I call it play, some call it a scene… I’m not talking necessarily about being released to cum but how often do you and your KH fool around? Whether that be spanking or licking or crawling for her amusement etc. I suspect everyone has different frequencies and it would be interesting to hear the differences with family, work and other life responsibilities how often people get to indulge their D/s play
About once a week for full on session. That’s been our basic schedule for years now, predating chastity. We have a little get away trip coming up, so that will last three days.
In a good week, 3-4 times, mostly at night as she's falling asleep. And honest-to-goodness fucking maybe 2-3 times a week. In a bad week, 0 times. And no fucking. In an average week, maybe 2 times. And fucking once.
Sorry, Mistress Nadia and I do not play. We live a relationship Mistress/Cuckoldress & slave/cuckold in chastity 24/7.
Well, the answer for us is that it all depends upon my Lovely Goddess and Keyholding Wife. But here's how it typically might break down. Most nights we watch some TV while we're in bed, usually sipping on some adult beverages to wind down after the day. 95% of the time I'm massaging Her during the entire time we're watching, which could be anywhere from a 1/2 hour to 2+ hours. Sometimes it also includes some kissing and licking of Her intimate areas, if She is in the mood. Then, if She wants some additional play, She will usually begin teasing me. This usually gets Her further aroused and most times She ends up having Her orgasm. I am Her OA (Orgasmi Assistant). The frequency of Her orgasms can be as high as 5-6 times per week, and on occasion maybe even 7 or 8 times per week, but that's rare. She has had 5 over a weekend. I should say that Her orgasms are INTENSE and generally exhausting for Her. So she is a "one and done" most times. But most weeks it's probably 3 orgasms per week for Her, on average. I have noticed something, though, and the next time it happens, I'm going to mark it on the calendar. I seem to have noticed a phenomenon almost as if She is on a cycle of some sort, similar to when She had Her periods. She is post menopausal for quite some time now, so that's definite NOT what's going on. Yet, it seems like every 3 or 4 weeks, She has a noticed reduction in Her desire to work towards an orgasm. She graciously accepts my massages, and sometimes She'll even give my balls a squeeze, or a knee, or tease my nipples. But She'll do that for about 5 minutes and then says She's tired and going to sleep. It hasn't happened in several weeks, so I suspect I'm due for another such reduction sometime soon. Lastly, I will say this. Before we started this extended lock-up, our love sessions occurred AT BEST about once per month, and perhaps once every two months. She had very little interest in any intimacy after going through menopause. Where She use to actually enjoy giving me Her fantastic blow jobs, She began to view them as a chore, and would avoid giving them, unless I begged. Or...She got REALLY buzzed! LOL Now that we've both embraced this long-term chastity lifestyle, we are probably having intimate sessions more times per month, on average, then we EVER did in our relationship...even back when we were in our twenties. Of course intimacy back then was quite a bit different and sex was much more physical. But now, at our age, we'll take what we can get, and we BOTH love where our relationship is now as a result of our chastity-centered relationship. ~subrick
Bluntly: PIV- 3-6X a month. Average is 3. November (6) was an anomaly Just taking car of her O's- 3x a month (man I wish this number would jump higher) Solid making out in bed with touching most everywhere but no intention of taking it further 6x a month. O's YTD Her- 60 Me- 12 If all goes well this evening those stats should improve slightly. For the last 2 months I have been locked 100% of the time except for when she unlocks me for PIV. (longest lock 22 days). Quite a step forward for those who have followed our progress. It is still "my thing" as she says, and I haven't been denied a request yet, but I have learned patience seems to make this work...
Play for her M-Thurs is always oral sex for her nightly orgasm before bed, maybe once a week her bullet vibe while we “simulate” missionary sex, grinding together with no penetration. Then Fri-Sun is when she might use my penis for piv with no orgasm for me of course, but that’s becoming very rare, or she’ll peg me one or two of these nights, otherwise it’s more oral sex or vibe for her. She might give me some handjob teasing one of those weekend nights also. So basically, my Wife gets an orgasm from me in some way every day, she might skip a day or two a month occasionally but it’s quite rare. And penis play time is limited to a couple times a week usually. My orgasms getting more and more limited to ruins, maybe one full per month, which is the goal for this year any way.
We do something almost everyday when we are doing chastity together. Otherwise, it can be like once or twice in a two week period.
