What's your favourite part of being locked/locking?

The build up, the intense relief when I finally get to cum are the first thought I had when reading this. But those I have even when I self lock. The intensity of giving up that most primal urge to someone else the few times I have been lucky enough to were the most intense sexual feelings I've ever experienced. The thought of giving up control is what is addicting!

 

I enjoy my KH being in control. My cock used to be mine, but now, it is for her pleasure. I enjoy making sure she gets to relax at home and not do all the house work.

But, my fav part...

Being caged while she is pleasured.
Seeing my cock drip from denial
being edged until I almost break!
Her cumming all she wants

Thats my fav!

 

I enjoy the impact it has on our life. I'm much more focused on her, and on her pleasure. We spend more time together. We are wayyyyy more kinkier. My orgasms are such a small price to pay for that.

 

Without a cage, orgasms are taken for granted and can be had anytime alone. When your lover controls the when and where, you can appreciate it so much more. There is also that constant reminder that "it" belongs to your lover and the whole thing is conducive to better and more open communication.

 

Great question!
I think my answer is based on a few things.
I am currently in a sexless marriage due to my wife having Bone Cancer. She has lost ALL interest in sex, anything sexual or erotic. We never do anything sexual and we have no intimacy (which I miss). As for me, I have a very high sex drive and I am a chronic masturbator and love looking at porn.
I confessed all this to my wife and asked her for her help as my masturbation and porn problem was getting in the way.
I think my reasons are as follows:
1. I feel if my wife never has an orgasm because of her illness, then I also should be denied the pleasure of orgasm. I want to have both empathy & sympathy for my wife. This is sometimes difficult as I still have the urge and she does not.
2. I enjoy having my wife having totally 100% being in control of my life, which includes my orgasms. A quote I learned years ago is;
"To control a man, you must control his orgasms." This quote is sooooo TRUE.

I believe these are the 2 main reasons I enjoy being and staying in chastity.

Plus it cured my masturbation problem and has cut my porn addiction by almost 95%. What good is looking at porn if you can't masturbate?
I still look occasionally as I am still a man and find the female body (all shapes, sizes & colirs) very beautiful.

 

Great reason and so true!

 

Sorry to hear about your wife having bone cancer, hopefully she will make a full recovery,

 

You are quite the man to give up your sex. Your wife must feel honored.
Ss

 

For my kh and I the most important thing is the change in my behavior. I am much more easy-to-use when wearing my chastity cage.

 

Ditto from me, @submissive Bobbie (Bob), that's is an inspirational thing to do.

For me the shallow reason I enjoy being locked is the sheer mind blowing strength of my orgasms when I do have one after several weeks of being denied. They eclipse any orgasm I have had previously. I wish the body was better at building up the chemicals involved in the release as any longer than six weeks doesn't really add to the experience. Could you imagine the power of a biannual orgasm if it did!? You would need paramedics on stand by!

But as I say, that is the shallow reason. The major reason is the effect this has had on my Wife. She is happier, more relaxed and much more open to instigating intimacy than ever before. Just like @locked butler said about his situation, my Wife is far kinkier than ever before and our sex has never been as good or as powerful as it is now, So I too feel my orgasms are a small price to pay.

I also have to say I completely agree with @Jessica Alexander - male orgasms are just too easy and too much taken for granted. My Wife has made them mean something again. The fact that I am having so much fun along the way is just a huge bonus.

 

For now it's quite simply - not being able to get sexual release. It prolongs the build up over a week (for me - for now). I am conscious of wearing the device and that just adds to the delicious sensation of denied release.

 

I think the biggest reason is that I want my wife to feel safe and in control. When the dick is out I tend to act bossy, so in addition to being a form or behavior modification for me it's also for her. Together we are becoming stronger and better at communicating our needs. Just this morning she was remarking that she's not used to the idea that she can tell me what to do and when to do it and instead of those demands becoming a sore point they in fact bring us closer together.

I often ask myself why I'd torture myself like that, we've entered into 24/7 locked up with weekly cleaning/shave. For me it is no sacrifice if it brings me closer to my wife.

In this journey we either focus our energies on ourselves or on others, I need help with it, but I much prefer to be focused on others in general and my wife specifically.

It's funny because my wife asked why she'd do it, I told her it puts her in control, literally, but she complained that then she couldn't take it out and play with it or ride it when she wanted to. I did explain that she had the key, she could do whatever and whenever she wanted.

 

I love the sound of the lock clicking shut. But mostly it is the closeness it brings to me.and.the wife. No solow action we are bounded together by a lock and a key. Also I know she really wants sex and not just letting me have my way.

 

It's the feeling of the belt. The constant reminder I cannot remove it. The look and feel of it. I can get my self sometimes quite flustered just by tugging and stroking it and then there is the orgasm tap that is firmly turned up and that slow build up of submissiveness and the fact that Mistress is now getting more and more orgasms. I haven't been locked now for over a month but I haven't had an orgasm for longer than that.

