Hope I have, Locked Against My Desire I Am

Well, it finally happened. To those who have followed my story you know I have traveled on that common journey that so many have paved the way before. I made all the mistakes to begin with- convincing myself my joy, elation and fondness of chastity would totally be a turn on for my wife. Thinking she would instantly want to get hold of that key and fulfill all those desires a clueless topping from the bottom husband could dream.

Yeah, I was that every guy.

We have slowly evolved- to her accepting things reluctantly and eventually agreeing there are benefits. But never was she into it, it was to please me and I knew it. It deflates things when you know the bondage is made of paper but we have had some amazing experiences along the way. She now paddles/spanks me every other week, we peg regularly and so much more. How could I reasonably ask more?

Well. Last week I was on a work conference in the Caribbean with her and some colleagues. She insisted I would be unlocked for the trip, which I would have preferred to be locked for- but I accepted. Timing wasn't right so we couldn't play (she is completely against playing in any way that time of the month). But being unlocked I took the liberty to stretch when I could (but no O).

We came home late Friday and planned a fun Saturday night together. I was still unlocked and we had a blast involving me worshipping her, her pegging me and so much more- except for anything involving the big guy. I said to myself- no worries, I will stretch out tomorrow morning. With that as soon as I went to the bathroom to clean up she said- "Make sure you lock up- I want my key back". That kind of caught me by surprise, and she saw that. I asked if we could maybe delay to the morning and she flat out said no, lock up. I agreed, even though I really didn't want to. That is a first for us, and certainly me. I have never had her tell me to lock when I didn't want to, and frankly to have her thinking of it when I wasn't kind of took me back.

So here I am, getting what I have always wished for. Knowing I have a Queen who makes me want to go through any means my body and mind can handle to please and worship. A Queen who told me to lock up, when I didn't want to, who took the key and left me in a spot where I honestly don't know what the future holds. The phrase is "Be careful what you wish for". For me it is "Be careful your best friend lives up to everything you could hope she could be". And I love it...

 

My how things have progressed. Last year I would have loved to have my wife deny me and ask me to be locked. Now I really want to be unlocked and orgasm. Just last night I was worshipping her, and after she was fully satisfied, she asked if I wanted to stretch a little. Of course I said yes, hoping I would be invited inside her. After a few edges I asked and was promptly denied and told to relock. I asked if maybe I could stay unlocked for the night and she flat out said "no, you are better off locked, that is the way you should be going forward". Fuck. I asked if she was enjoying this and she was non committal but said she did enjoy some of it and I "masturbate too much, so we need to control that". She said I am much better locked and that I should just expect to remain that way. Fuck Fuck.

Up until now I was hoping for the denial aspect but knew I could always fall back on a week here and there of freedom to work out the stresses of life. But now it looks like she has taken that off the table and is less keen to have me orgasm than in the past. I asked for this and now that I am getting it, the scary feeling is setting in. It doesn't help that work could not possibly be more stressful and I have no way of releasing that stress. I was at a crossroad on whether or not I wanted to continue with this- the downsides often outweigh the upside (there is an upside right?). I have prodded her here and there to see if she wanted to quit altogether and just go back to normal (part of me secretly wishes she would say yes). But it seems that ship has sailed and my bed has been made by me.

Conflicted...