Actually we are well past our crazy fetish days sharing a girlfriend in bed each night and being submissive to both women who eventually refused to allow me to orgasm. I follow a rule that I often post about. Got it from a long married BDSM couple. I am talking hard core card carrying members of two BDSM clubs in NYC and long married. They told me that the secret to their longevity in their marriage and fetish was keeping their fetish confined to planned times. Most times it ended at the bedroom door. Once outside the bedroom they acted and behaved like a normal married couple. They guy may wear panties instead of boxers but you cannot see it. His wife certainly did not dominant him when not engaged in fetish play. In fact, he was a tough motorcycle riding guy who belonged to a tough biker gang. If they wanted to play outside the bedroom, the wife would ask him to put on his slave collar which indicated he was not submissive to her until she had him remove the collar. This is exactly what we do too. I am naturally alpha. Captain of my old football and baseball teams. Decorated combat squad leader and former worldwide expert in my field. I am used to being the boss, in charge and getting my way. I look like a mafia hit man with scars from old gang fights I was in growing up in government assisted project housing which was a step up from the immigrant slums we used to live in. I grew up fighting and winning, I was in organized sports since I was 8. People are afraid to anger me because I look like a am ready to fight anyone who looks at me wrong. In other words, I play submissive during sex. It is called a transfer of power. Inside our bedroom my wife is the dominant one and I obey her and she can do anything to me. My limits have always been that the woman could do anything she wants to me as long as it will not require medical attention from a doctor afterwards. I added the last part after getting an operation from a pegging with a too large dildo. My advice is to limit your chastity fun to defined places and times. Live a normal life when not playing. I have been at this for over 50 years. All three of my loves are bisexual. I only like fetish sex and have done most of the ones people know about. What happens is that guys read about chastity on sites designed to arouse males so that they visit them. They are not professional people telling you have to do chastity. They present sexed up arousing versions of chastity and surprisingly we all then try to do the things they say we are supposed to do like pegging, feminization, etc.. The truth is that we are all different and as I learned from a sex life that included over, 2000 threesomes and every fetish we could find online that was not dangerous or unrealistic. I even had sex with gay guys in my teens. I learned a lot over the years and know that when you watch or read porn you are feeling sexually aroused and not feeling what you will feel when you actually do what you see online. Plus guys seem to think that they need to follow the instructions on what to do and how to behave that they read about as if there are official rules to fetishes. To succeed you need to be realistic, confine fetish play to set times and places and not 24/7 or you will end up like 99% or the guys who try and fail at chastity after a few weeks or months. I have seen and chatted with lots of guys over the decades and they all came and went almost as quickly because they were trying to live their fetish sex life like it was a porn movie or story. I would get whipped until my ass was bleeding or kicked in the balls so hard that I fell to the floor in agony only to have our girlfriend push my legs apart with her foot to kick me again. I have burn marks on the head of my cock and if you can think of it we probably did it as I am into S&M as sa masochist. However, despite the beatings and pain, as soon as we left the bedroom I was once again in charge of our poly triad. If the girls wanted to play we would discuss it and plan a scene then do it. Now we are sans girlfriend so my wife will ask me to put on my slave collar and if I do it means I am no submissive to her wishes. She may only want a foot rub and when done I can remove the collar and ask my wife to cook something for me to eat and she will gladly do so. The key to longevity in chastity and all fetishes is to confine the to set times and places so that you can live a normal life when not playing. It is very unrealistic to think anyone will go long term being dominated, abused and submissive. I knew a lot of kinky people since we travelled in those circles in NYC. I was always amazed at the difference between how the couples behaved during fetish play versus how they behaved when not playing. You would never know unless you saw them in a BDSM club that they were into fetish sex. Most looked like ordinary people you meet and know. A bit of shock to see how they look while playing. We live a normal life except when having sex. Although I am always locked 24/7/365 even for doctor visits and no longer am allowed orgasms, I am only sexually tortured during sex until my wife has her orgasm on her vibrator as I moan in pain. She needs to hear me moan in order to orgasm fast and hard. She cannot be sexually submissive after being trained by her dominant girlfriend/lover. Once done with sex play, I stay locked and am once again the alpha male head of household. I understand the desire to be submissive but most of us are not really submissive, just like to play at it. I really do not know any males I would call submissive but then again due to who I am and the type of friends I have, I only know alpha males mostly. Alpha in real life but submissive during sex. All those things you are supposed to feel as published online are a bunch of BS. I too thought I should do like what I read but while it was fun for awhile it ended with us ending chastity in a matter of months. At first it was fun to be told to vacuum the house naked with a butt plug in my ass. Unfortunately the novelty and excitement of that wears off and I no longer wanted to be a naked slave with a butt plug hurting my ass and so I quit. Eventually we went back to the basics and limited play to play time only and I am still the dominant one in our marriage but submissive sexually. We also have defined play times with most of the time living regular non fetish lives except I wear my chastity cage that no one can see. However, if I fly I take it off. So many think there are rules for fetish play that define how you are supposed to do things. God forbid if you remove your cock cage for two hours to sit on a plane. I assure you that the world will not end nor will your interest in chastity. Just lock up in the men's room when you land or on the plane right before you land. When your fetish becomes uncomfortable or a burden most drop it and go on to something else. You fetish should be part of your relationship, not the sole relationship. That is why if you come back here in a year there will be mostly different people here because most of the guys online will quit chastity. I only knew three people that are still into chastity fro 12 years ago. All the others just gave it up once the novelty and excitement wore off. Few can live a full time fetish lifestyle. Never met anyone, even the hard core BDSM club members we knew for years, lasted more than a few years except for those who understood that fetish play is simply that, play, not a full time lifestyle.