Diapers are used now to keep me secure and a locking cot and restraints.
Hugs
Lucy x

 

For me and myself its the intense lust, if my girl like to enjoy my lockness. even the part I feel more and more feminine, which makes my girl lust. at all its a great pleasure for our couple

 

I like the intense feelings I have for my mistress after just a few days locked up. I've always loved her and appreciated her since we've been together but these feelings are tenfold after I'm locked. The denial part makes me pang for her and want any sort of sexual relief and I like that feeling of desperation and wanting.

 

I like wifey to have 100% control over me.
I love the feel of my cock locked in its cage, I feel naked without it.

 

My reasons for locking are multiple!
My wife is very vanilla, and has lost most of her sex drive due to diabetes and menopause, I call it "men no more"!
I used to masturbate multiple times a day.
I once found a steel and leather device in an adult book store that looked like it might be fun to wear, didn't know what a "chastity device" was at the time. We did have fun with it for awhile, but it could not be worn for very long. I did love the way it restricted my penis.
I discovered shortly after "male chastity", at least I found out what it was called.
I've had a few devices since, and the one thing in common was i loved how they felt on me!
I once could not get an erection once for my wife shortly after having masturbating, and she was pissed. Since that time I have used the devices to curb my masturbation, to the point where I just don't masturbate anymore. If and when she wants sex, I am ready for her!
Bottom line though is I love the feeling of having my penis restricted, the constant stimulation that constantly reminds me that it is there!

 

For me wearing a chastity device is the constant reminder that my wife/kh is the one in control of my sexual releases. Since I am not allowed to pester her for release, the unknown as to when that release might be keeps me totally on edge. It keeps me committed to her pleasure and happiness.
This lifestyle has also makes me deal with what life throws at you. Once upon a time after a stressful day I could just slip off and crank one off in order to unwind and relax. So now I have to handle that stress in a whole new way. Now I relieve stress in other ways besides sexual release. This has brought us closer because she knows I can't just go off and take matters into my own hands.
She now understands the power she holds with that single little key. I am now reminded each time I reach down to adjust my device, who is really in control....

 

I like the sensation that it gives me when I have it on. I like the fact that I don't know if it will be three days or thirty until I am unlocked and when I am not locked I miss the cage. When I wear it to school, the gym, or out shopping I wonder if I am the only one there locked in a steel cage. I also love how the steel makes it feel so real. Its not like I can just break it off with a cheaper CB device.

 

Thank you. I appears to be in remission.

 

For my wife and me, my going into chastity ended our fighting, and brought us peace.

We had gone through about 3 months of high-intensity daily arguments, and were both exhausted from them. In every fight, we were stuck in the drama triangle, where one of us seized the role of being the victim, and forced the other person into the role of being either the persecutor or the rescuer. It varied who was the victim (and it switched some), but usually, she was the victim and I was the persecutor. The fights would drag on for hours to days, with a continuing focus on the victim's suffering and the persecutor's blame, guilt, and shame. The rescuer's corner almost never got used, by either of us. We were close to getting a divorce.

As a desperate bid for peace, I suggested that we try using a chastity device. We had never previously talked about it, and certainly, had never tried it. Magically, as soon as the lock snapped shut, the arguments stopped. We've felt happier and more together since I was locked up than we have in the previous 30 years of our marriage.

Using a chastity device has enabled us to start using the rescuer's corner for the first time. When she unlocks me, whether it's for sex or a cleaning/medical check, she's rescuing me. When I'm locked up again, I'm in a better mindset to rescue her from the things I've done wrong throughout our marriage.

We started with a 1 week contract and then moved to a 2 week contract. I had to get used to wearing a device, and am still getting acclimated to the pinching and painful pull-thru while sitting or driving. Hopefully the painful part will end in the not-to-distant future.

Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable to one another brings closeness and builds trust. The chastity device makes me both physically and mentally more vulnerable to her. It's led to me becoming submissive to her, and to her becoming dominant over me. Neither of us have taken these roles before (though we're probably inclined these ways), and we are both finding more sexual satisfaction .... hers with more frequent and more intense orgasms through my oral, and mine through tease & denial and the postponed/eventual orgasm. The dominance/submission roles are opening up new dynamics for us to explore (including S&M), which we're both enjoying as it amplifies and intensifies our lives.

It amazes us that using a chastity device has done so much to improve our lives and our marriage!!

I've not seen enough on CM about chastity as a method of marital reconciliation, so I'm hoping my post here opens the discussion.

 

What a brilliant post. I love how you put the bit about the way using a chastity device allows yourselves to be vulnerable to each other. I have not used those words myself but it really describes my own experience as well.

I have written an extensive journal about my journey so far, the four months since starting this can only be described as that. The short version is I spent three days waiting for a phone call from my Wife of 25 years telling me she wanted a divorce. She came very close to making that call, but luckily she gave me one final chance. I suggested a chastity device as a way of showing my devotion to her and to cover up the genital modification that I had carried out and had started the problems we were having. I am even luckier that she agreed as now, like you, we are happier and more together than we had been for many years, and I am in a better mind set to be her husband.

Chastity is not a fantasy for me, it is a life changing marriage saving opportunity.