanilla wife has changed so much.
I'm currently trying to lose a few pounds. 3-4 weeks ago weighed myself and decided I needed to lose 17 pounds and do it by the end of the year. My wife told me if I did I'd get a nice reward. YAY! I've already lost about 6 pounds. Sometime last week we were in bed late at night and my wife was fondling me (while caged) and asked me if I could go a year caged. (/gulp!) I told her it was her decision but I'm sure I could. [Minus the usual limited time out for doctors appointments, ~1 minute a day out for cleaning, any airport security checks, etc. The normal things.] I don't know what she has planned, if anything. For all I know her "reward" will be to lock me up for a year without any penile stimulation! She really wouldn't do that, would she?
An update... A week ago I was once again kneeling beside the bed shackled and blindfolded giving my wife a massage and some orgasms by hand. She told me that I had been a particularly good hubby recently and I deserved a reward. My mind went wild! She handed me the key to my cage and told me to take it off. Yes! She proceeded to pour some lube on my penis and give me a hand job. Wow! I'd never cum so fast in my life. I think I lasted all of 45 seconds. One night she had me on all fours on the bed, still caged, and was using the Hitachi Wand on my ass hole and perineum. I think she was having fun listening to me moan and groan. She rubbed her fingers all over me too. She didn't rub the Hitachi or her hand on my cage or penis at all. She did that for about 15 minutes. That was incredibly fun, I didn't orgasm but man it felt nice. A couple of days ago the little dog tag we ordered came in. On one side it says "Little Slave" on the other it says "Obedient Loyal". Now I wear it on my cage attached near the lock. It's actually really cool that now I'm wearing a tag with her pet name for me. Last night after I licked her to 4 or 5 orgasms she told me she was thinking about PIV sex. Then she asked me how long it had been since I had an orgasm. I took off my blindfold, looked at the spreadsheet on my phone and told her it had been 7 days and put my blindfold back on. Her response, "Ok". Then she rolled over and went to sleep. I think she's working up to using a dildo on me. A year ago she thought the idea was strange. I'm betting that in the near future I'll be impaled and (hopefully) orgasming on large diameter silicone. Photo of cage and tag: https://www.chastitymansion.com/for...99765038-6fb285e3bc11398c982bdd24fab89824.jpg
Well I was sort of right... Friday the (Sept 11) my wife said she wanted orgasms by my hands, the Hitachi, and by mouth. My wife had me pleasure her to a couple of orgasms by hand and a couple more using the Hitachi then had me stop. I asked her "Is it licking time now???". She said she didn't want any more sex but wanted to see me come on the big dildo. "Ok" I said. I got it out and asked her if she wanted me uncaged or to stay caged. "Stay locked up". "Ok" I said. <Gulp!> I got down on all fours and reached back and and get it in. it took a few minutes to get it started. Dang, that thing is filling! I worked it back and forth for a while while my wife occasionally rubbed at my bottom and penis (through the bars of the cage). Now, I really liked it. But I didn't even get close to an orgasm. After about 12-15 minutes she told me that was enough, she was tired and wanted to go to sleep. I never even got it all the way in. So I cleaned everything, and me, up and we went to sleep. Last night I asked her what she preferred my penis, my hands, mouth, or the Hitachi. She told me it differed day to day. I asked her why she never tried one of the two dildos I got for us. She asked me "Won't you get jealous if I like it more than you?" [Ah, so sh'e afraid I'll get jealous and resentful if she uses a plastic dick!] "No, I don't get upset when you want to use the Hitachi." I told her that it takes a while for her to orgasm when we have PIV sex. She said yeah. But, I said, you orgasm faster with the Hitachi. I don't get upset about that. I told her that with my mouth I can get her to orgasm the first time in about 2 minutes. and after that it only takes about 45-60 seconds for any other orgasms. I don't get mad at that. I told her that I wanted her to have lots of pleasure, lots of orgasms, to try lots of things. Some may work out, some may not. My wife asked me "What kind of sex do you prefer?" I said, "Oh that's easy! I'd prefer to push your knees up next to your ears and fuck you so hard and long you walked bow-legged for a week!". "Uhh, ok, hmmm.." she said. My wife asked me "What if I like using the dildo more than you? What if I want it more than you in me?" I told her that a lot of women prefer a penis that is a different size and shape than the one that comes default on their partner. That doesn't mean they love your partner any less. "You like the Hitachi, you like when I lick you, you like when I use my hands. We rarely have PIV sex anymore. Do you love me any less?" "Well, no." she said. "See!, just because I'm not banging you every day like a barn door in a hurricane it doesn't mean we're not a loving couple." "Hmmm..." she said. I told her that the deal we made was she go to decide what, how, when, and where I have sex. Whether or not I get to orgasm was also her decision. I reminded her that I am rarely getting to orgasm these days and am happy with our sex life. I told her that I don't think there is any sexual situation she could think of or propose for her/me/us that I'd refuse. It's fun, it's adventurous, it's cool not knowing what will happen or when, like a roller coaster ride you've never been on. I could see the wheels turning in her head (While I was wearing a blindfold!) I thought I'd let her think about that. So I told her that if she really wanted to see me cum on that big dildo I needed to practice with it. I needed to get used to the size and stretch some, like yoga. Get used to the size, become more familiar with the feelings and sort of re-wire my brain to expect that as the physical stimulation for sex. I asked if I could practice with it when I took a shower. Not to orgasm but to just stretch out and be physically ready for using it whenever she wanted me to actually cum with it. She agreed that seemed ok. "Practice with it in the shower then." she said. Wow! So I don't know what the future might hold. But I have some ideas. She's very sweet. She really loves me and is worried I might stop loving her. Not A Chance.
So, I'm sitting at my desk, in my room upstairs messing around online in a private dad group, hobby forums, listening to podcasts, the normal stuff during the day. I open and close tabs pretty fast. I'm a former developer who worked in VIM (among other environments) and can keyboard-drive at high speed just about everything. As my wife comes into the room I'm ctrl-W'ing (to close) a bunch of browser tabs and windows that I no longer need up. She asks "What are you hiding???". I, of course, tell her nothing I was just closing a bunch of unneeded tabs. "Sure..." she says. We then talk over the things she needed to tell me before she went back to her computer and back to work. So later as we're preparing supper I told her "What would I have to hide? You already know that I like being in a female-led, orgasm controlled relationship. I like being physically restrained. I like it when there's something big in my butt, I admitted I'd suck cock for you, and even get fucked by some guy if you wanted. What could I possibly be hiding?" Some women. Sheesh...
So the other night after I gave my wife a few orgasms by hand and with the Hitachi she said I could use the Hitachi on myself while I was still kneeling beside the bed (still shackled and blindfolded, of course). I used it for a few minutes then she said it was time to go to sleep before I could orgasm. Dang! A couple of nights later we were in bed and she said she wasn't sleepy. I told her that she just needed to orgasm. So I handed her the Hitachi and she used it herself. For the first time! I had always wielded it for her before this. She came 3 times in a few minutes while I was lying beside her then said "Here, use this if you want to cum.". YES! She's never masturbated in front of me before. Maybe it helped that I was blindfolded and couldn't actually watch. The other night I was kneeling beside the bed when she came into the bedroom from having a shower and she asked me about a rash on her leg. Of course I said "I can't see it." She lifted my blindfold, we discussed the rash then she smiled, and gently pulled the blindfold back down. The last thing I saw was her cute, happy smile as she put me back in the dark. So I took it and, still cuffed, bound, and blindfolded, and still caged, held it against my cage until I came. I came so hard I nearly passed out. Holy cow! That thing is awesome! We both crashed and slept like the dead. The next morning she used the Hitachi AGAIN and came 3 more times while I was kissing her breasts. Then she handed me the Hitachi and said "Here, you use it.". I tried for a while. To no avail. Dang it. So she let me orgasm but it was still caged. She doesn't seem to concerned if I get out of my cage or not. [Aside: She really likes me blindfolded. I think it makes her more uninhibited. I'm all for that! The only bad thing is I rarely get to see her naked anymore. More control for her. I occasionally see her naked in the shower, probably one time a week. I generally get ready for bed before her and get up before she does in the morning. In the evening I'm blindfolded, in the morning I get up first and make coffee. There's no way I'm going to pull off her blanket and wake her up early. ] I asked her the other night what she likes about having me caged. She said that she likes that I'm more controllable when I'm caged. CONTROLLABLE: "Capable of being safely regulated or limited." Controllable, that pretty much defines my sex life this past year and the future as far as I can tell. My wife, hasn't told me if she has any real plans or goals for our sex life and the nature of our evolving FLR/FLM because she might not know yet. But, it looks like I'll be on a fairly restricted release and orgasm "schedule" even if there isn't a pre-determined schedule. God I love this woman. My love. My Mistress.